英譯現(xiàn)代散文●丁香花下 ◎ 黃秋耘

丁香花下

Under a Lilac Bush

◎　黃秋耘

◎　Huang Qiuyun

今年的暮春和初夏，我是在北京度過的。除了刮風天和陰雨天，我吃過晚飯后就溜達到中山公園去，去紫丁香花叢中消磨掉整個黃昏。一個人安靜地坐在公園的長椅子上，讓那濃郁的花香彌漫在包圍著我的氣氛里，沉思著四十多年來像云煙一般的前塵往事。對于一個性情孤僻而心境寂寞的老年人來說，這恐怕是最難得的享受了。

This year I was in Beijing from late spring to early summer. Except on windy or rainy days, I would daily walk to Zhongshan Park after supper to idle away the evening hours amidst the purple lilacs. Sitting quietly by myself on a park bench, with the sweet fragrance of lilacs permeating the air around me, I was absorbed in reviewing the transient events of the past 40 years or so. To a lonely and introvert old man like me, the moment of contemplation seemed a rare treat indeed.

一個熟悉而親切的面孔突然出現(xiàn)在我的面前，他的年紀和我差不多，是一家有名的出版社的老編輯：“怎么，老王，又是在這兒碰到你，你好像對紫丁香花有點特殊的感情似的。”

Suddenly, a familiar and amiable face appeared before me. He was about my age, and a senior editor with a well-known publishing house.“Hey, Lao Wang,”he addressed me.“Fancy meeting you here again! You seem to have a special liking for purple lilacs.”

“唔，也許，紫丁香花這種淡雅而又有點憂郁的情調(diào)適合我的氣質(zhì)。”

“Well, maybe. Their quiet elegance plus a slight touch of melancholy suits my disposition.”

“這恐怕不見得是惟一的原因吧!”他狡黠地眨著眼睛：“在你的一生中，說不定有一件不尋常的事情和紫丁香花有點什么關系。比方說，在年輕時候，你是不是認識過一個像紫丁香花一般憂郁的姑娘?”

“That perhaps isn't the only reason!”he added, giving a sly wink.“Something unusual in your past life may have to do with lilacs. For example, when you were young, didn't you meet a girl as melancholy as a purple lilac?”

像我這么一大把年紀，距離“灰飛煙滅”的日子已經(jīng)不很遠，似乎再也沒有什么事情需要“保密”了。而且，像這樣美好而純潔的回憶，多讓一個朋友知道也未嘗不是好事。我們并肩坐在長椅子上。我稍微沉默了一會兒，就開了腔，那位老先生居然全神貫注地在傾聽著。

Being an old man already with one foot in the grave, I felt I no longer had anything to hold back at all. Besides, it might be a good idea to let in one more friend on my sweet and pure memories. So, as we sat side by side on the park bench, I started talking after a moment of silence. The old man listened attentively.

“說起來，這是四十四年前的事了。和我同時代的人也許還會記得，1936年3月31日，北平的大、中學生在沙灘北大三院開過一個追悼在獄中受刑病死的戰(zhàn)友郭清的大會，會后舉行抬棺游行。我和六七百個同學參加了這次游行。我們的隊伍從北池子走到南池子，就跟上千名反動軍警碰上了，他們揮舞著警棍、皮鞭和大刀片向游行隊伍沖擊;而我們卻赤手空拳，只能用幾根竹竿招架著。經(jīng)過一場劇烈的搏斗，我們終于被沖散了。當場逮捕了五十多個同學之后，反動軍警還窮追著我們，幾乎是兩三個攆一個。我在前面跑，兩個警察在后面追，我后腦勺挨了一下警棍，鮮血滲出了便帽，滴在天藍色的大褂兒上，前后都有斑斑點點的血跡。幸虧我在大學里是個運動員，終歸跑得比他們快些，一眨眼就把他們落下了一百多米。我躥過幾條七枝八叉的胡同，跑進北池子南口的一條小巷里，眼看著有一戶人家虛掩著門，我推開門一閃身躲了進去，反手就關上了門。當時我渾身都是污泥和血跡，臉上也是紅一塊花一塊的，不像個人樣。院子里收拾得挺干凈，靜悄悄的，沒有一個人影。過了半晌，門簾子一掀開，走出來一個很文靜的姑娘，小個子，大眼睛，年紀看來還比我小一兩歲，大概是個高中學生吧。她看到我這個模樣，嚇了一跳，但還是很鎮(zhèn)定地問我：‘您怎么啦?哪兒受的傷?’

“It was 44 years ago. As people of about my age may still remember, on March 31, 1936, university and high school students in Peiping held a memorial meeting to mourn their comrade-in-arms Guo Qing, who had died of torture in prison. They then staged a protest march holding aloft the coffined martyr. I too joined about 700 fellow students in the march. On our way from Bei-chi-zi to Nan-chi-zi, we ran into thousands of reactionary soldiers and cops. They fell on us brandishing truncheons, leather-thonged whips and swords. We fought barehanded, trying to ward off attacks with only a few bamboo poles. We were scattered after a violent struggle and more than 50 students were arrested on the spot. In the hot chase that followed, there were two or three cops for each fleeing student. As I ran like crazy with two cops chasing after me, my head was hit by a cop's baton in the back, causing blood to ooze from my cap and drip all over my sky-blue gown. Fortunately, as a university athlete, I was able to outrun the pursuers and leave them behind in a twinkling by more than 100 meters. After passing through a number of zigzagging lanes, I came to the southern end of Bei-chi-zi where I found a house with its gate left ajar, so, pushing it open, I slipped in sideways and pulled it to behind me. I was then smeared all over with dirt and bloodstains and my face looked ghastly with lots of smudges. The courtyard was clean and quiet without a single soul. It was quite a while before the door curtain was lifted and a gentle girl came out. She was of small stature and had big eyes. She looked my junior by one or two years and was most probably a senior middle school student. She was taken aback by my wretched condition and asked me calmly, ‘What's the matter? Why, is there anything wrong?’

“‘我是個學生，剛才去參加游行，被警察打傷了。他們要抓我。借您這兒躲一躲，行不行?假如您不同意。我馬上就出去。’

“‘I'm a student. I was with a student demonstration just now, and got beaten up by cops. They're hunting about for me. May I hide myself here? If you don't agree, I go out right away.’

“‘您不能出去。這個樣子出去，豈不是自投羅網(wǎng)!來!讓我先給您包扎一下。’接著，她把我領進屋里，拿出繃帶和藥棉，上了藥，迅速地用熟練而輕快的手指給我包扎好傷口，用酒精擦干凈我的臉孔。關切地問道：‘弄痛了您沒有?不難受嗎?’

“‘No, you can't. That would mean throwing yourself into a trap. Now, let me dress your wound first.’ Then she led me into the room. She took out sterilized cotton and ointment, and quickly bandaged my wound with her nimble fingers. Then she cleaned my face with alcohol and said with concern, ‘Does it hurt? Are you all right?’

“我整理整理衣服，站起來;‘不怎么痛啦!我可以走了。’

“I rose and tidied up my clothes, and said, ‘It doesn't hurt any more. I should be going now.’

“她攔住我：‘不行，您身上有血跡，警察會認出來的，得換上衣服，戴上呢帽!’她從衣柜里拿出一件藍布大褂兒和一頂舊呢帽：‘是我大哥的，您穿戴上大概還合適，他個子和您差不多。’

“She stopped me, saying, ‘No, you can't. The police will recognize you. You have to change clothes and put on a felt hat’! She then took out from the wardrobe a blue long gown and an old felt hat and said, ‘They belong to my eldest brother and will fit you nicely because he's about the same height as you.’

“我一再推辭，她有點生氣了：‘唉，您這個人呀，真是個書呆子!生死關頭，逃命要緊嘛，還顧得上那么多禮數(shù)?’

“As I declined the offer repeatedly, she became a little put out and said, ‘Oh, what a bookworm you are! The important thing at this critical moment is to flee for your life, not to stand on ceremony like that.’

“我走出這戶人家，回頭望一眼門牌號碼。靠著藍布大褂和呢帽的掩護，誰也看不出我是個被打傷的‘逃犯’，拐了個彎，到了騎河樓清華同學會，坐上直開清華園的校車，我就這樣安然無恙地脫險了。

“On stepping out of the house, I turned my head to take a look at the house number. Now, under cover of the blue long gown and the felt hat, nobody could recognize me as the injured ‘criminal’ at large. After turning a corner, I arrived at Tsinghua University Alumni Association on Qihelou Street where a school bus took me straight back to the University campus. So I was at last safe and sound.

“我養(yǎng)好傷以后，總想著要把藍布大褂和呢帽還給人家。直接送到她家里去嗎?萬一出來應門的不是她而是別人，那我該怎么說才好呢?我只好寫了一封短信，請她在下一個星期六的傍晚親自到中山公園來今雨軒旁邊的紫丁香花叢附近，取回我借去的大褂和呢帽。收信人的姓名只寫著“大小姐”收，落款我沒有寫，因為那天在匆忙中我們誰都沒有請教過彼此的尊姓大名。

“Then, after I recovered from my wound, I pondered over returning the blue long gown and the felt hat to the young girl. Should I call on her again? What if it was somebody else than herself that answered the door? So I decided to write her a letter telling her to meet me next Saturday evening under a lilac bush next to Jin-yu-zhai Teahouse in Zhongshan Park so that she could take back the things that I had borrowed from her. I addressed her as ‘Dear Lady’ in the letter without adding my signature because we had failed to ask each other's name on the previous day owing to the hurry of the moment.

“我們終于在紫丁香花下見面了。她很大方地走到我面前，稍微點點頭示意。

“We at last met under the lilac bush. She came up to me with ease and greeted me with a slight nod.

“當時我還是一個十分靦腆的小伙子，我總覺得，隨便詢問一個不認識的姑娘的姓名或者介紹自己的姓名都是不太莊重的、太唐突的。我只是激動地對她說：‘非常感謝您的幫忙，那一天，要不是換了衣服，我一出門就會被捕的。胡同口有兩只穿黑制服的狗在守著呢!’

“I was then a very bashful young chap. I thought it improper to conduct self-introduction between myself and a young girl that was a stranger to me. I said in an agitated tone, ‘Thank you very much for your help. I would have been arrested right outside your gate had it not been for the long gown and hat. I discovered two dark-uniformed bastards keeping watch at your gate.’

“‘別客氣!這些都是我應該做的。其實這些舊東西您大可不必還給我。’

“‘Don't mention it! I've only done my bit. You really need not return the junk to me.’

“‘我怕您不好向您的大哥交代!’

“‘But they belong to your eldest brother.’

“‘不要緊。他不是經(jīng)常穿戴的。再說，他和您一樣，也是個大學生。他是愛國的，不過，沒有您那么勇敢。’

“‘Never mind. He seldom wears them. Besides, he, like you, is a patriot, but not as courageous as you.’

“她將手上的紙包送給我：‘給，這是您那天換下來的布大褂和便帽，上面的血跡我給洗掉了。多可惜，這是志士的鮮血啊!’她半開玩笑半認真地說。當時有一支流行的愛國歌曲《五月的鮮花》，開頭有一句歌詞：‘五月的鮮花開遍了原野，鮮花掩蓋著志士的鮮血。’

“She then handed me a paper-wrapped parcel and said half jokingly,‘Take this — your cotton gown and cap. I've washed off all the bloodstains. What a pity I've destroyed the evidence of a hero's blood’!

“‘其實，您也大可不必還給我。這件血衣，留下來作紀念不是很好嗎?’

“‘In fact you don't have to return them to me. Isn't it a good idea for you to have my bloodstained garment as a keepsake?’

“她稚氣地笑著說：‘您叫我擱在哪兒呢?假如家里的人問起來，我又該怎么說才好呢?這件事，除了咱倆，現(xiàn)在還沒有第三個人知道!我爹是個好人，在中學里教書，他膽子小得要命!假如讓他知道了……’

“She went on with a naïve smile, ‘Where could I keep them? What could I say in case my folks should ask? Now, this is something between you and me! My dad is an honest guy. He teaches at a middle school. He's timid and overcautious. Suppose he should know of it …’

“她默默地望了我一眼，好像要記住我的容貌似的。但很快就說：‘假如沒有什么事，我該走了!’臨別時我們輕輕地握了握手，手指尖僅僅接觸到對方的手指尖。她走到離開我約莫十多步的地方，迅速地回過頭來望了我一眼，好像有點依依惜別的樣子。她那輕盈而苗條的身影，很快就消失在蒼茫的暮色和茂密的紫丁香花叢里面了。我猛地想跑上前去跟她多說幾句話，至少問清楚她的姓名，但我終于痛苦地克制住自己，我不愿意株連她，因為我還隨時有被捕的危險。

“She gave me a silent stare like she wanted to bear in mind my facial features. Then she said, ‘If that's all, I must say goodbye now.’ We parted by touching each other's fingertips casually instead of with a handshake. When she was a few steps away, she abruptly turned round to give me a look like she was reluctant to leave me. Soon her slender and graceful figure was lost in the deepening dusk and among the flourishing lilacs. I suddenly felt like rushing ahead to have a few more words with her, at least to find out her name. But I restrained myself painfully because I didn't want to get her involved. I was still in danger of being arrested at any moment.

“這就是全部事情的經(jīng)過，要說是‘愛情’吧，恐怕算不上;要說是友誼呢，又和普通的、尋常的友誼不太一樣，好像多了一點什么東西——革命的情誼，一種患難與共、信守不渝的革命情誼，這是人世間最值得珍貴的東西。不知怎的，雖然事情已經(jīng)過去四十多年了，每當我一看到紫丁香花，一聞到紫丁香花的香味，我就情不自禁地想起了這么一件事，這么一個人，仿佛又看到她那消逝在紫丁香花叢中的身影，仿佛又聽到她離去時輕輕的腳步聲。”

“That's all there's to it. Strictly, it wasn't love, nor was it ordinary friendship. There was a bit more to it. It was revolutionary friendship, or a bond of comradeship forged by common suffering and unswerving faith. In short, it was something of the greatest value in the world. Now, after more than 40 years, the sight of sweet-smelling lilacs still always reminds me of the said event and person. And I will feel as if I saw her figure disappearing among the lilac bushes and hear the light footsteps she made at the moment when she was leaving me.”

聽完了我的故事，那位老先生無限感慨地說：“在我們一生中，生活有時會像河流一樣，和另一條河流遇合了，又分開了，帶來了某一種情緒的波流，永遠縈繞著我們的心靈……淡淡的，卻難忘!唉!怪不得你那樣喜歡紫丁香花。不過，你真是個古怪的老頭兒，在斑白的頭發(fā)底下還保持著一個二十歲小伙子般強烈的感情，這樣的人是不會幸福的。”

After hearing out my story, the old gentleman said with strong feeling,“Our life, like a river, sometimes joins another river only to separate again, thus leaving certain emotional ripples lingering in our mind … faint and unforgettable! Oh, no wonder you've a special liking for purplish lilacs. But you're really an eccentric old man. You still keep under your graying hair an emotion as intense as that of a 20-year-old young chap. Such a man as you can never be happy.”

黃秋耘(1918—2001)，原名黃超顯，祖籍廣東順德，生于香港，著名散文家、文學評論家。1935—1937年在北平清華大學中文系學習期間，熱情參加了一二·九抗日救國運動，并加入中國共產(chǎn)黨。1943年畢業(yè)于廣州中山大學。1949年后歷任《文藝報》編輯部副主任、廣東省出版局副局長、中國作家協(xié)會理事、中國作協(xié)廣東分會副主席等職。主要作品有：散文集《浮沉》、《丁香花下》、《往事并不如煙》;文學評論集《苔花集》;回憶錄《風雨年華》等。所著《丁香花下》一文以講故事的形式敘述了作者青年時候的一段難忘的經(jīng)歷，是一篇膾炙人口的抒情敘事散文，選自作者的散文集《丁香花下》。