Life's daily challenges are tough enough without having to deal with the little annoyances that chip away at our fragile well being. For me, one of them is being addressed as "sweetie" or ‘hon' by complete strangers.
I get this regularly---from the coffee-cart vendor or department store salesperson, on the phone or at a doctor's office. Since when do strangers feel they can address others with such familiarity? It rankles that some of the people I get this from are young enough that I could pass for their mother---that is, if I had had kids early.I understand the attempts to be friendly or convey warmth, but would the salesperson or vendor addressing me as I stand before them in a suit do the same to a man next to me dressed similarly? Somehow I doubt it.
Is it a generational thing? Or a cultural disconnect? One colleague says she doesn't mind at a1l being ca1led "sweetie" because it makes her feel young. I guess I'm of the Jane Austen school of social conduct that believes "sir" and "madam,""please" and "pardon me" are proper forms of address in daily discourse. I say "excuse me", "madam" or "sir", "could you please ..." when I have a question or need assistance.Perhaps exaggerate, but I do sometimes worry that the increasing erosion of good manners I see every day or read about could spell the end of a civilized society.
A New York Times article last year detailed how being called "sweetie"or "dear" chips away at the dignity of older people. "Professionals call it elderspeak,the sweetly belittling form of address that has always rankled older people," the article says.The piece refers to studies showing "that the insults can have health consequences, especially if people mutely accept the attitudes behind them."
On several occasions, I speak up , asking others to refrain from addressing me with undue familiarity. Just tell me yes or no or provide help or point me to the right direction---no niceties or terms of endearment necessary. Or please don't call me sweetie and just hand me the dam doughnut.
Readers, what's your take on this? Do you mind being "sweetie-d" by strangers? Have you used these terms yourselves to casually address people you don 't know? And in the spirit of Friday fun, what other little annoyances slow down your juggles?
別叫我“親愛(ài)的”
即使不必應(yīng)付那些讓我們脆弱的幸福感打了折扣的小煩惱,生活中每日面臨的挑戰(zhàn)也已經(jīng)夠大了。對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō),有一個(gè)小煩惱就是被一個(gè)全然不認(rèn)識(shí)的人稱為“親愛(ài)的”或是“甜心”。
我經(jīng)常被賣咖啡的小販或百貨商店售貨員這么叫,在電話里或是在醫(yī)生辦公室里。從什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始,陌生人感覺(jué)他們可以用這樣熟穩(wěn)的稱呼叫別人的?更讓人可惱的是,有些這么稱呼我的人還很年輕,我夠當(dāng)他們的媽媽了一一如果我早點(diǎn)生了孩子的話。我明白這些人試圖表現(xiàn)得親切或是表示對(duì)你的熱情,但是如此稱呼站在他們面前西裝革履的我的售貨員,會(huì)對(duì)我旁邊同樣西裝革履的男人也這樣稱呼嗎?我有點(diǎn)懷疑。
是因?yàn)槟甏煌藛?還是文化差異?我的一個(gè)同事說(shuō),她一點(diǎn)也不在意有人叫她“親愛(ài)的”,因?yàn)檫@讓她感覺(jué)自己很年輕。我猜我在社交行為準(zhǔn)則上屬于簡(jiǎn)·奧斯汀派,認(rèn)為“先生”和“女士”,“請(qǐng)”和“對(duì)不起”是日常交流中適直的說(shuō)法。我會(huì)在有問(wèn)題或需要幫助時(shí)說(shuō)"對(duì)不起,女士"或"先生,您能……" 或許我夸大其詞了,不過(guò)我有時(shí)真的擔(dān)心,我每天看到的或是讀到的禮貌舉止的日益衰敗可能預(yù)示著文明社會(huì)的終結(jié)。
去年《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》上的一篇文章詳細(xì)講述了對(duì)年長(zhǎng)的人來(lái)說(shuō),被稱為“親愛(ài)的”有損他們的尊嚴(yán)。文章中說(shuō),這種甜蜜但帶有貶低色彩的稱呼形式總會(huì)讓年長(zhǎng)的人感到惱怒。文章引述了研究結(jié)果,說(shuō)這顯示出這種侮辱性稱呼能帶來(lái)健康問(wèn)題,特別是如果人們默默地接受了稱呼背后的態(tài)度時(shí)。
有幾個(gè)場(chǎng)合,我會(huì)大聲說(shuō)出來(lái),請(qǐng)別人不要用過(guò)于熟捻的稱呼來(lái)叫我。干脆點(diǎn),告訴我“是”還是“否”,提供幫助或給我指路,不需要親切的稱呼或是表示喜愛(ài)的詞匯。請(qǐng)別稱呼我“親愛(ài)的”,干脆一點(diǎn)把那該死的甜甜圈拿給我。
讀者朋友們,你對(duì)此有何看法?你在意被陌生人稱為"親愛(ài)的"嗎?你自己用這樣的詞稱呼過(guò)陌生人嗎?出于娛人娛己的精神,有其他讓你厭惡的小事嗎?
句型講解:
1.I understand the attempts to be friendly or convey warmth. but would the salesperson or vendor addressing me as I stand before them in a suit do the same to a man next to me dressed similarly?
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句。主句是由but連接的兩個(gè)并列的句子。在第二個(gè)句子的主干是would the salesperson or vendor do the same to a man。addressing me do the same to a man現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)作后置定語(yǔ)修飾the salesperson or vendor, as引導(dǎo)時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句。 next to me介詞短語(yǔ)dressed similarly和過(guò)去分詞短語(yǔ)作后置定語(yǔ)修飾man。
語(yǔ)法重點(diǎn):分詞短語(yǔ)作定語(yǔ),時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句,介詞短語(yǔ)作定語(yǔ)
2.Perhaps I exaggerate, but I do sometimes worry that the increasing erosion of good manners I see every day or read about could spell the end of a civilized society.
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句。 that引導(dǎo)賓語(yǔ)從句,作worry的賓語(yǔ)。其中I see or read about是省略了引導(dǎo)詞的賓語(yǔ)從句,修飾erosion of good manners。
語(yǔ)法重點(diǎn):賓語(yǔ)從句,定語(yǔ)從句
3.The piece refers to studies showing "that the insults can have health consequences, especially if people mutely accept the attitudes behind them."
本句是一個(gè)復(fù)合句,主句是the piece refers to studies。showing that...behind them現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)作后置定語(yǔ),修飾 studies。其中that引導(dǎo)賓語(yǔ)從句,作show的賓語(yǔ)。If引導(dǎo)條件狀語(yǔ)從句。
語(yǔ)法重點(diǎn):分詞短語(yǔ)作狀語(yǔ),賓語(yǔ)從句,條件狀語(yǔ)從句
瘋狂英語(yǔ) 英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法 新概念英語(yǔ) 走遍美國(guó) 四級(jí)聽(tīng)力 英語(yǔ)音標(biāo) 英語(yǔ)入門 發(fā)音 美語(yǔ) 四級(jí) 新東方 七年級(jí) 賴世雄 zero是什么意思邯鄲市中恒書香門邸英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)交流群