2012年6月英語四級(jí)作文范文（滬江網(wǎng)校版）

On Excessive Packaging

Wandering at the supermarkets, you could find that the shelves are fulfilled with fancy and excessive packaging goods with high price, especially when festivals approach. Although the government has concerned with that issue, the phenomena still flourishes.

The reasons can be listed as follows. First, manufactures could benefit from the fancy packaging. Glorious packaging would increase the price to a large extent, from which they can gain excessive money. Second, most of this kind of goods are brought and sent as gifts to their relatives and leaders. Gorgeous packaging would attract people’s attention and make the people who buy them have the honor to send them out.

To my mind, excessive packaging is just a waste of resources and money. Most people would throw the package away after they opened it, which would lead to a severe pollution. To prevent the situation, every citizen should be aware of the problem and laws must be made to restrict the manufactures to cut down on luxurious packaging.

【解析】

本次寫作延續(xù)了傳統(tǒng)的出題方式，即英文題目+ 中文解析，但同時(shí)也繼續(xù)了去年的一點(diǎn)小改動(dòng)，對(duì)字?jǐn)?shù)作了明確的限定。對(duì)于考生而言，商品過度包裝本身已是日常生活的熱點(diǎn)話題，大家比較熟悉，能有較多發(fā)揮空間。

在寫作過程當(dāng)中，最重要的是要理清思路，將文章的邏輯關(guān)系理清。范文中，作者第一段描述了這一現(xiàn)象;第二段中，開篇便點(diǎn)出了主題，一目了然，列出了出現(xiàn)這一現(xiàn)象的原因;最后一段里，作者發(fā)表總結(jié)了自己的一些觀點(diǎn)。全文條理較為清晰。

其次，在句型方面，建議考生使用長(zhǎng)短句交錯(cuò)的方式，這樣節(jié)奏便較為明朗。

最后，用詞方面，文章對(duì)“過度包裝”使用了多種表達(dá)方式，如fancy packaging, luxurious packaging, glorious packaging等等。這樣文章便不會(huì)顯得“干燥”，讓閱卷老師懷疑你的詞匯量。因此，同學(xué)們?cè)谄綍r(shí)一定要注意同義詞、詞組的替換和使用。