雅思寫作題材解析及習作修改-媒介類

　　“媒介類”顯然是雅思作文的熱點話題，僅2016年上半年就出現(xiàn)4次?？键c及分布如下：

　　1. 廣告的利弊，包括：(1)廣告使人變得同質(zhì)化;(2)廣告影響人們想法以及造成的負面影響;(3)廣告對我們的生活產(chǎn)生的是積極影響還是消極影響;(4)24小時電視轉(zhuǎn)播是好是壞;(5)食品廣告是否應該像煙草廣告那樣被禁止;(6)廣告只是說服人們?nèi)ベI產(chǎn)品而沒有使得產(chǎn)品質(zhì)量有所提高;(7)消費者是否被廣告影響，有什么方法保護他們。

　　2. 媒體對兒童的影響，包括：(1)針對孩子而設計的廣告日漸增多是不是件壞事;(2)兒童對電視的興趣比創(chuàng)造性活動要大，原因是什么，怎么解決?(3)電視播放很多體育節(jié)目，這是否有助于青少年參加運動?

　　3. 新媒體的影響，包括：(1)人們在網(wǎng)上學習工作的優(yōu)缺點;(2)新媒體為什么對現(xiàn)代社會很重要，它們的影響是好是壞;(3)信息能被隨便的傳到網(wǎng)上是否使人們無法獲得準確的信息?(4)互聯(lián)網(wǎng)的出現(xiàn)是否讓圖書館或博物館再無存在的必要?

　　4.其他，包括：(1)我們是否能夠相信記者，一個成功的記者應該有怎樣的品質(zhì);(2)媒體傾向于報道社會問題及緊急情況是否對個人和社會有害;(3)觀看外國電影的人比觀看本地電影的人多的原因以及政府應該怎樣做以支持本地電影業(yè);(4)讀報紙和看電視新聞是否是浪費時間?

　　媒介類話題，有如下觀點可資借鑒：

　　(1)廣告可傳遞信息(informative)，而且設計美觀，可以給我們的生活增添亮色，但廣告往往夸大其辭(exaggerate)，誤導性強(misleading)，從而讓消費者上當受騙。此外，廣告往往通過各種方式制造消費欲望，讓消費者花錢購買很多不必要的商品(buy things they do not really need)，從而引發(fā)一系列社會問題。

　　(2)電視媒體是單向的(one-way communication)，觀眾處于被動接受的位置，因此有可能影響孩子的創(chuàng)造力(creativity)，看電視太多甚至會引發(fā)孩子的性格問題(personality disorder)。

　　(3)網(wǎng)絡加快了我們的信息交流速度，多媒體交流方式更提高了交流效率和效力(efficiency and effectiveness)，但是不見面的交流有可能讓人與人之間的關系變得疏遠(alienated)和冷漠(cold)。

　　(4)因特網(wǎng)能提高我們獲取信息的速度，節(jié)約我們的時間，但這些信息往往是碎片化的(fragmented)，不完整的(incomplete)，甚至是錯誤的(erroneous)，此外，從網(wǎng)上獲取知識缺乏人與人之間的溫度(warmth)，因此我們很難與知識建立起個人感情(personal feeling)，其后果是我們學到了很多硬事實(hard facts)，卻無法對知識產(chǎn)生敬畏感(respect and awe)。

　　雅思“媒介類”題材經(jīng)典考題

　　1. There are many advertisements directed at children, such as snacks, toys and other goods. Parents argue that children are under pressure. Advertisers claim that the advertisements provide useful information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (2016/07/09)

　　2. We can get knowledge from news. But some people even think we should not trust the journalists. What do you think? And what do you think are the important qualities that a journalist should have?(2016/03/05)

　　3. News media has become more influential in people's lives. Some people believe it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(2016/01/23)

　　4. Advertising discourages people from being different individual by making them look the same. Do you agree or disagree? (2015/07/11)

　　雅思“媒介類”題材習作修改

　　題目

　　In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work and communicate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development?

　　習作

　　With the development of the society, Internet becoming more and more popular among people all over the world. Even in recent years, many online shopping makes people’s lives convenient in many aspects. People can go shopping, work and communicate through the Internet without face-to-face contact with others, Internet really changes people’s everyday life.

　　Internet connects people from all over the world. People with different culture can easily contact one another in different countries. In the past, it is extremely difficult for people in different countries to develop an international trade, they usually send letters to confirm the details about the trade and it often costs so much time and takes more inconvenience, but in recent years, with the development of the Internet, people can send an e-mail that others can receive it instantly and it totally decrease the transaction times between these two parties. In the past, we could hardly believe how people can go shopping just online, but now, it really comes true and gives more convenience to people who don’t have the time to shopping outside.

　　Every coin has two sides. Internet also makes people lazy. As we all know, we can do everything through the Internet so that we will not write things by hands or do something personally. Also, there are a lot of bad and harmful information on the Internet and people in lower ages may be easily affected. Even if you are not addicted to the Internet or any other technology, you may be struggling with its enticement.

　　As far as I’m concerned, Internet really gives more convenience to people’s everyday life, but there are also many bad things that will lure people away from morality. Therefore, people should use the Internet properly and make everything in charge.

　　評分：5.5

　　評改

　　本題的核心是：網(wǎng)絡讓人們不再需要面對面交流，這在何種程度上是好事，何種程度上是壞事?這個題目不難，因為我們平時經(jīng)常都在討論這樣的問題。網(wǎng)絡讓我們購物、工作和交流都變得快捷簡單，降低成本，提高效率，但是網(wǎng)絡也帶來了一些問題，那就是人與人之間的關系逐漸演變成人與機器之間的關系，人們的朋友越來越少，因此變得越來越孤獨。因此，這個題目需要論證的就是兩個方面(一定要圍繞網(wǎng)絡與交流之間的關系來討論)：一，網(wǎng)絡給我們的交流帶來的益處;二，網(wǎng)絡讓我們與世界失去真實的聯(lián)系，從而產(chǎn)生了一系列不良的后果。、

　　本學生習作語言比較正確(個別地方表達不清楚)，邏輯也比較順暢。第三段論述網(wǎng)絡的壞處，但與人際交流完全沒有關系，因此嚴格地說，本段寫偏了，因此也影響了得分。

　　第1段：With the development of the society, Internet becoming more and more popular among people all over the world. Even in recent years, many online shopping makes people’s lives convenient in many aspects. People can go shopping, work and communicate through the Internet without face-to-face contact with others, Internet really changes people’s everyday life.

　　[修改] With the development of society, Internet is becoming more and more popular among people all over the world. People can go shopping, work and communicate through Internet without face-to-face contact with others, so Internet has really changed people’s everyday life.

　　[評析] 本段為開頭段，先引出話題，然后重述原文觀點。讓老雅不解的是，為什么在引入句后寫一句 “Even in recent years, many online shopping makes people’s lives convenient in many aspects”。本題目的話題并不是專門針對online shopping，為什么要畫蛇添足這么一句?老雅建議去掉這樣的句子。另外，本段最后兩句是流水句，應該增加連接詞。

　　第2段：Internet connects people from all over the world. People with different culture can easily contact one another in different countries. In the past, it is extremely difficult for people in different countries to develop an international trade, they usually send letters to confirm the details about the trade and it often costs so much time and takes more inconvenience, but in recent years, with the development of the Internet, people can send an e-mail that others can receive it instantly and it totally decrease the transaction times between these two parties. In the past, we could hardly believe how people can go shopping just online, but now, it really comes true and gives more convenience to people who don’t have the time to shopping outside.

　　[修改] Internet connects people from every corner of the world. People with different cultural background can easily contact one another. For example, in the past, it was extremely difficult for people of different countries to develop an international trade. At that time, they confirmed the details of their trade by sending letters to each other, which often cost much time and energy. But nowadays, with the development of the Internet, people can send e-mails that others can receive instantly so that the transaction time is significantly reduced. Decades ago, we could hardly believe that people could buy things they want online, but now, this has come true and made shopping very convenient for people.

　　[評析] 本段論述網(wǎng)絡給人們交流帶來的好處，主要著眼于網(wǎng)絡使人們交流更為容易，更節(jié)約時間。論證時使用了舉例法。(1)all over the world已經(jīng)在第一段中出現(xiàn)，為避免重復，改為every corner of the world，這個改動看起來平淡無奇，但卻避免了重復，讓考官不能在這里找茬扣分。(2)...they usually send letters to confirm the details about the trade and it often costs so much time and takes more inconvenience...一句中，時態(tài)完全是錯亂的，明明講過去(in the past)，卻一直在用一般現(xiàn)在時。老雅有時候非常不解，我們的學生為什么要這樣呢?也許答案還是要歸結到漢語的影響：漢語沒有時態(tài)系統(tǒng)，這就需要我們有意識地去克服漢語語法帶來的負面作用。另外，本句平淡無奇，完全可以改換一下句型，博得考官的好印象：...they confirmed the details of their trade by sending letters to each other, which often cost much time and energy...

　　第3段：Every coin has two sides. Internet also makes people lazy. As we all know, we can do everything through the Internet so that we will not write things by hands or do something personally. Also, there are a lot of bad and harmful information on the Internet and people in lower ages may be easily affected. Even if you are not addicted to the Internet or any other technology, you may be struggling with its enticement.

　　[修改] However, while making it unnecessary for people to communicate face-to-face, Internet may also bring about some negative effects. In the first place, Internet makes people lazy. As we all know, we can do almost everything through Internet so that we do not have to write anything by hand or do anything ourselves. In fact, many of my friends now complain that they cannot spell words correctly. In addition, without face-to-face contact, many people now do not know how to make friends with others, so when they get offline, they feel they are at odds with the real world.

　　[評析] 本段論述網(wǎng)絡對人與人交流造成的負面影響。原文言之無物，同時還脫離了主題(網(wǎng)絡上有很多錯誤信息與人與人交流的主題關系不大)，因此是非常失敗的一個段落。(1) 本段缺乏一個明確的主題句，應增添上。(2)“every coin has two sides” 這樣的短語應在雅思寫作中盡量避免，因為它毫無新意，只能讓考官皺眉頭。

　　第4段：As far as I’m concerned, Internet really gives more convenience to people’s everyday life, but there are also many bad things that will lure people away from morality. Therefore, people should use the Internet properly and make everything in charge.

　　[修改]As far as I’m concerned, Internet does make communication among people more convenient, yet it also has the potential to prevent people from establishing real friendship and thus destroy human relationships. Therefore, we should use Internet properly and try to bring everything under control.

　　[評析] 結尾段完全沒有提及題目的關鍵詞，即“交流”