I have no magic pill for solving the problem of school bullying in China, but reading about it recently brought back some memories.
我沒有解決中國校園欺凌問題的魔法藥丸,只是最近的報道讓我回想起以前的一些經(jīng)歷。
About half the students in regular Beijing schools have been victims of bullying — some of them daily — according to a recent survey. I'm not surprised.
最近一項調查顯示,北京正規(guī)學校里幾乎有一半的學生都曾遭遇過校園霸凌,其中有的學生甚至每天都在遭受這種欺凌。對此我并不驚訝。
I will admit to bullying my younger brother once or twice, but I never did any real damage — unlike my friend's big brother, who rolled him up tight in a 3-by-3-meter carpet and then sat on him for 20 minutes. My friend nearly died.
我得承認我曾偶爾欺負過我弟弟,但我從未給他造成任何實質性傷害,不像我朋友的哥哥,他曾把我朋友緊緊地裹在一張9平米的小毯子里,然后在他身上坐了20分鐘,當時我朋友差點就死掉了。
That image haunts me. It cured me of any macho pretensions and turned me into the kind, loving defender of the weak and helpless that I am today.
這件事情一直在我的腦海揮之不去,它治好了我狂妄自大的大男子主義,讓我從此變成一個捍衛(wèi)弱小者權利的匡扶正義之人。
But for some reason in my school years I was a bully magnet. My earliest memory is from third grade, when two older boys held a knife to my throat after school. I stood very still, and they soon left me alone.
但在學生時代,因為某些原因,我一直是容易受到欺凌的體質。記憶里最早可追溯到三年級,有一天放學后,兩個比我大的男生把刀架在我的脖子上,我嚇得呆若木雞,過了一會兒他們走了,留下我一個人呆呆地站在那里。
Once, in fourth grade, I was minding my own business on the playground when the stocky son of a steelworker came up out of nowhere and socked me in the face. I never figured out why. This kid wasn't bright, but he sure could punch.
四年級時有一次,我正在操場上想心事,一個鋼廠工人壯實的兒子不知道從哪里突然躥出來,上來就對著我劈頭蓋臉就是一頓揍,我至今不知道為什么。這個孩子不機靈,但仍可以欺負我。
In sixth grade, I was walking alone in my neighborhood when another boy ran toward me. As I turned to greet him, he gave me a knuckle sandwich. I flailed back, but he had received boxing lessons and bloodied my nose for good measure.
六年級有一天,我正在家附近的街道上走著,突然一個男孩向我跑來。當我向他打招呼時,他對著我的嘴就是一拳。我也對他還手,但他上過拳擊課,最后我不僅沒報到仇,反而連鼻子也被他打出血了。
In seventh grade I learned to give the bullies my lunch money before they asked for it. I never told anyone because I was afraid they would get revenge. Better to suffer.
七年級時,我學會了在混混們找我要錢之前主動乖乖地上交我的午餐費,這件事我從未和任何人談起,因為我很害怕他們會變本加厲地報復我,與其這樣,我寧愿默默地承受。
Then came high school, where a bully named Shuey decided he didn't like me. He hazed me for months, from verbal assaults to scribbled vulgarities on my desk. He challenged me to meet him behind the school, but I demurred — and he called me a coward in front of my classmates. He had mastered the art of intimidation. I was a tender lad who didn't want to fight anybody.
后來上了高中,一個叫Shuey的混混看我不順眼,從語言的辱罵到在我桌子上亂寫些低俗粗魯?shù)脑?,他戲弄了我?guī)讉€月。他很擅長恐嚇這一套,他約我放學后見他,但我拒絕了——然后他就當著我同學的面叫我懦夫。我是一個不愿和任何人發(fā)生沖突的膽小男孩。
One day I had enough. When Shuey blocked my way into class, I exploded, ramming him and knocking him down. He got up and took a swing. He missed — and I instantly saw my advantage. I had a longer reach by 10 centimeters, and my fists were faster than I ever knew. Shuey was overwhelmed by my attack and couldn't lay a hand on me.
終于有一天我受夠了,當Shuey再一次擋住我進教室的路時,我爆發(fā)了,朝他撞去把他撞倒了,他站起來時趔趄了一下,就在這個空當我發(fā)現(xiàn)了我的機會。我的手多伸出10公分,以我自己都難以想象的速度一拳朝他打去。Shuey最終被我打敗,再也不敢動我一根汗毛了。
Soon, we were marched off to the principal's office, where Shuey's puffy, beaten face compared unfavorably to my virgin visage. When the principal suggested going to the gym and putting on the gloves, I enthusiastically agreed. Shuey hesitated, knowing he would get thumped. But the principal didn't mean it anyway and sent us back to class.
沒多久,我們就被帶到了校長辦公室, Shuey的臉被打得腫了起來,相比之下我的臉干凈如初。當校長提議讓我們倆去體育館戴上手套再來比一局時,我激動地答應了,但Shuey猶豫了,他知道自己會挨揍。不過,校長本來也沒有這個意思,他打發(fā)我們回了教室。
Word of the fight got around the school, and nobody bothered me again. It was uncivilized behavior, but something big changed in my life: My fear vanished.
我的英雄事跡很快就傳遍全校,再也沒有人來煩我了,這并不是一件光彩的事情,但我的生活因此發(fā)生了極大的改變:我終于不再恐懼。