GRE寫作滿分范文三十

"Our declining environment may bring the people of the world together as no politician, philosopher, or war ever could. Environmental problems are global in scope and respect no nation's boundaries. Therefore, people are faced with the choice of unity and cooperation on the one hand or disunity and a common tragedy on the other."

At no other time then in our present time has the need for unity and togetherness been more necessary to the inhabitants on our planet. For many decades the motto has been one of waste and denial. The world is in a race - racing to become number one - racing to destroy the earth. Traditions of protecting the earth have been abandoned as the need to satisfy infantile needs and desires wins out over the more philosophical desires of thought and meaning. Unfortunately many do not see the need for reforms in actions and thought; people are living for today and not tomorrow. Those that can believe in a future, and exhibit a desire to make a difference in this future must find a way to influence the remaining masses, and often it seems that the world simply refused to listen or learn from its past mistakes.

Those that answer this calling will not do so for notiority, but instead for their beliefs that they can make a difference. They will need to be of strong heart, body, soul, and beliefs. Understanding the need for an overhaul in our system in the rampant abuses is the first step to obtaining advancement in the struggle to bring the world together in a way that will benefit mankind today and tomorrow.

For too many years American's have persuaded themselves that the envirnoment was in no danger. Every year laws have been passed to protect our land, animals, and even our people. More often than not there are loopholes in these laws, allowing the environment to remain in peril. It seems that we often forget that we are not the only ones on earth. We are only a small percentage, and much too often our actions have a great effect on those that must subsist on this earth as well. One threatening example of this is the depletion of the rain forests in the Central and South Americas. It seems difficult for Americans to understand how these people can destroy their natural landscapes. Not only is the landscaped destroyed and the invaluable plants and animal life are also destroyed, and these can never be recovered. Americans express their annoyance at such practices, failing to see that we as consumers are one of the main causes of such actions. As a consumer society we depend on wood and other materials from these areas. Unfortunately these areas are nothing like what we see at home, instead it is a world of unimaginable poverty and harshness. In these areas where poverty is so prevalent often the only means of survival is found through the clearing of the precious rain forest for farm land. Certainly the fact that these people are farming in order to maintain their survival is important and can not be over looked. Yet, in most cases the farming is not done as a means of raising food and livestock for their own uses. This land is usually used to grow food for other countries such as America. This scenario depicts the wickedness that has become of our world. The first world nations are destroying the second and third world nations in order to fuel our excessive desires.

The world must find a way to come together so that there will be a tomorrow for everyone. New legislation must be passed that protects not only the environment of America, but the environments of other countries. Big business must also realize that they can no longer use dirty legislation and kickbacks to continue to pollute the earth.

Another important aspect that people must learn is that if we cannot learn to recycle and reduce waste, one day we will run out of dumping ground. It is frightening to think that this is what it will to take to make most people realize that actions must be taken to clean up our earth. It seems that we will only be able to come together when there is not other alternative. Perhaps the must unfathomable thought is, what happens if people do not unite together now to protect our environment. It can only seem that we will once again be threatened with war as we fight each other to death over the last precious miles of land and food. Civilization will have come full circle; all of our technological and scientific advances will mean nothing if the earth is destroyed and mankind subsequently wiped out with it

Comments:

This is a generally well-developed response in which the writer examines the complexities of the issue and explains ideas clearly through good control of the elements of effective writing.

The writer strongly agrees with the topic's claim and uses the first paragraph to expand on the idea that environmental problems imperil the earth. These problems, according to the writer, derive from people's lack of maturity ("infantile needs and desires") and lack of foresight ("people are living for today and not tomorrow.")

The third paragraph provides a highly relevant example of the complexities involved in the issue, showing how damage to the rainforest can be attributed both to poverty in Latin America and to the voracious appetite of the wealthy North American "consumer society." From here the writer returns to the focus on planning for "tomorrow" and proposes a specific remedy ("New legislation must be passed?") The discussion closes with a passionate description of a negative scenario for the future.

The response is well organized but, unlike a 6 paper, does not sustain a tight focus. Although the example of the rain forest degradation is highly relevant and fully developed, many of the reasons and assertions receive only cursory development or explanation ("new legislation must be passed? It can only seem that we will once again be threatened with war?").

The sentence structure in the essay is often nicely varied but at other times is choppy ("This land is?" "This scenario depicts?" "The first world nations?") Thus, the connection between ideas is also choppy at times.

The vocabulary is generally well chosen, with words such as "depletion," "unfathomable," and "subsequently." However, the phrasing is at times imprecise, as in these examples: "We are only a small percentage," and "At no other time then in our present time has the need??? been more necessary?" Although these problems keep the paper out of the 6 category, it is nevertheless a strong response to the topic.