Baseball fans are gearing up for the World Series, but we all know what's the real national pastime: complaining. Could you go without griping about anything for a day? For a week?
A couple of editors at Slate's Double X women's site are trying to go a whole month without complaining. Both Jessica Grose, managing editor, and Hanna Rosin, founding editor, say on the site that they've grown concerned about over-relying on complaints in getting through their juggles Ms. Grose is newly engaged, Ms. Rosin married with three young children. Over the course of their efforts, the two realize how much of their interactions with friends and colleagues are based on the common currency of complaining.
Ms. Grose recounts a recent pleasant drive during which she realized she was enjoying a good moment in her life and had nothing to complain about which led to "a twinge of panic" at the very fact of having nothing to complain about. "This shining moment of whine-free living made me realize how much kvetching I do on a daily basis. If I am honest with myself, I would estimate that about 70% of the things that come out of my mouth are gripes. Good-natured,often, but still nonessential and sometimes obnoxious to others."
So Ms. Grose decides to "try to stop complaining entirely about small things and quit excessively complaining about the bigger ones," for a month. She enlists her boss, Ms. Rosin, in the effort to reach a state of more "mindful complaining," as Ms. Rosin terms it.
Ms. Rosin relates her own tale of addiction to complaints: After she griped about keeping up with her children's complex schedule of after-school activities, her husband made up a weekly schedule and posted it on the fridge. "I nearly killed rum. Honestly, it was our most dramatic marital fight to date. Why was I angry with him? It took me a few days to figure it out. Because by helping to solve the problem, he had robbed me of my God-given right to complain."
I certainly join Ms. Grose and Ms. Rosin in spending a fair amount of time complaining, especially at work. As we've written about before, at some workplaces, people end up spending more time kvetching about work than actually working. Most of our gripes there these days center on our new publishing system, which remains a bit buggy after five months of use. But there's some modest enjoyment in commiserating about an experience we're all going through together, and for the most part I'm fortunate not to have truly awful work woes to complain about, my co-workers are talented and conscientious,and the section we produce is something we can be proud of.
I have few serious complaints at home, either. We have the usual little squalls, but my wife and I often remark how much we enjoy our children, our friends and each other. I try to look on the bright said most of the time, so I feel like whatever complaining I do isn't a debilitating problem in need of aggressive correction.
How about for you? What are the sources of your biggest complaints? Do you think you complain too much at home or at work, and could you see making a concerted effort over some period of time to cut back? Do you think you could go on a complaint fast?
你能做到不抱怨嗎
棒球迷們正在翹首以待即將到來的世界職業(yè)棒球大賽,但我們大家都清楚美國真正的全國性休閑方式是什么:發(fā)牢騷。你能不能一整天都不發(fā)一句牢騷?整整一周呢?
女性網(wǎng)站Slate's Double X的幾個(gè)編輯正在嘗試整整一個(gè)月都不抱怨。主編杰西卡·格羅斯和創(chuàng)始人兼編輯漢娜·羅森在網(wǎng)站上說,她們?cè)絹碓綋?dān)心自己需要過度依賴訴苦的發(fā)泄方式才能渡過難關(guān)。杰西卡最近剛剛訂婚,漢娜則是有三個(gè)小孩的已婚媽媽。在體味人生酸甜苦辣的過程中,她們倆都意識(shí)到,自己與朋友同事之間的很多溝通都是以發(fā)牢騷為主的。
杰西卡回憶起最近一次愉快的駕車旅途,她發(fā)現(xiàn)那是自己人生中一段美好的時(shí)光,根本沒什么可抱怨的——于這一事實(shí),她居然感覺到"一陣恐慌"。她說:“這種無可抱怨的美好時(shí)光讓我意識(shí)到,自己平時(shí)的生活都是在牢騷滿腹中度過的。憑心而論,我估計(jì)自己嘴里說出來的話有70%左右都是在發(fā)牢騷。這種抱怨往往沒有惡意,但還是屬于可有可無,有時(shí)還會(huì)讓別人感到厭煩。”
因此,杰西卡決定在一個(gè)月內(nèi),“試著完全停止對(duì)瑣事的抱怨,并對(duì)更重要一些的事情也盡量不去大發(fā)牢騷。”她把自己的老板漢娜也拉進(jìn)來,以漢娜的話來說,這是為了“互相監(jiān)督”。
漢娜也談到自己發(fā)牢騷上癮的故事:她抱怨自己很難跟得上幾個(gè)孩子錯(cuò)綜復(fù)雜的校外興趣活動(dòng)安排,于是她丈夫做了一張每周活動(dòng)日程表,貼在冰箱門上。“為這事兒,我差點(diǎn)宰了他。說實(shí)話,這是我們結(jié)婚來吵得最兇的一次??晌覟槭裁催@么生氣?過好幾天后我才想明白:因?yàn)樗麕臀医鉀Q了問題,但同時(shí)也剝奪了我天經(jīng)地義的發(fā)牢騷的權(quán)利。”
和杰西卡與漢娜一樣,我也經(jīng)常發(fā)牢騷,特別是上班的時(shí)候。我以前也在文章里寫到過,在有些辦公場所,人們抱怨工作的時(shí)間比真正工作的時(shí)間還要多。最近,我們對(duì)工作的抱怨大多數(shù)都集中在新開發(fā)的編輯系統(tǒng)上,因?yàn)榻?jīng)過五個(gè)月的使用后,系統(tǒng)似乎還有些小問題。不過,在對(duì)一種共同經(jīng)歷發(fā)牢騷時(shí),確實(shí)有一種隱約的快感;而我算是幸運(yùn)的,因?yàn)榛旧蠜]有真正意義上的工作難題需要抱怨一我的同事們既有才華、人又好,我們共同開發(fā)出來的內(nèi)容板塊也令大家感到自豪。
我在家也很少真正抱怨什么。我和妻子有時(shí)也拌幾句嘴,但經(jīng)常的話題是談孩子和朋友們的趣事,以及對(duì)彼此的喜愛。大多數(shù)時(shí)候,我都試著樂觀處事,因此并不覺得自己偶爾發(fā)牢騷是一個(gè)急需改正的壞毛病。
你的情況如何?抱怨最多的事情是什么?你覺得自己在家或上班時(shí)抱怨過多嗎?能不能在一段時(shí)間內(nèi)有意識(shí)地控制自己少發(fā)牢騷?能不能把少發(fā)牢騷這個(gè)“封口令”進(jìn)行到底?
句型講解:
1. Over the course of their efforts, the two realize how much of their interactions with friends and colleagues are based on the common currency of complaining.
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句。over the course of their efforts介詞短語作狀語。主句是the two realize how...,how引導(dǎo)名詞性從句作realize的賓語。
語法重點(diǎn):介詞短語作狀語,名詞性從句
2. Ms. Grose recounts a recent pleasant drive during which she realized she was enjoying a good moment in her life and had nothing to complain about which led to "a twinge of panic" at the very fact of having nothing to complain about.
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句,主句是Ms. Grose recounts a recent pleasant drive during。 which引導(dǎo)限制性定語從句,修飾drive,在從句中充當(dāng)during的賓語。 she was enjoying...complain about為省略了引導(dǎo)詞的賓語從句。其中which引導(dǎo)定語從句,修飾前面的句子she was...complain about。
語法重點(diǎn):定語從句
3. But there's some modest enjoyment in commiserating about an experience we're all going through together, and for the most part I'm fortunate not to have truly awful work woes to complain about, my co-workers are talented and conscientious,and the section we produce is something we can be proud of.
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句。主句由4個(gè)并列的句子組成。第一個(gè)句子中 we're all going through together為省略了引導(dǎo)詞的定語從句,修飾 experience。第四個(gè)句子中we produce和we can be proud of兩個(gè)句子為省略了引導(dǎo)詞的定語從句,分別修飾section和something。
語法重點(diǎn):定語從句
4. I try to look on the bright said most of the time, so I feel like whatever complaining I do isn't a debilitating problem in need of aggressive correction.
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句。主句是I try to look on the bright side…, so引導(dǎo)一個(gè)結(jié)果狀語從句,在這個(gè)狀語從句中又有一個(gè)whatever引導(dǎo)名詞性從句作feel like的賓語。 in need of aggressive correction介詞短語作后置定語,修飾problem。
語法重點(diǎn):名詞性從句,介詞短語作定語
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