老爸老媽的浪漫史第四季10

[00:01.46]*******
[00:01.46]我們?yōu)槭裁创蚣?
[00:03.09]**thing deep within each of us,that compels us to settle disagreements with our fists?
[00:03.09]我們內(nèi)心深處有股怎樣的力量 迫使我們用拳頭擺平異見?
[00:08.30]Whatever it is,it's there right from the beginning.
[00:08.30]不管它是何物 總伴隨拳架始終
[00:10.84]Okay,okay,okay. Stop fighting!
[00:10.84]夠了 夠了 夠了 別打了!
[00:13.24]Why?
[00:13.24]為什么?
[00:14.36]Because it's stupid and juvenile.
[00:14.36]因為打架很很蠢很天真
[00:16.65]We're six. We are stid and juvenile.
[00:16.65]我們才六歲 我們就是很蠢很天真的
[00:21.72]Okay,okay!
[00:21.72]別打了 別打了!
[00:22.72]Kids,I've only been in one fight in my life.
[00:22.72]孩子們 我這輩子只打過一回架
[00:25.24]And this is the story of how it happened.
[00:25.24]這個故事講的就是打架緣由
[00:27.35]Now,as you know,I recently had been left at the altar.
[00:27.35]你們知道 額最近在婚禮上被人甩了
[00:29.98]And the worst thing about getting left at the altar?
[00:29.98]在婚禮上被人甩了最可悲的是什么?
[00:32.23]I mean,aside from actually getting left at the altar,was what came next.
[00:32.23]除了在婚禮上被人甩了這事以外 還有其他的更悲的事
[00:36.34]A steady unrelenting unbearable stream of pity.
[00:36.34]就是那一股滔滔不絕的無休無止的 令人無法忍受的同情洪流
[00:40.12]Vodka cranberry. Gin and tonic.
[00:40.12]伏特加紅加倫 湯利水
[00:44.48]Scotch and soda.
[00:44.48]威士忌和蘇打水
[00:48.33]Um,thank you.
[00:48.33]多謝
[00:52.61]Could I see a menu?
[00:52.61]我可以點菜了嗎?
[00:54.02]Ted,Im going to go get you a menu...
[00:54.02]Ted 我這就去給你拿一份菜單...
[00:58.03]but I promise you I will come back.
[00:58.03]而且我保證我一定會回來的
[01:04.47]Okay,we have to start going someplace else.
[01:04.47]好了 我們要換個地方吃飯了
[01:06.93]At this bar,I'm always going to be the guy who got left at the altar.
[01:06.93]在這個酒吧 我總是被看做 一個在婚禮上被甩了的可憐蟲
[01:10.24]That sucks!
[01:10.24]太討厭了!
[01:11.70]Good times.
[01:11.70]美好的時光啊
[01:13.87]- We lost Barney. - What do you mean?
[01:13.87]- 我們就當 Barney不存在好了 - 你什么意思?
[01:15.50]There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater.
[01:15.50]那邊有個穿著緊身紅毛衣的妞兒
[01:17.85]So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying.
[01:17.85]他聽不下我們說的任何一個字的
[01:20.14]Right,Barney?
[01:20.14]對吧 Barney?
[01:20.98]Give me a break!
[01:20.98]別理我!
[01:22.73]See,he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation
[01:22.73]瞧 等他回過神來 就能編出一長串的鬼話
[01:25.40]just by saying titles of black sitcoms from the 70's and 80's.
[01:25.40]只需說說七八十年代 那些諷刺喜劇的片名就行了
[01:28.73]What's happening?
[01:28.73]怎么了?
[01:30.34]Hey,Barney,want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do?
[01:30.34]嘿 Barney 想到樓上對我做些 我都甚至不會讓Marshall做的事嗎?
[01:35.77]different strokes.
[01:35.77]我倆不是一水準的
[01:39.69]What the hell is this?
[01:39.69]這到底怎么回事 ?
[01:41.19]I've told you kids about Doug,right?
[01:41.19]孩子們 我跟你們提過Doug的 對吧?
[01:43.03]I haven't? Oh,well...
[01:43.03]沒有嘛? 哦 那好吧...
[01:45.34]Doug Martin was a bartender at MacLaren's.
[01:45.34]Doug Martin是MacLaren's酒吧的酒保
[01:47.82]He was always kind of around.
[01:47.82]他總是會在人周圍晃悠
[01:49.41]- Have... you met Ted? - What? No,no,no.
[01:49.41]- 你... 有沒有見過Ted? - 什么? 別 別 別
[01:51.34]We're not playing "Have you met Ted?"
[01:51.34]我們今天不用這招
[01:52.75]Am I dead? Am I dead?
[01:52.75]我死了沒? 我死了沒?
[01:56.16]Tonight... I pick up a lesbian.
[01:56.16]今晚 ... 我要釣一個拉拉
[01:59.61]Anyway,three things you need to know about Doug.
[01:59.61]你們必須知道關(guān)于Doug的三件事
[02:02.33]The first thing is that Doug had a bi ...
[02:02.33]第一件是Doug有點暴力傾向...
[02:04.84]just crumbled,so he's on the ground,right?
[02:04.84]腦袋破了 他倒在地上 知道吧?
[02:06.67]And we're just kicking him! He's making that face,all shaking.
[02:06.67]我們死命踢他! 他的整張臉啊 都在抽搐
[02:11.16]So,anyway,what we did was we left him there.
[02:11.16]然后 我們最后做的 就是把他扔在那里
[02:14.89]Top you off?
[02:14.89]給你滿上?
[02:17.08]The second thing is that he was weird about his hair.
[02:17.08]第二件就是他對自己的發(fā)型神經(jīng)過敏
[02:20.92]- What? - What?
[02:20.92]- 怎么? - 怎么?
[02:23.30]Are you looking at my hair?
[02:23.30]你盯著我的發(fā)型看嗎?
[02:25.51]Uh,no,sir. I-I was not.
[02:25.51]沒有 老兄 我沒有
[02:28.16]It's a toupee.
[02:28.16]假發(fā)又怎么了
[02:30.94]Is that funny? You want to laugh it up? Is it funny,guy? Is it?
[02:30.94]好玩嘛? 你們想取笑一番吧 伙計們? 對吧?
[02:34.49]I'll tell you what,why don't you,why don't you grab it?
[02:34.49]我想說 你干嘛不來抓一把?
[02:36.04]- Excuse me? - Go ahead,grab it.
[02:36.04]- 什么? - 來吧 來抓一把
[02:37.59]Grab it right off my head. Go ahead.
[02:37.59]把它從我頭上抓下來 來吧
[02:40.23]Huh,you don't want to grab it?
[02:40.23]你不想抓嗎?
[02:41.39]Come on. Come on,go ahead and grab it,huh?
[02:41.39]來吧 來吧 來抓一把?
[02:43.79]Want to grab it off my head?
[02:43.79]想把它從我頭上抓下嗎?
[02:45.13]Grab my toupee right off my head.
[02:45.13]把我的假發(fā)從頭上抓下吧
[02:52.53]I like you guys!
[02:52.53]我喜歡你們!
[02:54.90]But the third thing is that he was very loyal to his regulars.
[02:54.90]第三件就是他對?？头浅Ｖ倚?br /> [02:58.33]There they are!
[02:58.33]你們來啦!
[02:59.49]- Hey,you guys want your booth? - Oh,no.
[02:59.49]- 嘿 你們想要做平常的那桌嗎? - 哦 不必了
[03:01.17]- We're fine over here. - Yeah? Yeah? Yeah.
[03:01.17]- 我們坐這兒挺好的 - 真的? 真的? 好吧
[03:03.09]Maybe a little too loyal.
[03:03.09]可能忠心的過頭了
[03:04.39]Oh,no,it's fine,it's fine.
[03:04.39]哦 不必了 這樣挺好的
[03:06.28]Okay,you two lovebirds!
[03:06.28]好了 你們老兩口!
[03:07.58]Les take this somewhere else-- booth's reserved.
[03:07.58]去別處慢用吧-- 此桌已被預定了
[03:10.54]Let's go! Now! Come on!
[03:10.54]走吧! 馬上! 快點!
[03:12.46]Let's see some htle,Father. Up you get.
[03:12.46]動作快點 神父 快走吧
[03:14.24]Okay,guys,here we are!
[03:14.24]好了 伙計們 搞掂了!
[03:16.92]So,that's Doug.
[03:16.92]這就是Doug其人
[03:18.31]What the hell is this?
[03:18.31]這TM怎么回事?
[03:19.54]Oh,um,well,some guys are sitting in our booth.
[03:19.54]哦 有人坐著我們的桌子呢
[03:21.46]But you know what? This is fine.
[03:21.46]但你瞧 沒事的
[03:26.88]Let's go,I'll take care of it.
[03:26.88]行了 我來搞掂它
[03:29.05]Oh,boy,there he goes.
[03:29.05]哦 天啊 他過去了
[03:38.50]Ladies,if you'll please adjourn to your usual booth.
[03:38.50]女士們 敬請回到你們老位子去
[03:40.90]Gentlemen,I will require your assistance outside.
[03:40.90]先生們 我需要你們到外邊給我?guī)蛡€手
[03:43.59]Our assistance with what?
[03:43.59]幫個手干嘛啊?
[03:44.62]We're going to go out in the alley and fight those guys.
[03:44.62]我們要出到走廊去 和那群家伙干上一架
[03:47.64]What's happening now?
[03:47.64]現(xiàn)在是怎么回事?
[04:01.35]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode10
[04:01.35]老爸老媽浪漫史 第四季 第10集
[04:03.35]I'm sorry,did you just say we were gonna...
[04:03.35]抱歉 你剛才說我們要...
[04:04.50]Look,those guys are being inconsiderate,okay?
[04:04.50]瞧 那些家伙目中無人 對吧?
[04:07.85]So we're going to go outside and cave in their skulls,okay?
[04:07.85]所以我們要出去 打得他們滿地找牙 好吧?
[04:10.86]This will be fun!
[04:10.86]真會很爽的!
[04:14.92]He wants us to fight?
[04:14.92]他要我們?nèi)ゴ蚣?
[04:16.29]Like,with our hands and stuff?
[04:16.29]赤手空拳的?
[04:19.05]And feet maybe? I don't know what the rules are.
[04:19.05]腳也許也用上吧? 我還真不知道其中規(guī)則
[04:21.71]Wow,a fight. Should we go out there?
[04:21.71]哇 打架耶 我們要出去嗎?
[04:24.73]Come on,Ted. There's only three this you'll ever see me fight:
[04:24.73]得了吧 Ted 要想看我打架只有這三種情況:
[04:27.75]the stubborn clasp of a bra,Sexual harassment charges-- nine for nine--
[04:27.75]難纏的胸罩扣子 指控我性騷擾--沒一次告成功的
[04:34.07]And the urge to vomit when I see someone wearing brown shoes with a black suit.
[04:34.07]還有當我看到有人穿著黑色西服 搭配棕色皮鞋讓我作嘔時
[04:40.68]Marshall?
[04:40.68]Marshall?
[04:41.51]Dude,fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys.
[04:41.51]伙計 打架是喪家犬的事 我們是文明人
[04:44.16]Civilized guys don't fight.
[04:44.16]文明人是不打架的
[04:46.03]Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away,so...
[04:46.03]除非武器是絕地武士的激光劍 但這至少也是三五年以后的事了 所以...
[04:49.19]Well,that's not true.
[04:49.19]嗯 那可不見得
[04:50.92]Robin,I'm on the forums every day.
[04:50.92]Robin 我天天逛論壇的
[04:52.73]Three to five Thanksgivings from now,I'm going to be carving e turkey with Old Green.
[04:52.73]至少要再過3-5個感恩節(jié) 我才能拿著綠色激光劍切割火雞
[04:58.04]No,I'm saying there are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight--
[04:58.04]不是的 我說的是打架有很多正當理由--
[05:01.60]it might not be pretty,but in certain situations,you gotta do what you gotta do.
[05:01.60]可能不是很多 但是特殊情況 你只能這么辦了
[05:05.73]Right,I forgot. She thinks fighting's sexy.
[05:05.73]好吧 我差點忘了 她覺得打架很性感
[05:08.89]No,I do not! A lot...
[05:08.89]不 我才沒有! 是非常性感...
[05:12.36]Look,I come from a culture of hockey players.
[05:12.36]瞧 我受曲棍球隊員精神影響很深
[05:14.45]If a guy can throw down,it's somewhat way hot.
[05:14.45]如果有人把對方撂倒 這還真蠻性感的
[05:18.93]And scars,hello!
[05:18.93]還有傷疤 天啊!
[05:20.98]If a guy's got a scar,he's got a Robin.
[05:20.98]身上如有疤 Robin心隨他
[05:23.50]And if he's missing teeth? I'm missing my pants.
[05:23.50]嘴里缺顆牙 我褲子都脫下
[05:27.76]I'm missing my wisdom teeth.
[05:27.76]我拔了幾顆智齒的
[05:30.62]Outpatient procedure.
[05:30.62]一般的門診手術(shù)
[05:32.32]Local anesthesia. Whatever. It ain't a thing.
[05:32.32]局部麻醉 管他呢 不值一提
[05:37.07]Look,maybe we should go out there.
[05:37.07]瞧 也許我們真該出去
[05:38.73]I can't believe we're even having this discussion.
[05:38.73]真難以置信我們還討論這種話題
[05:41.79]Ted,you're 30; you're too old to act like this.
[05:41.79]Ted 你都30歲了 要打架你忒老了點
[05:45.50]I was 30 and in those 30 years I'd been punched once.
[05:45.50]我30歲了 在這30年里我被揍過一回
[05:49.19]There's a very simple explana...
[05:49.19]我簡單解釋一下...
[05:51.96]There was that thing at camp.
[05:51.96]還有夏令營那一次
[05:53.38]Today,we're going to braid friendship bracelets.
[05:53.38]今天 我們來編織友誼手鐲
[05:57.53]In college,I studied some Kung Fu.
[05:57.53]大學時 我學了點功夫
[06:05.82]And well,there was some other stuff.
[06:05.82]還有一些其他玩意
[06:12.10]The thing with the goat wasn't for another few months.
[06:12.10]關(guān)于這只羊的事 過了幾個月就解決了
[06:14.48]The point is,I had never been in a fight.
[06:14.48]問題是 我從沒打過架
[06:16.45]- I'm going out there. - No!
[06:16.45]- 我要出去 - 不!
[06:18.08]Dude,listen to me,please,trust me,I've been in plenty of fights.
[06:18.08]伙計 請聽我講 相信我 我打架無數(shù)
[06:21.45]It's really nothing to be proud of.
[06:21.45]這沒什么值得驕傲的
[06:23.75]Who did you get in a fight with?
[06:23.75]你和誰打架?
[06:26.14]My brothers.
[06:26.14]我親兄弟
[06:29.34]Yes,I'm sure that was quite a rumble in the Eriksen rumpus room.
[06:29.34]沒錯 我敢肯定Eriksen那混亂的房間里 可展開過一場混戰(zhàn)啊
[06:33.85]I love brotherly horseplay!
[06:33.85]我愛兄弟胡鬧!
[06:35.54]Here comes the tickle monster!
[06:35.54]撓癢怪物來啦!
[06:37.55]Noogie patrol!
[06:37.55]揉死你!
[06:39.79]Wait,wait,wait! Timesies! Timesies!
[06:39.79]慢著 慢著 慢著! 暫停! 暫停!
[06:43.25]Cocoa break.
[06:43.25]熱可可時間到了
[06:47.67]Oh,cocoa break.
[06:47.67]哦 熱可可時間
[06:51.14]Okay,it's clobbering time.
[06:51.14]好吧 打架時間到了
[06:53.40]Ted,don't do this; you're a nice guy.
[06:53.40]Ted 別這樣 你是個好人
[06:56.04]That's your best quality.
[06:56.04]這是你最好的品德
[06:57.76]Is it?
[06:57.76]真的嗎?
[06:58.75]'Cause I seem to remember this nice guy getting dumped by his fianc\e for a Tae Kwon Do instructor.
[06:58.75]因為我看到這個老好人被未婚妻甩了 投奔到跆拳道教練那兒去了
[07:03.23]Look,this may sound crazy,but I think I need to do this.
[07:03.23]瞧 這很瘋狂 但我想我必須這么做
[07:06.10]I-I think this is an experience I need to have.
[07:06.10]我...我想我需要有這樣的經(jīng)歷
[07:09.86]I'm going.
[07:09.86]吾往矣
[07:14.94]Me,too!
[07:14.94]我也去!
[07:18.57]Guys...
[07:18.57]伙計們...
[07:19.76]take a good look at this face,because the next time you see it,
[07:19.76]好好看看這張臉 因為下次你們再看到它時
[07:22.76]it will be disfigured in the hottest possible way.
[07:22.76]它已經(jīng)被毀成最性感的樣子了
[07:26.66]Because that's who I am-- I'm a man.
[07:26.66]因為我就是這樣的-- 我是一個男子漢
[07:29.79]I like to fight and mix it up and get all dirty.
[07:29.79]我喜歡打架 擺平對方 清理一切
[07:34.39]Can you find a wood hanger for this?
[07:34.39]你能幫我找個木鉤掛起來嗎?
[07:41.12]Whoa,what happened here?
[07:41.12]哇 怎么回事?
[07:42.56]I know,right?
[07:42.56]我就知道 對吧?
[07:43.75]Who's not looking at my toupee now,huh?
[07:43.75]現(xiàn)在誰還敢不看我的假發(fā) 哈?
[07:46.54]- Look what we did to these guys! - We?
[07:46.54]- 瞧瞧咱們給他們好看! - 咱們?
[07:48.32]Yeah,"we." Come on,man,we're a good team.
[07:48.32]沒錯 "咱們" 來吧 伙計 我們合作得不錯
[07:51.51]Nice work boys! We did it!
[07:51.51]干得好 小子! 我們贏了!
[07:53.33]No,no,no,you did it. We didn't do anything.
[07:53.33]不 不 不 是你干的 我們啥也沒做
[07:55.96]Okay,yeah,yeah,sure,I just beat up three guys by myself.
[07:55.96]好吧 沒錯 當然了 我一個人把他們?nèi)蚺苛?br /> [08:00.75]You guys. That's good.
[08:00.75]伙計們 太棒了
[08:01.97]You and you-- free drinks for life.
[08:01.97]你 還有你--終身免費喝酒
[08:11.09]He thinks we were in this fight with him.
[08:11.09]他認為我們幫他打架了
[08:13.06]We were in this fight with him.
[08:13.06]我們確實幫他打架了
[08:15.87]And now we are going to go in there and tell everyone the legendary tale of how we beat up some guys.
[08:15.87]現(xiàn)在 我們回到屋里 告訴大家 我們把這些家伙撂倒的傳奇過程
[08:20.98]And everyone is going to think it's great and everyone is going to sleep with me again.
[08:20.98]大家都會覺得這真太帥了 排著隊來和我上床
[08:24.78]Dude,come on,no one is gonna believe we were in a fight-- look at us.
[08:24.78]伙計 得了 沒人會相信我們打架了的 --瞧瞧我們身上
[08:28.02]Oh,that's a good...
[08:28.02]哦 打得好...
[08:30.96]What are you doing?
[08:30.96]你干嘛啊?
[08:31.82]What I should've done a long time ago.
[08:31.82]干我早該干的事
[08:33.64]- What? - I don't know,I just hit myself in the eye!
[08:33.64]- 什么? - 我也不知道 我剛打了自己的眼睛!
[08:36.11]I don't even know what I'm saying--
[08:36.11]我甚至都不知自己在說什么了
[08:39.51]I throw an awesome right hook,by the way.
[08:39.51]我使出了完美的右勾拳 順帶一提
[08:41.75]- Okay,are you ready? - To go back in?
[08:41.75]- 好了 你準備好了沒? - 回屋去嗎?
[08:43.67]No,for this.
[08:43.67]不 接我一拳
[08:47.61]God! You just punched me in the nose!
[08:47.61]天啊! 你剛打了我的鼻子!
[08:49.46]Are you crying?
[08:49.46]你哭啦?
[08:50.36]Yes,I'm crying!
[08:50.36]沒錯 我哭了!
[08:51.48]You just punched me in the nose!
[08:51.48]你剛打了我的鼻子!
[08:53.86]Oh,that's going to swell up real good.
[08:53.86]哦 這腫的形狀真可愛
[08:55.14]You're going to look like Owen Wilson.
[08:55.14]你看著像Owen Wilson (大鼻子演員)
[08:56.60]Okay,let's get back in there.
[08:56.60]好了 咱回屋里去吧
[08:57.59]Okay,but just,let's just play this down,okay?
[08:57.59]好的 但是低調(diào)一點 好吧?
[08:59.70]I don't want this to turn into a big thing.
[08:59.70]我不想搞得轟轟烈烈的
[09:03.98]and takes his shoe off! Hits him in the mouth... Hey,there they are!
[09:03.98]然后把鞋子脫了! 打他的嘴... 嘿 他們回來了!
[09:08.15]The guys that got my back!
[09:08.15]幫了我一把的戰(zhàn)友!
[09:22.91]You two got in a fight. Really?
[09:22.91]你倆打架啦 真的?
[09:25.87]Uh,no,Barney punched me and himself in the face to make it look like we got in a fight.
[09:25.87]沒有 Barney給我和他自己各一拳 看著像是我們打架了
[09:29.51]Come on,Marshall!
[09:29.51]夠了 Marshall!
[09:31.99]Wow,look at your eye.
[09:31.99]哇 瞧瞧你的眼睛
[09:34.74]You look like a badass.
[09:34.74]你看起來像個壞家伙
[09:37.30]I'm surprised to see you had it in me.
[09:37.30]我真驚訝從我心底看到了壞壞你
[09:39.06]You. Had it in you.
[09:39.06]呃...是從你心底 看到了你自己
[09:42.63]Do you... want to touch it?
[09:42.63]你...想摸摸嗎?
[09:49.69]Oh,my God,it's warm!
[09:49.69]哦 天啊 還是暖的!
[09:53.95]Victory drinks!
[09:53.95]慶功之酒!
[09:55.90]Free! Free! Free! Free!
[09:55.90]免費！免費！免費！免費！
[10:00.25]7.50
[10:00.25]盛惠7.5美元
[10:02.60]Why do I have to pay?
[10:02.60]為啥我要給錢?
[10:03.95]'Cause you don't got my back. These guys got my back.
[10:03.95]因為你沒有陪我打架 他們可是跟我并肩作戰(zhàn)的
[10:07.34]You know what,Doug? I will gladly pay. And you know why?
[10:07.34]好吧 Doug 我給得心甘情愿 知道為啥不?
[10:09.93]Because that's what grownups do.
[10:09.93]因為這才是成年人做的事
[10:11.60]They pay for their drinks,and they don't get into fights.
[10:11.60]喝酒給錢 而且不打架
[10:14.35]You know what I was doing,while you guys were out there being immature?
[10:14.35]當你們在外面打架的時候 知道我在干嘛嗎?
[10:16.65]- I'll tell you what I was doing. - Your nails?
[10:16.65]- 讓我告訴你們吧 - 修指甲?
[10:19.92]No.I was doing--
[10:19.92]不是 我在--
[10:21.08]The relationship quiz in this month's Cosmo?
[10:21.08]做Cosmo雜志上的情感測試?
[10:23.71]No.I was doing--
[10:23.71]當然不是 我在--
[10:24.94]Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City movie?
[10:24.94]看欲望都市看到 Big重回Carrie身邊時強忍住不哭?
[10:28.91]- No. - Spoilers much?
[10:28.91]- 不是 - 別那么損好不好?
[10:30.72]No. I'll tell you what I was doing--
[10:30.72]才不是呢 讓我告訴你們吧 我在--
[10:32.80]The captain of the football team because he gave you his promise ring
[10:32.80]穿著露背晚裝在返校節(jié)上 美美的向橄欖球隊長獻身
[10:35.56]and you look so pretty in your open back Homecoming dress?
[10:35.56]因為他拿著戒指跟你求婚?
[10:41.42]Sorry.
[10:41.42]對不起
[10:44.03]I hate those guys!
[10:44.03]那些家伙太討厭了!
[10:45.78]Acting like they're the manliest guys in the universe,
[10:45.78]裝作好像宇宙間 最有男子氣概的人那樣
[10:48.06]like they're Crocodile Dundee and David Hasselhoff.
[10:48.06]裝什么鱷魚鄧迪 海岸救護隊的David Hasselhoff
[10:51.62]Those are the manliest guys in the universe?
[10:51.62]他們很有男子氣概嗎?
[10:53.76]I don't understand why they're getting all this attention.
[10:53.76]真的不知道他們怎么會這么受歡迎?
[10:55.69]I mean,I'm the real hero here.
[10:55.69]我是說 我才是真英雄呢
[10:57.95]Mm,yeah,you are.
[10:57.95]沒錯 你真是個英雄
[10:59.52]I'm serious,woman. Put it back in your pants.
[10:59.52]我是說真的 婆娘 把腿挪開
[11:03.56]Marshall,you're the man every boy should grow up to become and every girl should marry.
[11:03.56]Marshall 你才是男孩子的學習榜樣 女孩子的夢中情人
[11:10.65]You know what?
[11:10.65]你知道嗎?
[11:12.02]I have two kids in my class who won't stop fighting.
[11:12.02]我班里有兩個整天打架的孩子
[11:14.55]If you come to school tomorrow and tell them your story of choosing the path of nonviolence,
[11:14.55]如果你明天能來我們班 跟他們講一下今晚你反對暴力的故事
[11:19.24]it might really set them strait.
[11:19.24]或許會讓他們醒悟過來
[11:21.50]And save me having to get up early to make a lesson plan.
[11:21.50]我還不用早起備課了呢
[11:25.60]All right. Okay. I'll set them straight.
[11:25.60]好吧 就這么定了 我要讓他們醒悟
[11:29.23]- You're a wuss. - What? No!
[11:29.23]- 你真是個軟腳蝦 - 啥?才不呢!
[11:32.95]Mahatma Panda and Martin Luther Koala are telling you kids this story to illustrate--
[11:32.95]熊貓Mahatma 跟考拉Martin Luther的故事告訴你們--
[11:37.16]To illustrate that you're a wuss?
[11:37.16]告訴我們說你是個軟腳蝦?
[11:39.70]Why didn't you just fight those guys?
[11:39.70]你怎么不直接揍翻那些家伙呢?
[11:42.00]Were you scared?
[11:42.00]你害怕了嗎?
[11:43.73]What? Pssht! No! I wasn't scared!
[11:43.73]啥玩意兒? 沒可能 我才不會害怕呢!
[11:48.30]I've been in plenty of fights,okay?
[11:48.30]我可是個打架王 知道不?
[11:50.17]You're huge!
[11:50.17]你身型很巨大啊
[11:51.56]You must weigh like a thousand pounds.
[11:51.56]肯定有一千磅重吧
[11:55.10]Okay,first of all,I'm wearing a baggy sweater,and it has horizontal stripes.
[11:55.10]第一 我今天穿的衣服比較肥大 還是橫紋的
[12:01.76]And I also-- and I had a salty lunch...
[12:01.76]我還--我今天的午飯吃得比較咸
[12:03.78]And so I'm retain-- You know what? Shut up!
[12:03.78]而且我還沒-- 算了 閉嘴!
[12:06.00]Wuss!
[12:06.00]軟腳蝦!
[12:14.26]Wow,so,you just beat those guys up?
[12:14.26]你們就這么揍了他們?
[12:18.30]Just?
[12:18.30]就這么?
[12:20.20]Oh,Amanda,were it so simple.
[12:20.20]Amanda 可沒這么簡單的
[12:22.73]You see,hand to hand combat is about so much more than
[12:22.73]知道嗎 徒手格斗不單單是
[12:26.19]just administering brute force on your opponent,right B?
[12:26.19]把拳頭狠狠地 揮到你對手臉上就行的了 是不? B
[12:29.05]You know it!
[12:29.05]可不是
[12:30.49]It's a science.
[12:30.49]這可是一種拳術(shù)
[12:32.69]The sweet science,as it were.
[12:32.69]考究的藝術(shù)哦
[12:35.09]Wait,I'm confused,what did those guys do to deserve it?
[12:35.09]等等 我想問一下 那些家伙干了什么?
[12:38.60]- Well,this may sound petty,but they sat in ourooth. - They sat in our booth.
[12:38.60]- 都是些小事情 他們坐了我們的專座 - 他們坐了我們的專座
[12:44.36]- And nobody... - Nobody.
[12:44.36]- 沒人可以... - 沒有任何人
[12:46.06]sits in our booth.
[12:46.06]可以坐我們的專座
[12:51.93]Are you going to beat those guys up?
[12:51.93]你們要揍翻他們嗎?
[12:58.29]yes,we are going to beat those guys up. Ted,come on.
[12:58.29]當然 揍翻那些家伙 Ted 上
[13:04.71]You two. Our booth. Get out. Now!
[13:04.71]你們兩個 這是我們的專座 滾 立刻滾!
[13:08.87]What are you doing?
[13:08.87]你在干嘛?
[13:10.05]Relax,we got Doug. Big Doug's got our backs.
[13:10.05]放寬心吧 有Doug在 他會幫我們撐場的
[13:11.93]Yeah,Doug's not here tonight.
[13:11.93]想得美 今晚Doug不在
[13:14.17]Can I get you guys anything? Drinks? Cash?
[13:14.17]有什么可以效勞的嗎? 要喝的? 要錢?
[13:16.32]Those two girls over there?
[13:16.32]還是那邊倆女孩?
[13:18.38]Are you Ted Mosby?
[13:18.38]你就是Ted Mosby?
[13:19.98]Um,uh,yeah,I am.
[13:19.98]沒錯 我就是
[13:22.14]And you're Barney Stinson?
[13:22.14]而你就是Barney Stinson?
[13:23.92]They've heard of us.
[13:23.92]他們聽過我們的威名
[13:25.57]It's cool,guys.
[13:25.57]沒事兒 伙計
[13:26.70]We'll,uh,let you leave with your asses unkicked.
[13:26.70]呃... 乖乖滾出去 我們不會為難你們的
[13:30.13]This time.
[13:30.13]下不為例了!
[13:31.91]A'ight?
[13:31.91]知道不?
[13:34.59]What's,uh,what's this?
[13:34.59]這--這是啥?
[13:36.29]- You've been served. - You're being sued for assault.
[13:36.29]- 你們有的受了 - 告你們傷人
[13:39.91]Enjoy your booth.
[13:39.91]好好享受你們的專座吧
[13:47.25]That was close.
[13:47.25]九死一生啊
[13:52.76]Assault! They're suing us for assault!
[13:52.76]傷人! 他們要告我們傷人!
[13:55.29]Okay,well,what's the penalty for assault?
[13:55.29]傷人罰什么的?
[13:57.76]What,do I have to pay a fine?
[13:57.76]怎么了 要罰款嗎?
[13:59.29]Pick up trash on the highway?
[13:59.29]還是罰在高速公路撿垃圾?
[14:00.97]'Cause I've done that before,know what I me?
[14:00.97]我以前高速公路上可撿過不少好東西呢 知道什么意思吧?
[14:03.64]I don't know.
[14:03.64]我不知道
[14:04.84]Actually,he did know that the worst we were looking at was a small civil settlement,
[14:04.84]實際上 他知道這事最多是個民事糾紛
[14:08.61]and probably no criminal charges.
[14:08.61]沒什么可能構(gòu)成刑事罪
[14:10.35]But he was really pissed at us.
[14:10.35]可他對我們真的很生氣
[14:12.03]I mean,you guys could be looking at some serious prison time.
[14:12.03]我是說 你們很可能 要在監(jiān)獄度過一段時間了
[14:15.26]- Prison? - I can't go to prison!
[14:15.26]- 監(jiān)獄? - 我不想去監(jiān)獄!
[14:18.09]I mean,I could get a lot of reading done,finally write some short stories.
[14:18.09]我還有那么多書要讀呢 我沒準還能寫點短篇小說呢
[14:22.15]Work out all the time.
[14:22.15]要不就健身也行
[14:23.64]Seriously,if I don't come out there completely ripped--
[14:23.64]說真的 如果我還能活著從里面出來的話
[14:25.24]Ted,we can't go to prison!
[14:25.24]Ted 我們不能進監(jiān)獄!
[14:28.23]People get shivved in the joint!
[14:28.23]不死也要掉層皮的!
[14:31.17]Plus the meals are really starchy.
[14:31.17]而且那里的伙食很爛
[14:34.00]Well,you guys should have thought of that before you bt up those guys.
[14:34.00]你們跟人打架時應該好好想想后果
[14:39.80]What if we didn't?
[14:39.80]如果我們沒有呢?
[14:41.40]- Didn't what,Ted? - Didn't beat up those guys.
[14:41.40]- 沒有什么? Ted - 沒有打他們
[14:43.24]What if Doug beat up tho guys all by himself and we didn't do anything?
[14:43.24]如果是Doug一個人揍翻那些家伙的 我們完全沒動過手呢?
[14:45.98]I knew it!
[14:45.98]我就知道!
[14:47.34]I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
[14:47.34]我就知道! 我就知道! 我就知道!
[14:49.39]You guys didn't throw a single punch.
[14:49.39]你們倆一拳都沒出過
[14:51.41]Well,I hit Ted and myself,so...
[14:51.41]事實上 我給了Ted跟我自己一拳 所以...
[14:54.20]Well,who's the wuss now?
[14:54.20]看看現(xiàn)在誰才是軟腳蝦?
[14:56.52]Answer: You guys.
[14:56.52]答案是:你們倆
[14:58.52]Look,can you just help us get out of this?
[14:58.52]聽著 你就不可以先幫幫我們嗎?
[15:00.41]You know the old expression:
[15:00.41]有句老話說得好:
[15:01.79]If you're not prepared to do the time don't pretend to do the crime
[15:01.79]沒有金剛鉆 別攬瓷器活兒
[15:04.67]and laugh and get free drinks and not stand up for your friend who,
[15:04.67]你們還要又唱又笑喝著免費啤酒 還陰陽怪氣的嘲笑
[15:08.51]incidentally,has been in plenty of fights with his brothers.
[15:08.51]你們事實上以前整天跟他兄弟練手的朋友
[15:14.17]Look,you've got to help us out,Marshall.
[15:14.17]聽著 你可要幫幫我們 Marshall
[15:16.89]We're the Three Musketeers!
[15:16.89]我們可是三劍客啊!
[15:19.51]If I give up Ted,how much time am I looking at?
[15:19.51]如果我出賣Ted的話 我要坐多久?
[15:22.58]Hey,guys!
[15:22.58]嘿 伙計們!
[15:26.01]Barney,I've been looking for you.
[15:26.01]Barney 我正找你呢
[15:30.07]I got,uh,tickets to this hockey game tonight. It's stupid.
[15:30.07]我有 呃--今晚的曲棍球賽的票 我有點傻哈
[15:33.53]You want to go?
[15:33.53]有興趣嗎?
[15:34.80]It might go kind of late,so,maybe,after the game we can grab a drink.
[15:34.80]估計會挺晚的 所以... 看完比賽后我們可以去喝點東西
[15:37.92]Oh,hey,Robin,get this. You know that fight?
[15:37.92]嘿 Robin 聽著 記得那場打斗不?
[15:42.03]These guys faked the whole thing.
[15:42.03]他們騙人的
[15:49.96]Oh,I forgot! Tonight is no good.
[15:49.96]我忘了! 今晚不方便啊
[15:53.50]I uh,I can't go to that hockey game tonight,I got that,uh...
[15:53.50]我--我今晚去不了曲棍球賽了 我要 呃...
[15:58.62]That,uh...
[15:58.62]我要 呃...
[16:01.33]that,uh...
[16:01.33]我要 呃...
[16:04.61]That,uh...
[16:04.61]我要 呃...
[16:08.29]That,uh... That,uh...
[16:08.29]我要 呃... 我要 呃...
[16:16.45]Good news-- I talked to the guys.
[16:16.45]好消息--我跟那些家伙談好了
[16:18.75]What guys?
[16:18.75]什么人?
[16:19.46]The guys you didn't beat up.
[16:19.46]沒有被你們揍翻的家伙
[16:20.90]They agreed to drop the lawsuit. Boom! Lawyered.
[16:20.90]他們決定撤訴了 砰! 律師的威力
[16:24.36]What? They agreed to drop it?
[16:24.36]啥? 他們同意撤訴了?
[16:25.90]Yeah,I just explained that you two are wusses.
[16:25.90]沒錯 我只不過 跟他們說你們倆是軟腳蝦而已
[16:29.18]We had a good laugh about that. A good long laugh,actually.
[16:29.18]我們大笑了一通 久久不能停止啊 說真的
[16:31.89]I explained how you get a mani/pedi once a month.
[16:31.89]我跟他們說你們每個月都要去美甲
[16:35.22]Weekly,Wolverine-- some of us care.
[16:35.22]每個星期都去的 密歇根土包子 我可是很注重小節(jié)的
[16:38.07]And how you played the hammer dulcimer in the Pre-Reformation Dance Society at Wesleyan.
[16:38.07]還有你在衛(wèi)斯理大學舞蹈社團 是玩榔頭揚琴的
[16:43.42]Did you at least tell them we were one of the premier Medieval chamber groups in the Little Ivies?
[16:43.42]那你有跟他們說我們是 "小長春藤盟校"的創(chuàng)始學校的一員嗎?
[16:48.15]Oh,I did.
[16:48.15]我說了
[16:49.33]And we all agreed it was much more likely that one guy beat up the three of them
[16:49.33]我們都認為 一個人放倒了他們?nèi)齻€
[16:52.39]than that you two had anything to do with it,so...
[16:52.39]比你們參與了這次毆斗更有可能 所以...
[16:56.17]Wait,so... so now they're only suing Doug.
[16:56.17]等等 這--這么說他們現(xiàn)在只告Doug咯?
[16:58.90]Affirmative.
[16:58.90]毫無疑問
[17:00.77]Angry,irrational,violent Doug,
[17:00.77]亢奮的 野蠻的 暴力的Doug
[17:04.37]who now knows we were the ones who threw him under the bus.
[17:04.37]現(xiàn)在估計已經(jīng)知道是我們出賣了他
[17:08.48]They what?
[17:08.48]他們要怎么我?
[17:10.56]- Look,Doug,we can explain-- - Explain what?
[17:10.56]- 聽著 Doug 我們可以解釋 - 解釋個啥?
[17:13.79]Explain how you stabbed me in the back right to my face?
[17:13.79]解釋你們怎么在我面前背后捅我一刀? (夠有難度的...當面背后捅...)
[17:16.90]- Robin,I'm scared. - Yeah,is Doug seeing anyone?
[17:16.90]- Robin 我好害怕 - 我也是 Doug有跟什么人約會嗎?
[17:20.22]Are you seeing anyone? You really should.
[17:20.22]你有跟人約會嗎? 你真該找個人好好約會去了
[17:22.98]Doug,look,you don't understand,you beat up those guys all by yourself.
[17:22.98]Doug 你不理解 是你自個兒把那些人打倒的
[17:27.28]It's true,all right? They had nothing to do with it.
[17:27.28]這是事實 知道不? 他們與此無關(guān)
[17:29.62]I mean... look at these two.
[17:29.62]我的意思是... 看看他們兩個
[17:34.56]It was all Ted!
[17:34.56]都是Ted干的!
[17:37.59]- Look at this guy. - Yeah,look at me!
[17:37.59]- 看看這家伙 - 沒錯 看看我!
[17:39.76]He wouldn't last five minutes in a fight.
[17:39.76]要他打架的話 五分鐘就趴倒了
[17:41.47]Well,I think I could last at least five--
[17:41.47]我想我至少能堅持五分鐘的--
[17:42.97]He's got the muscle definition of linguini.
[17:42.97]他那些肌肉好像拉面一樣
[17:46.01]Yeah,linguini with meatballs maybe-- check it.
[17:46.01]沒錯 肉丸拉面-- 看著
[17:49.58]- Ted,Ted,don't. - Look!
[17:49.58]- Ted Ted 別這樣 - 瞧瞧!
[17:52.98]Okay,you know what,maybe it was just me.
[17:52.98]好吧 就算在我頭上吧
[17:55.60]Actually,you know what,that makes a lot of sense.
[17:55.60]實際上 還真是那么回事
[17:57.02]I tend to black out a lot.
[17:57.02]我是有點暈暈乎乎的
[17:58.68]Anyway,look,I always got your back.
[17:58.68]無論如何 聽著 我每次都支持你們的
[18:01.93]All I ask in return is that you got mine.
[18:01.93]我只想要你們都支持回我而已
[18:03.85]But you know what? You don't. You can't be counted on.
[18:03.85]可知道不? 你們沒有 你們太不可靠了
[18:09.95]No wonder your fianc\e left you.
[18:09.95]怪不得你未婚妻拋棄你了
[18:12.68]And here it is,kids,the only fight I've ever been in.
[18:12.68]孩子們 這就是我一生中唯一的一次打架
[18:16.10]So what can I share about the experience?
[18:16.10]從中能得到什么教訓呢?
[18:20.84]Well,for starters,when you punch someone in the face,
[18:20.84]這么說吧 你終于動手狠狠一拳打向某人的臉
[18:24.59]it hurts your hand...a lot.
[18:24.59]你的手會很痛...非常痛
[18:30.24]But what hurts even more than that?
[18:30.24]可有什么事是更加痛的呢?
[18:33.34]This.
[18:33.34]那就是...
[18:35.51]And the next thing I remember was waking up.
[18:35.51]接著我就暈倒了 醒來之后...
[18:38.66]Okay,I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing.
[18:38.66]好吧 我熱身完了 大干一場吧
[18:42.68]Turns out getting in a fight was a terrible idea.
[18:42.68]由此看來打架這主意太差了
[18:46.03]And that's my story.
[18:46.03]這就是我的故事
[18:47.90]And what did you learn?
[18:47.90]而你從中學到了什么呢?
[18:49.73]Well,I learned that fighting is bad
[18:49.73]我懂得了打架是不好的
[18:54.18]and you shouldn't do it ever.
[18:54.18]以后都不能再這么干了
[18:56.90]Any questions?
[18:56.90]有沒有問題?
[18:58.88]Yeah,where do you find these people?
[18:58.88]我 你在哪兒找到這些人的?
[19:02.25]I know!
[19:02.25]我知道!
[19:03.49]Was there a big sale at the wuss market?
[19:03.49]是不是軟腳蝦超市大減價呢?
[19:05.83]Wuss! Wuss! Wuss!
[19:05.83]軟腳蝦! 軟腳蝦! 軟腳蝦!
[19:08.86]Of course,I didn't tell those kids what really happened.
[19:08.86]當然 我沒有告訴 這些孩子事情的真相
[19:12.58]Okay,I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing.
[19:12.58]好吧 我熱身完了 大干一場吧
[19:17.56]- What happened? - This happened.
[19:17.56]- 發(fā)生啥事了? - 就這么回事
[19:24.79]Holy crap!
[19:24.79]我的天!
[19:26.76]Yeah,turns out Uncle Marshall and his brothers did a littleore than just roughhouse.
[19:26.76]看來Marshall叔叔和他的兄弟們 不僅僅是打打鬧鬧這么簡單
[19:37.47]Cocoa break!
[19:37.47]熱可可時間
[19:48.02]Marshall looks good. Has he lost weight?
[19:48.02]Marshall看起來不錯 他減肥了?
[19:50.37]Bitch,don't even.
[19:50.37]婊子 別想了
[19:53.56]Kids,I'd love to leave you with the message that fighting is bad and you shouldn't do it,
[19:53.56]孩子們 我想告訴你們打架是不好的 你們不應該打架
[19:57.59]but I knowhat's pointless.
[19:57.59]但我知道這么說很空泛
[19:59.20]So,I'll leave you with this:
[19:59.20]所以我這么說吧
[20:01.10]don't ever get in a fight with Uncle Marshall.
[20:01.10]永遠不要跟你Marshall叔叔打架
[20:03.58]That guy's freaking crazy.
[20:03.58]這家伙是個瘋子
[20:11.09]thankgiving.....
[20:11.09]感恩節(jié)...
[20:10.78]It is so good to be home.
[20:10.78]回家的感覺真好
[20:12.80]Mom,Lily,fantastic job.
[20:12.80]老媽 Lily 這餐飯?zhí)袅?br /> [20:15.55]Good food,good meat,good God,let's eat. Right?
[20:15.55]吃好喝好 上帝好 是不?
[20:18.24]Okay,here we go.
[20:18.24]好 來吧
[20:19.65]Goggles on.
[20:19.65]戴上護目鏡
[20:26.08]Alright,so,you guys pass the plates.
[20:26.08]好 你們都把盤子拿過來
[20:28.66]Lily,you want white or dark meat?
[20:28.66]Lily 你要胸肉還是腿肉?
[20:30.72]Dark! Honey,please be careful.
[20:30.72]腿肉! 親愛的 小心吶