托福寫作審題時(shí)需要避免的錯(cuò)誤

　　同學(xué)們考寫作考了這么多年，大多數(shù)出題的形式都已爛熟于心，看到題目之后覺得熟悉于是興沖沖提筆就寫，其實(shí)，這種看似“熟練”的表象下藏著巨大的隱患——同學(xué)們很有可能因?yàn)榭吹锰於雎阅硞€(gè)決定題目意思的關(guān)鍵詞。例如：

　　例1：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the only main cause for people’s unhealthy eating habits.

　　看到這個(gè)題目，同學(xué)們立刻會(huì)開始想，有沒有other reasons for unhealthy habits，想出三條

　　如：1. People’s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours;

　　2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”;

　　3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever.

　　綜上所述，advertising is not the only cause.

　　這個(gè)寫法看起來非常完備，但其實(shí)犯了一個(gè)不起眼卻嚴(yán)重的錯(cuò)誤——題目不是要我們證明it is not the only cause，而是要我們?nèi)プC明it is not the only main cause。多一個(gè)“main”，意思是很不一樣的。如果我們只需要證明it is not the only cause，那么找出other causes即可即例1中的寫法。但是，如果我們要證明it is not the only main cause，就需要證明other causes that we mentioned are also main causes，這就需要在每一段中加上一些專門的說明?；蛘?，更簡(jiǎn)單的辦法是去證明advertising is not even a cause, 直接在每段的末尾加上advertising與該段所論述的unhealthy eating habit無關(guān)的論述即可。If it is not a cause, how can it be the only main cause? 這樣一來，就不用通過證明還有其他main cause來反駁了，事實(shí)上，證明某種cause是main cause還是挺有難度的，因此筆者推薦同學(xué)們用后一種方式進(jìn)行論述。因此，文章還是disagree，而三段的主題句分別應(yīng)該是：

　　1.People’s tight schedules do not allowthem to eat at regular hours, and it is obvious that they are too busy to be influenced by advertising;

　　2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”, and this is more like a result of human nature, the pursuit of beauty, but not advertising;

　　3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever, and it is quite clear that no advertisingencourages them to do so.

　　例2：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges and universities should offer more preparation for student before they start working.

　　看到這個(gè)題目，很多同學(xué)會(huì)可能會(huì)這樣寫：Agree. 1. Students should take more specialized courses (專業(yè)課)in order to be knowledgeable and skillful enough for their future careers(接著開始論述being knowledgeable and skillful的重要性); 2. Participating in internships helps students to have a clearer picture of their vocational development in the future(接著開始論述如果沒有實(shí)過習(xí)，在工作的時(shí)候是多么地feel so unprepared); 3. Attending more club activities is an effective way to improve social skills, which are crucial for success both in life and at work(接著開始論述good social skills對(duì)職業(yè)和生活的幫助).

　　如果不看括號(hào)里的內(nèi)容，僅看主題句，這篇文章是沒有任何問題的。然而，括號(hào)中的論述從嚴(yán)格意義上來講，是不能支持“more”這個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞的。舉個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的例子：“我們需要錢”和“我們需要更多錢”在證明的時(shí)候重點(diǎn)是不一樣的。如果證明“我們需要錢”，應(yīng)該詳細(xì)闡述錢的“不可或缺性”，比如生活、學(xué)習(xí)、教育都需要錢;但是如果證明“我們需要更多錢”，重點(diǎn)則應(yīng)該放在“錢不夠”的論述上，證明在學(xué)習(xí)、生活、教育方面的預(yù)算都很緊張。同樣地，上面的題目中僅僅證明Knowledge for careers, field experience and social skills are important是不夠的，事實(shí)上，這些根本不需要證明，需要證明的事情是graduates today are not well prepared in the three aspects. 因此這篇文章應(yīng)該是一篇“抱怨型”的文章，詳細(xì)地去論述學(xué)校工作的不足。參考思路如下：Agree. 1. Many students today complain that they cannot learn practical skills and up-to-date information, for some of their teachers are not qualified enough to teach specialized courses; 2. Since many students are not allowed enough time to participate in internship programs before graduation, they know very little about what their future jobs like; 3. Joining clubs is possible for every college student, yet not every club provide is capable of offering enough opportunities for students to practice their social skills.

　　同學(xué)們?cè)趯懳恼碌臅r(shí)候一定要注意，學(xué)術(shù)論文寫作不是句型和辭藻的堆砌，整篇文章一定是一個(gè)well-organized system，這個(gè)system中很重要的原則之二就是——1、每個(gè)中間段的topic sentence是用來支持main idea的;2、topic sentence后面的每句話都是用來支持該topic sentence的。在上面的兩個(gè)例子中，大家會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)例1的錯(cuò)誤主要是main idea沒有很好地被topic sentence支持;而例2的錯(cuò)誤在于topic sentence雖然看起來是支持main idea的，但是論述的內(nèi)容可能跟關(guān)鍵詞“more”無關(guān)，從而不能有力地支持topic sentences。這些錯(cuò)誤的起因，則是對(duì)題干中關(guān)鍵詞的忽略。

　　托福獨(dú)立寫作審題誤區(qū)二 關(guān)鍵詞理解不準(zhǔn)確

　　與忽略關(guān)鍵詞的人不同，有些同學(xué)過于執(zhí)著于關(guān)鍵詞的字面意思，而沒能看出其背后的implication，從而被關(guān)鍵詞限制住思路，無法下筆。比起忽略關(guān)鍵詞，這種錯(cuò)誤更常發(fā)生在細(xì)心且實(shí)力不錯(cuò)的同學(xué)身上，也很值得大家注意。筆者建議，在寫文章的時(shí)候要靈活，不要拘泥于關(guān)鍵詞的字面意思，否則理由很不好想，就算想出來也很難用英文表達(dá)。例如：

　　例3：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education.

　　題目的意思是說，比起投資大學(xué)教育，政府應(yīng)該在小學(xué)教育上投入更多的資金?？吹竭@個(gè)題，同學(xué)們會(huì)有不同的看法，大體來講無非是兩種——認(rèn)為university education應(yīng)該花更多的錢或反之。但是，大家很快會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)證明任何一種觀點(diǎn)都是不容易的。比如說，有些同學(xué)可能會(huì)這樣寫：Agree. 1. Elementary school education involves more students than university education and it requires more money; 2. Colleges and universities have more sponsors than elementary schools so that the government should offer more financial support for the latter.3. Since elementary school education is the cornerstone of university education, it deserves more money from the government.

　　上面的主題句看起來是沒有問題的，然而在展開的時(shí)候困難重重——個(gè)點(diǎn)里說Pupils的數(shù)量多所以花錢多，這的確是事實(shí)，可是pupil人均所需要的經(jīng)費(fèi)卻肯定比university students少，最關(guān)鍵的是，我們并沒有數(shù)據(jù)作為支撐;第二點(diǎn)里說校友或社會(huì)人士的支持使得大學(xué)在財(cái)政方便面比小學(xué)要寬裕的多，然而，這還是一個(gè)沒有數(shù)據(jù)就無法證明的觀點(diǎn);第三點(diǎn)里說elementary school education是university education的基礎(chǔ)所以前者就應(yīng)當(dāng)比后者得到更多的預(yù)算，這是一個(gè)典型的邏輯錯(cuò)誤，因此在段落展開的時(shí)候?qū)?huì)十分困難。A是B的基礎(chǔ)并不意味著要為A花更多的錢。總之，錢本身就是一個(gè)可以量化的東西，如果真的以錢的多少來寫這道題，在沒有數(shù)據(jù)支持的情況下是很難成文的。許多同學(xué)之所以在寫的時(shí)候覺得自己的文章很牽強(qiáng)，就是因?yàn)榘言撐漠?dāng)成了論述題，而大家要知道，論述題都是要會(huì)給出數(shù)據(jù)讓我們來分析的。那么，在沒有數(shù)據(jù)的情況下，這種題目該怎么寫呢?找到money后面的implication很重要。其實(shí)，題目并不是要我們?nèi)ビ懻撃姆N教育應(yīng)該花更多的錢，而是讓我們?nèi)?duì)比兩種教育的重要性，自然地，更加重要的教育就應(yīng)該花更多的錢。所以我們可以有以下論述：

　　(Main idea) I cannot agree that the government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education, because they are equally important.

　　(Topic sentence) 1. Elementary school education prepares children for college education by teaching them how to learn and what they are supposed to learn.