GRE寫作滿分范文五十五
While the best ideas do indeed arise from mankind's interest in the commonplace, one must realize that the "commonplace ideas" of our current society continue to evolve at such a rapid rate that we are converging on the Twenty-First Century on a wave of thought, ideas, and creation that would surely baffle our forefathers.
Simply put, Thomas Jefferson, a brilliant, and progressive thinker, was motivated to create certain societal services that he felt necessary for his time. Historians report that Mr. Jefferson witnessed a fire which destroyed a man's home. The victim was left with nothing. Mr.Jefferson, thinking it most unfortunate that a man should lose all his worldly posessions, developed a system of homeowners insurance. Of course today, we have taken insurance to a new and all-encompassing level. President Roosevelt adored nature and found great solace while visiting Yosemite in Wyoming. Among his many accomplishments, Rooselvelt, our twenty-sixth President, is perhaps best known for his creation of a National Parks Protection program.
Over time, the basic needs of mankind have been met due to interests in the commonplace mixed with a progressive trait in man to make things simpler, faster, less expensive, and more gratifying.
Today, our "simple thoughts" turn to ideas such as space stations, the technological superhighway, and electric vehicles. Sadly, we must also repair much of the fallout from some of our "commonplace" inspired ideas. For example, evolved transportation has a price as we work to restore our environment.
If we are inspired by the simple motivations, dreams, and tasks of everyday life then we must make a commitment to development our muse. Perhaps, the best way to move ahead is to step back; to re-examine and learn from the art, science, history, love and war of our founding fathers. Perhaps simple is best. After all, that's where all the best ideas are born.
COMMENTARY
This essay presents a competent discussion of the issue. The opening paragraph introduces two ideas that serve as the primary focus of the essay. The first is that, as the topic claims, the best ideas are the result of an interest in commonplace things; the second is that our ideas are evolving at a rate of rapidity that would "surely baffle our forefathers." These two ideas are adequately developed in the course of the paper, but not with enough fluency or complexity to merit a score of 5.
The second paragraph, which considers the way in which ideas arise from an interest in commonplace things, is the most thoroughly developed section of the response. The examples are relevant: Thomas Jefferson, who used everyday observations to come up with the idea of homeowners insurance, and Theodore Roosevelt, whose passionate interest in nature led him to develop the National Parks Protection program.
The essay's other area of focus -- the rapid rate at which our ideas change -- is discussed in the third paragraph. Some good ideas emerge, but, unfortunately, they are not well developed.
The essay is organized with an introduction, three supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization would be stronger if the ideas in one paragraph or section were more clearly connected to the points made in the next section.
While there are some errors, they are not severe enough to interfere with meaning. In general, the writer expresses ideas adequately, although at times the wording seems almost haphazard and therefore a bit confusing: "to re-examine and learn from the art, science, history, love and war of our founding fathers." For reasons of adequate content and adequate presentation of ideas, this essay received a score of 4.
