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雙語散文|魯 彥——父親

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2018年08月21日

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“父親已經(jīng)上了六十歲了,還想作一點事業(yè),積一點錢,給我造起屋子來。”一個朋友從北方來,告訴了我這樣的話。
他的話使我想起了我的父親。我的父親正是和他的父親完全一樣的。
我的父親曾經(jīng)為我苦了一生,把我養(yǎng)大,送我進學(xué)校,為我造了屋子,買了幾畝田地。六十歲那一年,還到漢口去做生意,怕人家嫌他年老,只說五十幾歲。大家都勸他不要再出門,他偏背著包裹走了。
“讓我再幫兒子幾年!”他只是這樣說。
后來屋子被火燒掉了,他還想再做生意,把屋子重造起來。我安慰他說,三年以后我自己就可積起錢造屋了,還是等一等吧。他答應(yīng)了。他給我留下了許多造屋的材料,告訴我這樣可以做什么那樣可以做什么。他死的以前不久,還對我說:
“早一點造起來吧,我可以給你監(jiān)工。”“積一點錢,給我造起屋子來”譯為to save up for a house to be built for me,其中to save up for是成語,作“為……而把錢存起來”解。

Father



"Father is now over sixty, but he still wants to work to save up for a house to be built for me," a friend of mine from North China told me.

That put me in mind of my father. My father was very much like his.

Father went through untold hardships for me all his life. He brought me up, sent me to school, had a house built for me and bought me a few mu of land. He went to Hankou to engage in trade the year when he was already sixty. And he tried to make out that he was still in his fifties lest people should consider him too old to be of much use. We had all tried to dissuade him from going out to Hankou, but he simply wouldn't listen and left home carrying the luggage on his back.

"Let me toil a few more years for my son's sake!" That was what he said.

It happened afterwards that the house was burned down. And he wanted to go back to his business in order to have the house rebuilt. I tried to console him, saying that there was no need for him to do it because in three years' time I myself would have laid by enough money for a new house. He agreed. Then he gave me a lot of building materials and told me what to do with them. Shortly before his death, he urged me,

"You'd better get started right away so that I can watch to see that everything is done properly."

Unfortunately he didn't live long enough to see the new house. He told me on his deathbed that he had nothing to feel sorry about. But I knew he would be much happier if he could live a few more years just to see the new house put up. When I heard his dying groans and sighs, I believed they were caused not by physical pain, but by regret for not being able to live a few more years to help me with the new house.

Now I myself am a father of several children. Though I love my kids, I do not share the idea of father and people of his time that one can never do too much in his lifetime to help his children. Much as I admire father and people of his time for their moral excellence, I can never follow in their footsteps.

I think of my children as an encumbrance to me. I haven't worked out a long-term plan for them, nay, not even a short-term one.

"I'd like to give away my kids to anyone who's willing to take them!" That's what I say whenever I am fed up with them.

Alas, compared with father and people of his time, the present generation, I think, have pitifully low vitality. We in our twenties or thirties cannot compare with our elders in their sixties or seventies. Today they may be advanced in years or even no more, but they will, nevertheless, live forever and ever.

As for us, though still alive, we have long been dead.


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