Graduation Day
by Mary Ann Detzler
Today Cathy will be going to kindergarten. Cathy is my youngest and I am feeling nostalgic. If I had the courage to admit it, I'd say I'm feeling sad and a little scared. Why am I feeling this way? I didn't feel sad when Renata, her older sister, went to school. Why, I was excited and rejoiced about her new freedom.
It seems like yesterday that Cathy was such a quiet, contented baby. She was always a real joy to have around. She played quietly with her stuffed animals or our family dog. She and the dog loved to hide together under the blanket tent I'd throw over the big lounger chair.
Her life and mind would dramatically change now. She would be part of the world out there. I would have a harder time protecting her from the bumps and scrapes of life.
Perhaps I was being overprotective now because Cathy had been diagnosed at three as having a rare disease. No one but the family knew or even saw anything different about her.
I'm about to leave the kitchen to awaken Cathy for her big day. But here she comes, all bright eyes and smiles, dressed in new red plaid skirt and blouse. She gives me a big hug as we say our good mornings.
"Good morning, you're up early!" I greet her.
"Morning, Mom," is mumbled into my apron because of her big hug. "See Mom, I got dressed all by myself and even brushed my hair." She proudly twirls a pirouette to show me.
"But I can't put this ribbon in my hair." She hands me the brush, rubber band and red ribbon. I am amazed at how efficient she is this particular morning.
As I tend to her hair and ribbon, I ask her once more, "Would you like me to walk you to school this first day?"
I get the same answer as yesterday, "No, Mom, I can find my way all by myself. Renata, Leslie and I walked to the school yesterday and they showed me how to find the path through the woods right to the playground.
"And Mom, they have it all finished now and everything is brand new - the slide, swings and basketball hoops. It's going to be great!"
My reply to her enthusiasm is, "Stand still so I can finish your hair ribbon."
Then I gently push her toward the table. She quickly slides into her chair and attacks her breakfast. I turn back to the kitchen cupboards and take a deep breath, but it doesn't melt the lump in my throat or dull the ache in my chest.
I glance at the clock. "You can't leave before 8:30, so just slow down and chew your food."
In a few minutes she has finished that last drop of milk. Without prompting, she goes off to brush her teeth and comes back with her sweater.
"Is it time to go now?" she pleads.
"When this hand reaches 6," I point out to her on the clock.
I tentatively venture for the umpteenth time, "You're sure you don't want me to walk you to school?"
"No, Mom, I want to go alone." She goes out onto the deck to call to the dog and check the back yard.
"Is it time now?" She is hopping up and down.
With a sigh, I say, "Yes, dear."
I give her a big lingering hug, and off she races down the split-level stairs and out the front door. Standing at the top of our stairs, I can watch through the window. She is running down the sidewalk. Then suddenly she stops, turns and races back toward the house. "Oh, no," I think, expecting to have to change out of slippers for a walk to school after all.
The front door bangs open and up the stairs she flies to throw her little arms around me and press her cheek into my tummy. The long tight hug ends as she turns her eyes up to mine and seriously proclaims, "You'll be all right, Mom. I'll be home at noon."
Then off she dashes into her new world of school adventures, excited and happy to be graduating from babyhood. My misty eyes follow her progress to the end of our walk. She turns around again and waves to me. I wave back and find I can now smile.
The lump in my chest has melted as I think about her display of love. Yes, I will be all right as I go on to my own adventures. This is my graduation day, too.
譯文參考:
畢業(yè)
瑪麗•安•德茲勒
今天,卡西要上幼兒園了??ㄎ魇俏易钚〉暮⒆樱@勾起我的懷舊情緒。如果我有勇氣承認(rèn)的話,我會(huì)說(shuō)我感到傷感,還有一點(diǎn)害怕。為什么我會(huì)有這種感覺(jué)呢?卡西的姐姐雷娜塔上學(xué)的時(shí)候,我可沒(méi)有傷感。那,我為什么對(duì)她獲得的自由感到興奮和激動(dòng)?
想起來(lái),卡西好像昨天還是一個(gè)既安靜又滿足的嬰兒。有她在身邊是一件令人高興的事。她安靜地同她的洋娃娃或家里的狗玩,卡西和狗都喜歡藏在我鋪在大躺椅上的毯子下面。
如今,卡西的生活和心思都將有不少變化。她將成為外面世界的一部分,我要像以前那樣保護(hù)她,使她不受生活挫折,不遭遇困境就會(huì)更難。
也許,我過(guò)分溺愛(ài)卡西,因?yàn)樗谌龤q時(shí)就被診斷患有一種罕見(jiàn)的疾病,這件事除了家人外誰(shuí)也不知道。
我打算離開廚房去叫醒卡西,讓她為這個(gè)大日子作準(zhǔn)備。就在這時(shí),她來(lái)了,兩只明亮的眼睛,臉上帶著笑容,身上穿著一條新的格子裙和襯衣。在我們互道早安時(shí),她緊緊地?fù)肀摇?
“早上好,你起得真早!”我向她打招呼。
“媽媽早。”她對(duì)著我的圍裙含糊的說(shuō)。“媽媽,看,我自己穿好衣服,還梳好頭發(fā)。”她得意地快速轉(zhuǎn)著圈讓我看。
“不過(guò),我不會(huì)用這條帶子扎頭發(fā)。”她把梳子、橡皮筋和和紅發(fā)帶遞給我。她今天早上竟然如此迅速,我感到很吃驚。
我在幫她梳頭時(shí),又一次問(wèn)她:“這是第一天,要不要我陪你走到學(xué)校?”
她的答復(fù)與昨天一樣:“不用,媽媽,我自己認(rèn)得路。昨天,我、雷娜塔,還有萊斯莉一起走到學(xué)校,她們教我怎樣穿過(guò)樹林的小路走到操場(chǎng)去。
“對(duì)了,媽媽,學(xué)校全都準(zhǔn)備好了,所有的東西——滑梯、秋千和籃球架——都是新的。以后一定很好玩!”
我對(duì)興高采烈的她說(shuō):“站著別動(dòng),等我把你的發(fā)帶弄好。”
然后,我把她輕輕地推向飯桌。她馬上坐到她的椅子上,對(duì)早餐發(fā)起進(jìn)攻。我轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身,對(duì)著廚房的櫥柜,深深地吸了一口氣,但這也無(wú)法止住我的哽咽,或緩解胸口的疼痛。
我掃了一眼鐘,“你不能在八點(diǎn)半以前出門,慢點(diǎn),用心嚼你的早餐。”
她在幾分鐘后就喝完了牛奶。不用別人提醒,她自己去刷牙,然后拿著一件套衫又回來(lái)了。
“到時(shí)間走了嗎?”她懇求道。
“要等這指針走到六字時(shí),”我指著鐘對(duì)她說(shuō)。
我遲疑著,再作第無(wú)數(shù)次嘗試,“你真的不用我陪你去學(xué)校嗎?”
“媽媽,不用,我要自己去。”她走出露臺(tái)去叫狗,又到后院找。
“到時(shí)間了嗎?”她不停地跳著。
我嘆了一口氣,說(shuō):“時(shí)間到了,親愛(ài)的。”
我與她緊緊擁抱,不愿放手。然后,她沖下了錯(cuò)層式的梯級(jí),出了前門。我站在梯級(jí)口,從窗口望去,她正在人行道上跑。突然,她停下來(lái),轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái),向著屋子快跑。“哎呀,不好,”我想,鬧了半天,我還是要換鞋,陪她到學(xué)校去。
門砰地打開,她飛快地跑上梯級(jí),用她的小手抱住我,她的小臉蛋壓住我的肚子。我們擁抱了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間,接著,她抬頭看著我,嚴(yán)肅地說(shuō)道,“媽媽,你會(huì)沒(méi)事的。我中午就回家。”
然后,她又沖進(jìn)她學(xué)校的新世界,她既興奮又高興,因?yàn)樗K于從嬰兒階段畢業(yè)了。我模糊的眼睛跟隨她到了門前小路的盡頭,她再次轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái),向我招手。我也向她招招手,發(fā)覺(jué)自己終于會(huì)笑了。
想想她表現(xiàn)出的愛(ài),我不再哽咽了。是的,我會(huì)沒(méi)事的,我會(huì)去做自己的事。我也畢業(yè)了。