雙語|現代散文:柯靈 別了，賀年片

Goodbye to New Year Cards！ 別了，賀年片

◎ Ke Ling ◎ 柯靈

I was born in January 1909．Time slipped by and I've been muddling along in this world for eighty-eight years．My illness in the autumn of last year left me in poor shape and so far I've not yet restored my former state of health．I cannot help feeling that longevity doesn't necessarily mean happiness.

我出生于1909年元月，混跡人間，荏苒八十八年。去秋一病，病后頹唐，至今沒有恢復到原來的健康水平。長壽非福之感，不覺油然而生。

More than ten years has quickly passed away since I retired and began to stay away from public activities．I congratulate myself，however，on spending my declining years in peace and comfort，free from hunger and cold，and on happening to live in time of peace and tranquility，which is hard to come by even once in a century．Though I still cannot help feeling concerned about many aspects of the status quo，I am，nevertheless，spared from having to live in constant fear of being overtaken unawares by an unpredictable man-made storm[1]．In my retirement，I keep the old habit of wielding my clumsy pen．I regard it as one way of whiling away my remaining years，and also find pleasure in it，similar to an old farmer enjoying a chat while taking the sun during the slack winter season．But now I feel I'm not quite up to even this because of age.

退離工作崗位，淡出社會活動，倏忽十有余年。自喜晚景靜好，無慮饑寒，還趕上了百年難遇的太平歲月。雖然許多現象不免使人牽愁惹恨，總算免了提心吊膽，唯恐什么時候會來一陣防不勝防的人造風暴。坐食之余，積習難除，不免干些災梨禍棗的閑人之業(yè)。這本來也是消磨余年的一法，猶如老農冬閑，負暄閑話，樂在其中。但現在也漸感到后難為繼。

The main problem is that my days are numbered and I'm going from bad to worse both physically and mentally．While busy attending to social relations，I'm meanwhile loath to cut off my devotion to writing．But I find it difficult to take care of both at the same time．As to interpersonal correspondence，I've long been unable to write letters in reply though it doesn't mean I've clean forgotten the sender or I don't feel apologetic for my silence．It certainly gives rise to a feeling of warmth and pleasure to send new year cards to relatives or friends at the end or beginning of a year，which not only offer messages of greetings but also serve as a substitute for correspondence．But much as I want to，it is now beyond my power to keep doing it．The exchange of a considerable number of such cards will take up much of my time and send me bustling around．Having difficulty getting about because of age，I have to ask somebody else to buy the cards or mail them out for me．The trendy cards in the market appear mostly in glittering de luxe editions and are very expensive．What is worse，the stylish new year messages printed therein in popular song fashion are incompatible with the status of an old man like me．Due to numerous frustrations，I many times even thought of having cards of my own design printed—cards which would be both simple and unaffected，and both expressive of my true feelings and in good taste，but unfortunately it never materialized．So all I have to do is wave goodbye to new year cards．From now on I no longer send them，either on my own initiative or in reply．Pray forgive me for lack of manners on my part.

矛盾的焦點，在于來日苦短，精神體力日見不濟，世故困人，而又不能抽刀斷水，毅然割棄文字因緣，顧此失彼，難以周全。在人際關系中，久已無力做到有信必復，有求必應，一面又不能釋然于懷，灑脫得無牽無掛。歲尾年頭，向親朋好友發(fā)個賀年片，兼代通候，原是一件使人感到溫暖和愉快的事，也漸覺力不從心。因為一來一往，為數可觀，操作需時，不免手忙腳亂。暮年行動不便，購卡，投郵，又須求人代勞。市上行銷的時髦賀卡，多是金碧輝煌的豪華版，代價不菲，姑置不論，流行歌曲式的新潮賀詞，也很不合老人身份。諸多煩擾，不一而足。曾經幾次想自己設計，印制一些素樸大方，既能表情達意，又堪供清賞的賀卡，也難以實現。不得已狠一狠心，向賀年片揮手告別，從此不再發(fā)寄，也不再裁答。失禮之愆，只好請求多多體諒了。

Time is impartial and nobody can fail to bow to it and admit defeat．Another year has gone by and spring has returned after winter is over．Let me avail myself of this opportunity to tell what is on my mind and make known my sincere intentions to all my friends at home and abroad，old and new，and to all my readers，acquainted and unacquainted.

在大公無私的時間前面，誰也不能不低頭認輸。一年容易，又是臘盡春回時節(jié)，謹布心曲，向海內外舊雨新知，識與不識的讀者，表達我的惓惓之意。

柯靈，浙江紹興人，是著名散文家、劇作家。他1930年發(fā)表小品散文《巷》、《雨》等，初步顯示了文學才能；1931年到上海，深受魯迅影響，全面開展文學創(chuàng)作。他有豐富的社會閱歷和深刻的人生體驗，抗戰(zhàn)時期，兩度被日本憲兵逮捕入獄，備受酷刑，在十年動亂中被囚禁三年。他的散文含蓄深摯，語言優(yōu)美洗練，簡要明快?！秳e了，賀年片》是他寫于1996年12月16日的一篇散文。譯者最近偶爾在他1997年出版的散文集《燕居閑話》中看到此文，頗有感觸，恰逢歲末，欣然為之英譯，以饗讀者。