GRE作文范文 Argument-23

The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.

嘉文博譯Sample Essay

"One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly."

In this argument, the letter writer argues that the high schools in his or her city should begin classes at 8:30 a.m. rather than 7:30 a.m. and end the school day an hour later. The writer cites as reasons two separate studies: one indicating that adolescents need more sleep than they have been getting and the other showing that many high school students in this city are dissatisfied with their academic performance. The writer further argues that starting classes an hour earlier will make students more alert and productive, thus leading to better performance on tests and other assignments with a significant improvement in academic skills. The argument sounds good, but it is based on problematic reasoning and is therefore unconvincing.

First of all, the writer is combining two separate and unrelated research studies to arrive at his or her conclusion. There is no correlation demonstrated between the two studies. The writer simply assumes the relationship between the two studies for the sake of his or her argument without any evidence that the two are in fact related.

Furthermore, the writer states that many high school students are dissatisfied with their own academic performance. The writer does not state the number of students that are actually dissatisfied - how many is "many"? It is only natural that unless the students are at the top of their classes and receiving perfect marks, they will be dissatisfied with their academic performance. Citing this rather vague idea of dissatisfaction with academic performance does not advance the writer's argument.

Additionally, by beginning classes an hour later, it may give the students an extra hour of sleep but it does not automatically mean that they will be more alert or productive. As just one example, the students may stay up an hour later at night and be just as tired and non-alert as they were when classes began at 7:30 a.m. Even assuming that the students would be more alert and productive during the day, this does not necessarily equate to better performance on tests or other assignments or any significant improvement in academic skills. It takes more work on the students' part than just being more alert and productive - they must study harder to improve academic performance. Starting the school day one hour later does not necessarily transform poorly performing students into brilliantly performing ones.

In summary, the writer's argument is based on faulty logic. Simply starting the school day one hour later does not mean that the students will do better on their exams and assignments or become more skilled academically. To strengthen the argument, the writer should provide evidence that the two studies are related, and that an extra hour of sleep in the morning would actually benefit the students in their studies. Without such proof, the writer is attempting to apply to separate and unrelated studies to the student's situation. The result is an unpersuasive argument, because it simply does not follow that beginning classes at 8:30 a.m. rather than 7:30 a.m. will make students more alert and productive. Even assuming that they would be more alert and productive, it again does not necessarily indicate that they would do better on tests and assignments, nor that they would significantly improve their academic skills.

(589 words)

參考譯文

下述文字摘自一封致某家市報(bào)的信函：

"最近一項(xiàng)調(diào)查研究表明，許多青少年需要得到比他們現(xiàn)在更多的睡眠;另一項(xiàng)調(diào)查表明，我市許多高中生實(shí)際上對(duì)他們自己的學(xué)業(yè)并不滿(mǎn)意。作為解決這些問(wèn)題的方法，我市高中應(yīng)該在上午8:30開(kāi)始上課，晚一個(gè)小時(shí)放學(xué)。這一安排將在早晨給學(xué)生提供多一個(gè)小時(shí)的睡眠，從而使他們更精力充沛、學(xué)習(xí)更加有效。這樣，學(xué)生將在考試和其他作業(yè)上表現(xiàn)得更好，他們的學(xué)業(yè)將會(huì)極大地改觀。"

在這段論證中，信函作者說(shuō)到，其市的高中應(yīng)該在上午8:30而非7:30開(kāi)始上課并推遲一小時(shí)放學(xué)。作者引用兩個(gè)不相關(guān)的調(diào)查作為理由：一個(gè)調(diào)查表明青少年需要比他們實(shí)際睡眠時(shí)間更多的睡眠，另一項(xiàng)調(diào)查顯示該市的許多高中生對(duì)他們的學(xué)業(yè)不滿(mǎn)意。作者進(jìn)一步聲稱(chēng)，晚一個(gè)小時(shí)上課會(huì)使學(xué)生更精力充沛、學(xué)習(xí)更有效，從而使學(xué)生在考試和其他作業(yè)上表現(xiàn)更佳，會(huì)極大地增進(jìn)學(xué)業(yè)。此論證聽(tīng)起來(lái)似乎合情合理，但是它的基礎(chǔ)卻是錯(cuò)誤的推論，因而是不能令人信服的。 首先，作者把兩個(gè)彼此分離的、沒(méi)有聯(lián)系的調(diào)查研究放在一起以便得出他/她的結(jié)論。作者沒(méi)能在兩項(xiàng)調(diào)查之間證明有任何的聯(lián)系。作者只是假設(shè)了兩者間存在著某種關(guān)系來(lái)支持他/她的論證，但并沒(méi)有提出任何證據(jù)說(shuō)明兩者真有聯(lián)系。 再者，作者說(shuō)到，許多高中生對(duì)他們自己的學(xué)業(yè)不滿(mǎn)意。作者并沒(méi)有說(shuō)明不滿(mǎn)意的學(xué)生的數(shù)目--多少是"許多"呢?自然，除非學(xué)生在班里名列前茅而且成績(jī)優(yōu)秀，否則，他們都會(huì)對(duì)自己的學(xué)業(yè)不滿(mǎn)意。引用這一含混不清的學(xué)業(yè)不滿(mǎn)意作為例證，并不能增強(qiáng)作者的論點(diǎn)。

此外，晚一個(gè)小時(shí)上課，可以讓學(xué)生多睡一小時(shí)，但這并不自然而然地意味著他們會(huì)更精力充沛或?qū)W習(xí)更有效率。例如，學(xué)生晚上晚睡一小時(shí)，他們就會(huì)與7:30上課時(shí)一樣沒(méi)精打采。即使我們假設(shè)學(xué)生在白天會(huì)更精力充沛、學(xué)習(xí)更有效率，但這并不必然等于他們會(huì)在考試和其他作業(yè)上做得更好，或者在學(xué)業(yè)上會(huì)有很大進(jìn)步。要做到那些需要學(xué)生更多的付出，而不僅僅是更精力充沛、學(xué)習(xí)效率更高--他們必須更努力地學(xué)習(xí)來(lái)改進(jìn)學(xué)業(yè)。晚一個(gè)小時(shí)上課并不必定能把表現(xiàn)不好的學(xué)生改變成表現(xiàn)優(yōu)秀的學(xué)生。

總之，作者的論證是基于錯(cuò)誤的邏輯。單單晚一個(gè)小時(shí)上課并不意味著學(xué)生在考試和做作業(yè)時(shí)會(huì)有更佳的表現(xiàn)，也并不意味著他們會(huì)在學(xué)業(yè)上更棒。要使其論證更有力度，作者應(yīng)該提供證據(jù)證明這兩項(xiàng)調(diào)查是相關(guān)的，以及早晨多睡一小時(shí)會(huì)有利于學(xué)生的學(xué)習(xí)。沒(méi)有這樣的證據(jù)，作者只是試圖把彼此無(wú)關(guān)的調(diào)查研究強(qiáng)行應(yīng)用于學(xué)生的實(shí)際境況。結(jié)果只能是一篇不能令人信服的論辯，因?yàn)樗荒苷f(shuō)明在8:30而不是在7:30上課將會(huì)使學(xué)生更精力充沛、學(xué)習(xí)效率更高。即使我們假定學(xué)生會(huì)更精力充沛、學(xué)習(xí)效率更高，那也并不能必然地說(shuō)明他們?cè)诳荚嚭妥鳂I(yè)上能更加出色，更不能說(shuō)明他們可極大地改進(jìn)學(xué)業(yè)。