雙語|現(xiàn)代散文:葉夢 今夜，我是你的新娘

I'm Your Bride Tonight 今夜，我是你的新娘

◎ Ye Meng ◎ 葉夢

Yesterday you said to me，“Let's get married！”That's something you've said for the first time in twelve years.

昨天你對我說：“我們結婚吧！”十二年來，你第一次說出這句話。

And you added before I could reply，“How about tomorrow！I can't wait any longer，not even a single day．Let's get married tomorrow.”

不容我回答，你接著說：明天吧!我一天也不能等下去了。明天我們結婚——

So it was all set．There was little time left for me to weigh and consider.

已經決定了，沒有太多的時間容我考慮，容我猶豫。

The irreversible was to become a fait accompli in a little more than twenty hours.

這個不可逆轉的事實，只需二十多個小時，就要變成現(xiàn)實。

All would be very simple．No wedding banquet or ceremony．No need to notify friends and relatives．All I had to do was inform my parents，and put on brand-new bed-clothes.

一切都是很簡單的。不需要酒宴和儀式，不需要通知任何親友，只需稟告父母，只需要把床鋪換上全新的被褥。

To me，marriage is a very solemn matter in one's life and therefore it is absolutely unnecessary to invite a great many people to the wedding，both related and unrelated，and announce to them our matrimony with cigarettes，wine and sweets like at a news briefing，so that they can indulge in wining，expressing good wishes，chatting about the bride's appearance and what not.

我以為結婚是個人生命史上十分隆重的事件，我完全沒有必要把很多相干與不相干的人請來，像召開“新聞發(fā)布會”一樣在煙酒糖果之間宣布我們的結合，在漫天酒氣中讓人來祝賀來擺布來評頭品足。

I'm not vain．I don't want to go in for pomp and celebrate our nuptials in a big way．I don't seek the approval of anyone，nor do I try to buy over those holding conventional views on marriage.

我沒有虛榮心，我不需要顯擺不需要張揚，我不需要任何人認可，也不需要賄賂傳統(tǒng)的輿論。

Marriage is our personal business．We are fully entitled to go about it in a way of our own choice，unconventional as it may be.

結婚是我們個人的事，我們完全有權利選擇與常規(guī)不同的形式。

I don't expect the presence of many guests at my wedding because tranquility plus an air of mystery is what I design for this once-in-a-lifetime sacred ceremony.

我不需要任何人參加我的婚禮，安謐和神秘的氛圍正是我為這種神圣的生命儀式所作的設計。

My life，at the end of the thirty-five years，is going to take on a new pattern．It will mark the end of the old phase of my life and the beginning of the new.

三十五年的生命將要進入另一種樣式，三十五的后面需要打一個句號，需要刻一塊里程碑。

On the last day of my virginity，I stayed indoors alone，quietly decorating my wedding chamber．I diverted my mind from a medley of thoughts by keeping my hands busy with this and that.

屬于我處女的最后一個白天是我一個人靜靜地待在房里，我悄悄地布置著我的新房，我用我的雙手不停地做這做那，以分散我紛亂的思緒。

A joyful feeling came over me stealthily，together with fear and worry，and helpless sorrow too.

喜悅悄悄地在身體里滲透，與之俱來的更多的是恐懼和憂慮，也有一種不可挽回的悲哀。

I felt like a pale canvas soon to be daubed with a multicoloured pattern．I felt sad as if I were faced with a big disaster.

我好像是一塊蒼白的畫布，將要被涂上各種顏色的圖案，我不無痛惜地感覺，好像面臨一種破壞性的災難。

It was a long day，long enough for me to muse over the past thirty-five years．The beautiful dreams of romance in early girlhood were vague and far off．But the bitter experience of courting in later days were still clear before my eyes．Beautiful or bitter，both are of another day．And I'll never regret at all.

這一個白天真是漫長，讓我有足夠的時間回顧三十五年的過去。少女時芬芳浪漫的憧憬已經離我模糊而遙遠，青年時期追求的苦澀卻歷歷在目，不管是芬芳還是苦澀，都要在這里打一個句號，我從不后悔。

Correct or not，the decision is made and allows of no hesitation．I'll go ahead resolutely to live a new life.

不管我的選擇是否正確，已不容我再作猶豫，我將面對新的生活義無反顧地走過去。

The unshirkable night came at last.

不容推卻的那個夜終于姍姍來遲。

An oppressive silence reigned in the wedding chamber．Suddenly，there broke out outside a deafening sound of gongs and drums amidst loud music．Firecrackers and fireworks sent the dark night blazing with colour.

新房里有一種難耐的寧靜。屋外突然鑼鼓喧天，鼓樂齊鳴，爆竹和焰火把黑夜涂抹得五彩斑斕。

Was the music for us？

這是為我們奏起的鼓樂么？

The night finally relapsed into silence．The music was no more．All was quiet．The light was switched off，leaving two red candles burning away in the room.

夜終于靜下去，鼓樂沉沒了，一切聲響都已停歇。電燈已經關掉，新房里燃著兩支紅燭。

I sat by the red candles.

我坐在紅燭之下。

You sat in an armchair in the drawing room.

你坐在客廳的沙發(fā)上。

I suddenly wished we would both remain permanently where we were as if separated by a ravine between us.

我突然希望我們之間隔河隔渡似的對峙永遠下去。

Just then you began to move towards me.

這時，你向我走過來。

I listened to your heavy steps with a throbbing heart.

你的腳步很重很重，一步一步踏在我緊繃的心弦上。

You came nearer and nearer.

你離我越來越近了。

My limbs went ice-cold when suddenly there came over me the presage of coming ravages．I uttered abruptly from my heart.“I'm done for.”

突然，我感到我的肢體變得冰一樣涼，一種被破壞的恐怖突然襲擊了我，我的心里突然喊出這樣一句：這下完了。

I could not escape becoming a real woman.

我已經無法回避，我將要變成一個真正的女人了。

As you came to my side，I was afraid to look at you like you were a stranger.

你已經走到我的身邊來了，我突然覺得你像陌生人一樣不敢看你。

The wedding chamber was permeated with the aroma and smoke of the red candles.

紅燭吐出的燭香和煙氣在封閉的新房里彌漫。

“I'm your bride tonight！”It took me quite a long while to utter these words from the bottom of my heart，though with a touch of grief.

“今夜，我是你的新娘啊!”很久很久，我的心里哀哀地吐出這樣一句來。

《今夜，我是你的新娘》描述受傳統(tǒng)觀念束縛的大齡女子面臨婚姻時的矛盾心態(tài)，細致入微，饒有風趣。作者是當代知名散文家葉夢，女，原名熊夢云，湖南益陽人。她著有多部散文集，如《小溪的夢》、《湘西尋夢》、《靈魂的劫數(shù)》、《遍地巫風》等等。