Love is a power which produces love
Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a "standing in", not a "falling for".
In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily giving, not receiving. The most important sphere of giving, however, is not that of material things, but lies in the specifically human realm.
What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious thing he has, he gives of his life. This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for the other—but that he gives him of that which is alive in him; he gives him of his joy, of his understanding, of his knowledge, of his humor, of his sadness—of all expressions and manifestations of that which is alive In him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the other's sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness. He does not give in order to receive; giving is in itself exquisite joy. But in giving he cannot help bringing something to life in the other person, and this which is brought to life reflects back to him; in truly giving, he cannot help receiving that which is given back to him. Giving implies to make the other person a giver also and they both share in the joy of what they have brought to life, in the act of giving, something is born, and both persons involved are grateful for the life that is born for both of them.
Specifically with regard to love this means: love is a power which produces love; impotence is the inability to produce love, this thought has been beautifully expressed by Marx: "Assume," he says, "man as man, and his relation to the world as a human one, and you can exchange love only for love, confidence for confidence, etc. If you wish to enjoy art, you must be a person who has a really stimulating and furthering influence on other people. Every one of your relationships to man and to nature must be a definite expression of your real, individual life corresponding to the object of your will. If you love without calling forth love, that is, if your love as such does not produce love, if by means of an expression of life as a living person you do not make of yourself a loved person, then your love is impotent, a misfortune."
愛是一種積極的活動(dòng),并不是一種被動(dòng)的情感;它是主動(dòng)地“站進(jìn)去”的活動(dòng),而不是盲目地“沉迷上”的情感。
如果用最通常的方式來(lái)描述愛的主動(dòng)特征,那么,它主要是給予可不是獲取。 然而,給予最重要的意義并不在于物質(zhì)方面,而尤其在于人性方面。
一個(gè)人給予另一個(gè)人什么東西呢?他把他自己給予別人,把自己擁有的最珍貴的東西給予別人,把自己的生命給予別人。這不一定意味著他要為別人而犧牲自己的生命,而是指他把自己身上存在的東西給予別人,把自己的快樂(lè)、理解、知識(shí)、幽默、哀愁,把他身上存在的所有東西表露和顯現(xiàn)給別人。在他把自己的生命給予別人的同時(shí),他豐富了別人的生命。通過(guò)提高自己的生存感,他會(huì)提高別人的生存感。他不是為了獲取才給予;給予本身就是一種強(qiáng)烈的快樂(lè)。當(dāng)然,在給予中,他不知不覺地使別人身上某些東西得到新生,這種新生的東西反過(guò)來(lái)又給他帶來(lái)了新的希望;在真誠(chéng)的給予中,他無(wú)意識(shí)地得到了別人給他的回饋。給予暗示了讓對(duì)方也成為給予者;雙方共同分享他們已使某些東西得到新生的快樂(lè)。在給予的行為中,某種東西得以新生,而對(duì)于這新生的事物,涉及到的雙方都充滿感激之情。
僅就愛而言,這意味著愛是一種能產(chǎn)生愛的力量;沒(méi)有(這種)力量就不會(huì)產(chǎn)生愛。馬克思曾對(duì)這種思想作過(guò)精辟的論述:他說(shuō),“假定人就是人,而人同世界的關(guān)系是一種人的關(guān)系。那么你就只能用愛來(lái)交換愛,只能用信任來(lái)交換信任,等等。如果你想得到藝術(shù)的享受,那你就必須是一個(gè)有藝術(shù)修養(yǎng)的人。如果你想感化別人,那你就必須是一個(gè)實(shí)際上能鼓舞和推動(dòng)別人前進(jìn)的人。你同人和自然界的一切關(guān)關(guān)系,都必須是你的現(xiàn)實(shí)的個(gè)人生活的、與你的意志對(duì)象相符合的特定表現(xiàn)。如果你在戀愛,但沒(méi)有引起對(duì)方的反應(yīng),也就是說(shuō),如果你的愛作為愛沒(méi)有引起對(duì)方的愛,如果你作為戀愛者通過(guò)你的生命表現(xiàn)沒(méi)有使你成為被愛的人,那幺你的愛就是無(wú)力的,就是不幸的。”