GRE作文 ETS官方Issue主題范文(二)

3、

The values of society have have changed so much during most recent years.  Many of these values have changed for the worst.  The media has been the vehicle that has taken us through these changes.  The media has created so many avenues for us to take to find so many of these changes.  They have created the avenues that children and young adults feel that they have to take.

 

Many years ago reporters and writers were telling us of all the good things that were happening in the world.  You could walk into a store and eventhough there was a war going on, we would read about the soldier that left his family to fight for his country.  Nowadays you walk into a store, read a book , or watch a T.V. show, and see all of the things that are happening in a very negative world.

 

The media is creating a society that sayt that it is O.K. for a man to wear earrings.  That it is O.K. that marijuana is being legalized, that it is O.K. for juveniles to break the law.  Why does not the media show us a professional male athlete that is also a family man?  Why doesn't the author of a book or a reporter of a newspaper tell us about all of the bad things that happen to drug users and pushers?  Why do the T.V. shows tell juveniles that all they get for breaking the law is a slap on the hands?

　

 

Society will be better off if the media would say, "Hey children, professional  athletes can be good parents"!   This would have a positive effect on the younger generation.

 

The media should do a better job in trying to create a good, healthy environment instead of showing us all of the bad stuff in our society.  The media should show all young people the awful things that happen in juvenile hall, but that would be an infringement on the residents of the hall. Where are the rights of the people that they did not treat right?

The internet is really just  the world's largest commercial launched under the veil of access of useful information.  It will be interesting to see just how  this new network that has brought the world together will affect our values.  These are just examples but I think they are effective at making my point.  I think they serve to illistrate that the media can in fact change our values.   As for me, I'll be out back smoking a  Don Lino,  on a beautiful trout stream while sipping a cold beer, waiting for the trout to rise and hoping a couple of those girls from the Coors commercial show up.

 

評價

 

This is a well-developed response.  The four-paragraph organizational structure serves as a useful framework for the writer to develop a position on the issue.

 

The opening paragraph presents the writer's position ("media in fact tend to create values in a society") and announces the plan to present two examples to support that position.

 

As promised, two examples (music and advertising) follow in the next two paragraphs.  The discussion of these examples is focused, relevant, and clear.  Using vivid details and an emphatic writing style, the writer shows how music (especially rap and gansta music) and advertising (especially cigarette ads) have negatively influenced American values.

 

The final paragraph is an extension of the advertising example, focusing on the Internet as part of the advertising system.  While the writer does little more than speculate on the influence that the Internet might have, this point does lead the reader to the writer's lively conclusion.  The vivid picture of the writer enjoying the media-defined good life ("smoking a Don Lino??? while sipping a cold beer") effectively illustrates the writer's position that the media do, indeed, influence people in our society.

 

Overall, the reasoning is persuasive and the examples are well chosen, but the argument lacks the insight and cogency necessary for a score of 6.

 

The ideas in the essay are expressed clearly, although precision of language is not a strong feature.  Sentences are generally well formed, often adding "punch" to the writer's views.  Some sentences are unnecessary, especially those that belabor the obvious ("These are just examples but I think they are effective at making my point.  I think they serve to illistrate that the media can in fact change our values.")  Overall, however, the writing is representative of a 5 essay.