1、Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way.
Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.
Agree to say that表達中式化,只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改為the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(學校給我們提供了獲取書本知識的最好方法)更為恰當 ,同樣后面的the best surviving techniques改為the best method for acquiring common sense,加上street marks(街頭智慧)給文章的GRE詞匯增添色彩。
2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wife and daughter.
Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.
原句中studying education and communication的說法中式化,不符合英語的表述,應該為studying,educating themselves。除了詞語表達,此句中還存在其他問題,如名詞單復數(shù)的使用:不是提高他們的角色,而是提高他們自身以扮演好母親角色。
還有,女性不止一個人。很多人都在扮演母親角色,role和mother應用復數(shù),故將improve their role as a mother改為improve themselves in their roles as mother;同樣,為保持一致,wife和daughter也可用復數(shù),原文中wife的復數(shù)寫法有誤,應該是wives。
3、Original:If you can get the point of communication by watching TV,will you...?
Revised:If one can learn about communicating from television,will you...?
原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表達不清,讓人難以理解,應該是指“從電視上學習交際”:learn about communicating from television.
以上幾種常見的中式英文的寫作現(xiàn)象,希望各位考生都能夠有所了解,并結合平時的練習準備學會避免這種思維方式和表達上的中式英文,寫出真正地道的GRE作文,拿到作文高分。