有這10個(gè)特點(diǎn)的人最討人喜歡，你占了幾個(gè)？

It's hard to say exactly why you like someone.

有時(shí)候，我們很難講清為什么會(huì)喜歡某個(gè)人。

Maybe it's their goofy smile; maybe it's their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it's simply that they're easy to be around.

也許是因?yàn)樗麄兒┖窨扇说男θ?也許是因?yàn)樗麄兊穆敾蹤C(jī)敏;也許僅僅只是因?yàn)樗麄兒芎孟嗵帯?/p>

But scientists generally aren't satisfied with answers like that, and they've spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.

但是科學(xué)家們并不滿(mǎn)足于這個(gè)答案，于是他們花費(fèi)了數(shù)年來(lái)研究到底是哪些因素將人與人聯(lián)系在了一起。

Below, we've rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.

下面，我們匯總了一些他們的有趣發(fā)現(xiàn)。閱讀過(guò)后，你或許會(huì)對(duì)自己現(xiàn)階段的友情產(chǎn)生新的認(rèn)識(shí)，也許這篇文章將幫助你迅速建立更好的人際關(guān)系。

1. Copy the person you're with

模仿對(duì)方

This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person's behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.

這一方法被稱(chēng)為鏡像模仿，也就是模仿對(duì)方的行為。在你與他人交談的過(guò)程中，試著模仿他們的肢體語(yǔ)言、小動(dòng)作和表情。

In 1999, New York University researchers documented the "chameleon effect", which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other's behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.

1999年，紐約大學(xué)的研究員就曾證明過(guò) “變色龍效應(yīng)”——當(dāng)雙方下意識(shí)地模仿對(duì)方的行為時(shí)，會(huì)增加相互間的好感。

Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant's behavior or didn't, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.

研究人員讓72位男女分別與一位搭檔組成一組，合作完成任務(wù)。搭檔則在研究員的要求下選擇模仿或者不模仿參與者的動(dòng)作。與此同時(shí)，研究員用錄像機(jī)記錄整個(gè)過(guò)程。在互動(dòng)結(jié)束后，參與者被要求表示出對(duì)搭檔的喜愛(ài)程度。

Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.

果然，當(dāng)搭檔模仿參與者動(dòng)作時(shí)，更容易獲得參與者的好感。

2. Compliment other people

稱(chēng)贊他人

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.

在談話(huà)中，人們往往會(huì)將對(duì)方描述別人的詞語(yǔ)與對(duì)方的個(gè)人品質(zhì)聯(lián)系在一起。這一現(xiàn)象被稱(chēng)為“自發(fā)特質(zhì)移情”。

If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.

如果你把另一個(gè)人描述為真誠(chéng)和善良，對(duì)方也會(huì)認(rèn)為你是真誠(chéng)和善良的。反之亦然：如果你總與你的朋友在背后說(shuō)別人的壞話(huà)，你的朋友會(huì)認(rèn)為你也具有相同的特征。

3. Try to display positive emotions

展示積極的情緒

Emotional contagion describes what happens when people are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper from the Ohio University and the University of Hawaii, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them.

情緒是會(huì)傳染的，人們的心情深受他人情緒的影響。俄亥俄大學(xué)和夏威夷大學(xué)的一篇研究論文表明，人們會(huì)無(wú)意識(shí)地感知到周?chē)那榫w。

The authors of the paper say that's possibly because we naturally mimic others' movements and facial expressions, which in turn makes us feel something similar to what they're feeling.

論文的作者說(shuō)，這很大程度上是因?yàn)槲覀冏匀欢坏貢?huì)模仿他人的動(dòng)作和表情，所以對(duì)他人的情緒也能感同身受。

If you want to make others feel happy when they're around you, do your best to communicate positive emotions.

如果你想讓你周?chē)娜丝鞓?lè)，就努力展示積極的情緒吧。

4. Reveal your flaws from time to time

偶爾暴露自己的缺點(diǎn)

According to the pratfall effect, people will like you more after you make a mistake — but only if they believe you are a competent person. Revealing that you aren't perfect makes you more relatable and vulnerable toward the people around you.

根據(jù)“仰巴腳效應(yīng)”，對(duì)于優(yōu)秀的人來(lái)說(shuō)，一些微小的失誤會(huì)增加別人對(duì)他們的好感，因?yàn)檎故境霾煌昝赖囊幻鏁?huì)讓他們與別人更加親近。

Researcher Elliot Aronson asked male students from the University of Minnesota to listen to tape recordings of people taking a quiz.

研究員Elliot Aronson邀請(qǐng)了幾位來(lái)自明尼蘇達(dá)大學(xué)的男同學(xué)參與試驗(yàn)，要求他們收聽(tīng)一段測(cè)驗(yàn)時(shí)的錄音。

When people did well on the quiz but spilled coffee at the end of the interview, the students rated them higher on likability than when they did well on the quiz and didn't spill coffee or didn't do well on the quiz and spilled coffee.

實(shí)驗(yàn)結(jié)果表明，男同學(xué)們更喜歡那些雖然筆試成績(jī)優(yōu)秀，但是在面試的最后階段弄灑咖啡的人，而不是那些筆試面試都完美無(wú)缺、或者表現(xiàn)都不好的人。

5. Casually touch them

不時(shí)進(jìn)行身體接觸

Subliminal touching occurs when you touch a person so subtly that they barely notice. Common examples include tapping someone's back or touching their arm, which can make them feel more warmly toward you.

當(dāng)你在對(duì)方幾乎沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)的情況下，輕輕地觸碰對(duì)方時(shí)，就發(fā)生了下意識(shí)觸碰。常見(jiàn)的例子有：輕拍他人的后背或者手臂，讓他們感覺(jué)到溫暖和親近。

A University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment studied the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, and had some waitresses briefly touch customers on the hand or shoulder as they were returning their change. As it turns out, those waitresses earned significantly larger tips than the ones who didn't touch their customers.

密西西比大學(xué)和羅德學(xué)院開(kāi)展了一項(xiàng)實(shí)驗(yàn)，讓餐廳的一些服務(wù)員在找零的時(shí)候輕碰顧客的手或者肩膀，從而研究肢體接觸是否會(huì)對(duì)小費(fèi)有影響。結(jié)果表明，進(jìn)行身體接觸的服務(wù)員得到的小費(fèi)遠(yuǎn)高于其它員工。

6. Display a sense of humor

展現(xiàn)你的幽默感

Research from Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles found that, regardless of whether people were thinking about their ideal friend or romantic partner, a sense of humor was really important.

伊利諾伊州立大學(xué)和加利福尼亞州立大學(xué)的研究員發(fā)現(xiàn)，人們心中的理想朋友或伴侶都普遍具有一個(gè)重要特質(zhì)，那就是幽默。

A study from researchers at DePaul University and Illinois State University found that using humor when you're first getting to know someone can make the person like you more.

一個(gè)由德保爾大學(xué)和伊利諾伊州立大學(xué)開(kāi)展的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，在第一次見(jiàn)面時(shí)展現(xiàn)出幽默感的人會(huì)給對(duì)方留下很好的印象。

In fact, the study suggested that participating in a humorous task (like having someone wear a blindfold while the other person teaches them a dance) can increase romantic attraction.

事實(shí)上，這一研究發(fā)現(xiàn)一些有趣的活動(dòng)(譬如蒙住眼睛，在對(duì)方的指導(dǎo)下跳舞)往往可以使異性之間相互吸引。

7. See the other person how they want to be seen

以對(duì)方期待的方式來(lái)看待他們

People want to be perceived in a way that aligns with their own beliefs about themselves. This phenomenon is described by self-verification theory. We all seek confirmations of our views, positive or negative.

每個(gè)人都希望他人對(duì)自己的看法和自己對(duì)自己的看法是一致的。這一現(xiàn)象被稱(chēng)為“自我驗(yàn)證理論”。無(wú)論評(píng)價(jià)是積極還是消極，我們每時(shí)每刻都在尋求外界對(duì)自己想法的認(rèn)同。

For a series of studies at Stanford University and the University of Arizona, participants with positive and negative perceptions of themselves were asked whether they wanted to interact with people who had positive or negative impressions of them.

斯坦福大學(xué)和亞利桑那大學(xué)開(kāi)展了的一系列的相關(guān)研究，將參與者分為自我評(píng)價(jià)較高和較低的兩部分，并詢(xún)問(wèn)這兩組人更喜歡與贊美他們的人交往還是批評(píng)他們的人交往。

The participants with positive self-views preferred people who thought highly of them, while those with negative self-views preferred critics. This could be because people like to interact with those who provide feedback consistent with their known identity.

自我評(píng)價(jià)較高的人喜歡贊美他們的人，然而對(duì)自己有負(fù)面評(píng)價(jià)的人更喜歡批評(píng)他們的人。這是因?yàn)槊總€(gè)人都喜歡與和自己想法一致的人相處。

8. Tell them a secret

分享秘密

Self-disclosure may be one of the best relationship-building techniques.

自我坦白或許是建立友誼最好的方式。

You can try this technique on your own as you're getting to know someone. For example, you can build up from asking easy questions (like the last movie they saw) to learning about the people who mean the most to them in life.

你可以在和對(duì)方初次見(jiàn)面的時(shí)候試試這個(gè)技巧。你可以先問(wèn)一些簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題(比如他們上次看的電影)來(lái)了解哪些事物在對(duì)方生活中占據(jù)著重要的位置。

When you share intimate information with another person, they are more likely to feel closer to you and want to confide in you in the future.

當(dāng)你與他人分享私人信息時(shí)，他們會(huì)感覺(jué)與你更加親近，并會(huì)更加信賴(lài)你。

9. Show that you can keep their secrets, too

保守秘密

Two experiments led by researchers at the University of Florida, Arizona State University, and Singapore Management University found that people place a high value on both trustworthiness in their relationships.

佛羅里達(dá)大學(xué)、亞利桑那大學(xué)和新加坡管理大學(xué)的幾位研究者發(fā)現(xiàn)，人們很重視人際關(guān)系中的信譽(yù)。

This trait proved especially important when people were imagining their ideal friend and ideal employee.

信譽(yù)也是人們理想中朋友和員工的一大重要特質(zhì)。

10. Let them talk about themselves

讓他們盡情地談?wù)撟约?/p>

Harvard researchers recently discovered that talking about yourself may be inherently rewarding, the same way that food, money, and sex are.

來(lái)自哈佛的研究員最近發(fā)現(xiàn)談?wù)撟约罕旧砭褪且患?duì)自我有益的事情，就像食物、金錢(qián)和性一樣。

In other words, letting someone share a story or two about their life instead of blabbing about yours could give them more positive memories of your interaction.

也就是說(shuō)，我們應(yīng)該讓對(duì)方多分享自己的故事，而不是滔滔不絕地講自己的事情。前者更能給對(duì)方留下好印象。