收到不喜歡的禮物怎么辦

Count on the Thought

收到不喜歡的禮物怎么辦

I am a 15-year-old girl with a problem that’s going to make me sound super-spoiled. I get excited for the holidays, especially (and selfishly) about the gifts I’m going to get. But every year, I end up bummed out. Like: “Really, Mom? A bracelet for a 10-year-old?” It happened again this year. I know the holidays aren’t about gifts, but I can’t help feeling as if the people who get me presents don’t even know me. Any advice?

我是個(gè)女孩，今年15歲，我的問題聽起來會(huì)給人一種我被慣壞了的感覺。節(jié)日總是讓我興奮，特別是想到我會(huì)收到禮物(這個(gè)也有點(diǎn)自私)。但是每年我都會(huì)失望。比如：“不是吧，媽媽?給10歲的孩子送手鐲?”今年也是這樣。我知道節(jié)日的重點(diǎn)不是禮物，但我總覺得給我送禮物的人好像都不懂我。你有什么建議嗎?

Anonymous, Albany

匿名，奧爾巴尼

For one Christmas, we should all be 10-year-old gay boys, circa 1975: old enough to feel vaguely ashamed of being different — not that we should, but remember, this is 1975 — and no chance of telling our parents what we really want. (Hello, Easy-Bake Oven!) So we make up something that a “normal” boy may like, but we never wanted it. That pitiful cycle cured me of gift dissatisfaction for life. I never expect to like gifts; I’m only grateful for the giver’s effort.

大約在1975年的圣誕節(jié)，我們都是10歲的快樂孩子：在那個(gè)年紀(jì)，跟別人不同會(huì)讓你模糊地感到羞愧——不是說我們應(yīng)該那樣，但是要知道那是 1975年——我們沒機(jī)會(huì)告訴父母我們真正想要的東西(嗨，簡(jiǎn)易烤箱!)。所以我們會(huì)編出一個(gè)“正常”男孩可能會(huì)喜歡的東西，但我們自己其實(shí)從未真的想要它。這個(gè)可憐的惡性循環(huán)讓我一生都不會(huì)對(duì)禮物失望。我從不期望自己會(huì)喜歡禮物，只會(huì)感激贈(zèng)予者的付出。

Try to tamp down your expectations, Sweetie. We all have mysterious hearts, even you — maybe especially you. It’s next to impossible for parents to keep up with quick-change teen tastes. Focus on your mom, instead: driving to the jewelry store and wandering the aisles, somehow walking out with a gift for a little girl. Doesn’t that make you feel better about her lousy bracelet? It should. If not, work hard in school. Then, when you’re a successful adult, you can buy the things you really want for yourself.

寶貝，盡量降低你的期待吧。我們的內(nèi)心都很神秘，包括你，你的內(nèi)心甚至可能尤為神秘。父母?jìng)儙缀醪豢赡馨盐涨嗌倌昕焖僮兓南埠?。把重點(diǎn)放在你媽媽身上吧：她開車到珠寶店，在柜臺(tái)間徘徊，在這里給一個(gè)小女孩買了個(gè)禮物。這樣想想，你對(duì)那個(gè)討厭手鐲的感覺是不是好了一點(diǎn)?應(yīng)該會(huì)。如果沒有，那你就努力學(xué)習(xí)。這樣你長(zhǎng)大后事業(yè)成功，就能買你真正想要的東西了。

Guest of Horror

受驚的客人

On the afternoon of our holiday party, a friend asked if he could bring a guest. We said yes. When they showed up, his guest (whom we had never met) saw our dog and screamed. She demanded that the dog be “put away.” But we live in an open loft; there was no place to put him. We explained that our dog is old and friendly, but the guest refused to come in and our friend was furious. What should we have done?

在我們舉辦節(jié)日派對(duì)的那個(gè)下午，一個(gè)朋友詢問能否帶一位客人來。我們同意了。他們現(xiàn)身時(shí)，他的客人(我們從未見過)看到我們的狗，尖叫起來。她要求把狗“關(guān)起來”。但我們住在一個(gè)開放的loft公寓里，沒有地方關(guān)狗。我們解釋說我們的狗年紀(jì)大了，很友好，但是這位客人拒絕進(jìn)來，我們的朋友很生氣。我們當(dāng)時(shí)應(yīng)該怎么做呢?

L.C., New York

L. C. ，紐約

Why is it always the uninvited guests who swan in with the greatest sense of entitlement? You did exactly what you should have: apologize sweetly for the impossibility of acceding to her demands. If you wanted to go the extra mile (not that you should have), you could have offered to put your dog on a leash. But that only raises another question: With you and your partner scurrying around as party hosts, who would hold the other end of it? We’re all entitled to our fears, but that doesn’t give us the right, as guests, to reorder our host’s universe.

為什么總是那些不速之客覺得自己最需要照顧?你做得很對(duì)：溫和地為不能答應(yīng)她的要求道歉。如果你想多付出一點(diǎn)(不是說你必須這樣做)，你可以提出給狗拴上繩子。但是那會(huì)引發(fā)另一個(gè)問題：你和伴侶作為派對(duì)主人四處奔走時(shí)，誰來牽狗呢?我們都有權(quán)利恐懼，但是作為客人，我們無權(quán)重新安排主人的世界。

Leaving a Paper Trail

手寫感謝卡

I am a new law school grad and looking for a job. I have been interviewing with partners at law firms and others. Typically, I follow up with thank-you emails within 24 hours and handwritten notes a few days after that. But my adviser thinks that handwritten notes are unnecessary these days, and my husband thinks they make me look like a schoolgirl. What about you?

我是個(gè)剛畢業(yè)的法學(xué)院學(xué)生，正在找工作。我參加了一些法律事務(wù)所合伙人主持的面試。我一般會(huì)在面試結(jié)束后24小時(shí)內(nèi)發(fā)去電子感謝信，幾天后再發(fā)去手寫的感謝卡。但我的指導(dǎo)老師認(rèn)為如今沒必要發(fā)手寫卡片，我丈夫認(rèn)為那會(huì)讓我看起來像個(gè)女學(xué)生。你怎么看呢?

Katrina Robinson, New York

卡特里娜·羅賓遜(Katrina Robinson)，紐約

Naturally, I disagree. (But that’s what makes a horse race.) I see no downside in taking a second crack at reminding hiring people of your existence. If that makes us “schoolgirls,” in your husband’s view, sign me up for a pinafore — and our new employer’s dental plan. One caveat: do more in the handwritten notes than repeat the contents of your initial emails. Hunt around for articles your interviewers have written or cases they won, and mention them. (Flattery is one of life’s best lubricants.)

我肯定是不同意他們的看法(不過每個(gè)人都有自己的理由)。我覺得讓招聘人員再次想到你，沒有任何負(fù)面影響。如果就像你丈夫說的，那讓我們看起來像 “女學(xué)生”，那我也報(bào)名要一條學(xué)生款連衣裙——以及我們新雇主的牙科護(hù)理計(jì)劃。還有一個(gè)建議：在手寫卡上多花些工夫，不要重復(fù)你最初電子郵件中的內(nèi)容。搜索一下面試官們發(fā)表的文章或打贏的官司，在感謝卡中提一下(恭維是人生最好的潤(rùn)滑劑)。

Still, remember the wisdom of the ’80s pop star Karla Bonoff and pretend she was referring to the limits of thank-you notes when she sort of sang: You can mail it in, you can phone it in, you send it in by your closest kin — but you’re only getting that second interview if they liked you personally, yeah, personally.

不過，別忘了80年代流行歌星卡拉·博諾夫(Karla Bonoff)的智慧，不妨把她唱的那首歌理解成是在講感謝信的局限：你可以把它寄去，也可以打電話表示感謝，還可以通過近親轉(zhuǎn)交——但只有在他們喜歡你這個(gè)人的時(shí)候，你才會(huì)得到第二次面試機(jī)會(huì)。

Driving You Mad

把人逼瘋

A couple I know hosts an annual gumbo party for New Year’s. Three years ago, I scraped the side of another guest’s car as I was leaving. I thought it was shrubbery, but the next morning, I saw what had happened. I called the host immediately and covered the other guest’s damage. Trouble is, this other guest continues to rib me about the accident every year. I want to move on from it. But I only see these folks at the party, and I don’t feel like having a heart-to-heart. Any suggestions?

我認(rèn)識(shí)的一對(duì)夫婦每年都舉辦新年派對(duì)。三年前，我離開派對(duì)時(shí)刮花了另一位客人的車的側(cè)面。我以為自己刮上了灌木叢，第二天早上才明白發(fā)生了什么。當(dāng)時(shí)我馬上給主人打電話，為那位客人支付了修車費(fèi)。問題是，那位客人每年都拿這事嘲弄我。我不想再提這事了。但我只在這個(gè)派對(duì)上看到這些人，我不想對(duì)他們推心置腹地說這件事。你有什么建議嗎?

Anonymous

匿名

Other than a hearing test? (Does metal scraping metal really sound like the brush of privet to you?) No, the reason this guy keeps ribbing you is precisely because he sees you only once a year. To him, your sideswipe is the most memorable thing about you. If you want the teasing to stop, get to know each other better at the party (so he has some competing information) or invite him to your place during the year. Two more thoughts: A sassy quip guarantees that your lousy driving will be etched in acid on this guy’s brain. And don’t forget your side mirrors.

你是說除了聽力測(cè)試之外的建議?(金屬刮擦聽起來真的像刮上了灌木叢?)這個(gè)人一直嘲弄你是因?yàn)樗荒曛灰娔阋淮?。你刮花他的車是他?duì)你最深刻的印象。如果你不想讓他再嘲弄你，那就在派對(duì)上更多地相互了解(這樣他對(duì)你就有別的印象了)或者在一年的其他時(shí)候邀請(qǐng)他去你家。還有兩點(diǎn)提醒你：對(duì)他還以無禮的嘲弄一定會(huì)讓你糟糕的駕駛技術(shù)更深刻地印在他腦海里。還有，不要忘了看后視鏡。