Russell On Affection
The best type of affection is reciprocally1) life-giving;each receives affection with joy and gives it without effort,and each finds the whole world more interesting in conse-quence of the existence of this reciprocal happiness.There is,however,another kind,by no mean s uncommon,in which one person sucks the vitality2) of the other,one re-ceives what the other gives,but give s almost nothing in return.Some very vital people belong t o this bloodsucking3) type.They extract the vitality from one victim after another,but while they prosper and grow interesting,those upon whom they live grow pale and dim4) and dull.Such people use others as means to their own ends,and never consider them as ends in themselves.Fundamentally they are not interested in those whom for the moment they think they love;they are interested only in the stimulus to their own activities,perhaps of a quite impersonal sort.
Evidently this springs from some defect in their nature,but it is one not altogether easy either to diagnose or to cure.It is a characteristic frequently associated with great ambition,and is rooted,I should say,in an unduly5) one-sided view of what makes human happiness.Affection in the sense of a genuine reciprocal interest of two persons i n each other,not solely as means to each other' s good,but rather as a combination having a common good,is one of the most important elements of real happiness,and the man w hose ego is so enclosed within steel walls that this enlargement of it is impossible misses the best that life has to offer,however successful he may be in his career.A too powerful ego is a prison from which a man must escape if he is to enjoy the world to the full.A capacity for genuine affection is one of the marks of the man who has escaped from this prison of self.To receive affection is by no means enough;affection which is received should liberate the affection which is to be given,and only where both exist in equal measure does affection achieve its best possibilities.
羅 素 論 愛
最好的那種愛是彼此愉悅的愛;彼此很愉快地接受,很自然地給出,并且由于有了這種互惠的快樂,彼此都覺得整個(gè)世界更有趣味。然而,還有一種決非少見的愛,那就是一方吸收著另一方的活力,接受著另一方的給出,但他這一方幾乎毫無回報(bào)。某些生命力極旺的人便屬于這吸血的一類。他們把一個(gè)又一個(gè)犧牲者的活力吸凈,但是當(dāng)他們?cè)桨l(fā)生機(jī)勃勃,興致盎然之時(shí),那些被榨取的人卻變得越來越蒼白、黯淡和遲鈍。這種人總是把他人當(dāng)作工具來實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的目標(biāo),卻從不考慮他人也有他自己的目標(biāo)。他們一時(shí)以為他們愛著那些人,其實(shí)那些人根本引不起他們的興趣;他們感興趣的不過是為自己的活動(dòng)添些刺激,而他們的活動(dòng)也許當(dāng)屬全無人格的那種。
這種情形顯然源于他們本性上的某種缺陷,但是這種缺陷既不容易診斷也不容易治療。它往往與極大的野心有關(guān),同時(shí)也是由于他們總是不恰當(dāng)?shù)貜膯畏矫嫒タ创松腋5木壒省扇苏嬲嗷リP(guān)心意義上的愛,不僅是促進(jìn)彼此幸福的手段,而且是促進(jìn)共同幸福的手段,是真正快樂的最重要因素之一。凡是把自我禁錮起來不能擴(kuò)展的人,必然錯(cuò)失人生所能提供的最好的東西,不管他在事業(yè)上如何成功。太強(qiáng)的自我是一座監(jiān)獄,你若想充分地享受人生,就得從這座監(jiān)獄中逃脫。能有真正的愛,這是一個(gè)人已逃出自我監(jiān)獄的標(biāo)志之一。光接受愛是絕對(duì)不夠的;接受的愛應(yīng)當(dāng)能激發(fā)你奉獻(xiàn)出自己的愛,惟有當(dāng)接受的愛和奉獻(xiàn)出的愛等量存在時(shí),愛才能達(dá)到它的最佳狀態(tài)。
(選自《羅素論人生》)
NOTE 注釋:
reciprocally [ri5siprEkEli] adv. 相互地
vitality [vai5tAliti] n. 活力, 生命力, 生動(dòng)性
bloodsucking [`blQd9sQkIN] adj. 吸血?jiǎng)游锏?/span>
dim [dim] adj. 暗淡的, 模糊的, 無光澤的
unduly [5Qn5dju:li] adv. 不適當(dāng)?shù)?/span>, 過度地, 不正當(dāng)?shù)?/span>