雙語(yǔ) ● 男人的浪漫　Men’s Romantic

■ 男人的浪漫　Men’s Romantic

◎ Dr. Nancy kalish

We too often define “romantic” in women’s terms— sending flowers and cards, saving mementos[53] and putting them in a box or scrapbook, gushing over chick romance movies, or listening to romantic songs all day.

我們常常太過(guò)于將“浪漫”定義為女人的專(zhuān)屬名詞——送鮮花和賀卡，在盒子或剪貼簿中收藏紀(jì)念品，滔滔不絕地談?wù)撋倥?lèi)的愛(ài)情電影，或者整天聽(tīng)情歌。

Men may not do these things, but many men do something more romantic than all that: they keep their love in their hearts forever.

男人大概不會(huì)做這些事，但很多男人會(huì)做比這更浪漫的事：他們將愛(ài)永存心中。

My survey of 3000 men and women worldwide who tried reunions[54] with lost loves asked, “How long did it take for you to get over your lost love?” Responses from the men indicated that they took significantly longer to get over their lost loves than the women. Some of the men were not satisfied with the survey choices: the last choice listed was, “Over 10 years.” Only men crossed out all the choices and wrote, “I never got over her!” While no doubt some women never got over their lost loves, either, only men wrote this comment on the survey.

我在調(diào)查里問(wèn)那些想重歸于好的3000名男士和女士：“你要花多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間從失戀中走出來(lái)？”男人們的回答表明，他們比女人要花更長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間才能恢復(fù)。有些男人不滿意調(diào)查的選項(xiàng)，最后一個(gè)選項(xiàng)為“超過(guò)10年”。只有男人劃了所有的選項(xiàng)，并寫(xiě)道：“我絕不會(huì)忘記她！”毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)，有些女士也會(huì)對(duì)失去的愛(ài)無(wú)法忘懷，然而只有男士在調(diào)查中寫(xiě)了這項(xiàng)意見(jiàn)。

Adolescent boys are “not supposed” to cry over lost loves. But many of my male participants reported that, after their high school girlfriends broke up with them, they cried in private, every night, for months.

青春期男生“不應(yīng)該”在失戀后哭泣。但是我的很多男性受訪者表示，他們?cè)诟咧袝r(shí)期與女友分手后，好幾個(gè)月里每天夜晚都會(huì)獨(dú)自流淚。

My lost love reunion findings about romantic men paralleled results of my survey of adults who never tried lost love reunions. There were significantly more men than women who chose to fill out the survey, and they expressed strong feelings for their first loves, even though they had not contacted these women (and may never do so).

在調(diào)查報(bào)告中，那些想重歸于好的人和那些不再試圖找回失去的愛(ài)戀的人相比，均衡結(jié)果顯示，更多的男士比女士選擇填寫(xiě)這項(xiàng)調(diào)查，并且表達(dá)了對(duì)初戀的強(qiáng)烈感情，即使他們已經(jīng)和這些女人沒(méi)有任何接觸了（而且可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)再有接觸）。

Posts on the Message Board of my web site (Lostlovers.com), are more represented by women than men. But appearances are misleading[55] . Actually, there are more men who are members of my site than women. The men don’t post as often as the women, but they are reading!

我的網(wǎng)站（Lostlovers.com）留言板上的留言更多則是女士發(fā)表的言論，但這只是表面現(xiàn)象。實(shí)際上，在我的網(wǎng)站上，男士會(huì)員要多過(guò)女士。男人們不會(huì)像女人那樣經(jīng)?；貞?yīng)，但是他們會(huì)去閱讀留言。

Men more often sign up for private phone consultations to talk about their lost loves than women.

與女士相比，男士更愿意參加私下的電話咨詢(xún)談?wù)撍麄兪サ膼?ài)情。

But it is a rare men’s magazine that will print a story about love and romance. The editors tell me that they think men are uninterested. Not so! When my research was quoted in Playboy , it generated a lot of responses.

但是，男性雜志很少會(huì)刊登關(guān)于愛(ài)情或浪漫的故事。編輯告訴我，他們認(rèn)為男士對(duì)這些不感興趣。絕不是！當(dāng)我的研究被《花花公子》引用時(shí)，它得到了大量的回應(yīng)。

On occasions where romance is expected (such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays or anniversaries), we should all remember to separate emotions from behaviors. Men may not make scrapbooks of mementos of their love experiences, but they are every bit as loving, loyal, and yes, romantic, as women—and sometimes more so!

有時(shí)，浪漫是令人期待的（比如情人節(jié)、生日或紀(jì)念日），我們應(yīng)該記住把情感和行動(dòng)區(qū)分開(kāi)來(lái)。男人也許不會(huì)做紀(jì)念品剪貼簿等留下愛(ài)情歷程中令人回憶的東西，但是他們和女人一樣愛(ài)著，一樣忠誠(chéng)。是的，他們同女人一樣浪漫——有時(shí)，甚至比女人更浪漫！

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