雙語(yǔ)散文|巴 金——朋友
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朋 友
這一次的旅行使我更了解一個(gè)名詞的意義，這個(gè)名詞就是：朋友。七八天以前我曾對(duì)一個(gè)初次見(jiàn)面的朋友說(shuō)：“在朋友們面前我只感到慚愧。你們待我太好了，我簡(jiǎn)直沒(méi)法報(bào)答你們。”這并不是謙虛的客氣話，這是真的事實(shí)。說(shuō)過(guò)這些話，我第二天就離開(kāi)了那個(gè)朋友，并不知道以后還有沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)再看見(jiàn)他。但是他給我的那一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)溫暖至今還使我的心顫動(dòng)。
我的生命大概不會(huì)很長(zhǎng)久罷。然而在短促的過(guò)去的回顧中卻有一盞明燈，照徹了我的靈魂的黑暗，使我的生存有一點(diǎn)光彩。這盞燈就是友情。我應(yīng)該感謝它，因?yàn)榭苛怂也拍軌蚧畹浆F(xiàn)在；而且把舊家庭給我留下的陰影掃除了的也正是它。
世間有不少的人為了家庭拋棄朋友，至少也會(huì)在家庭和朋友之間劃一個(gè)界限，把家庭看得比朋友重過(guò)若干倍。這似乎是很自然的事情。我也曾親眼看見(jiàn)一些人結(jié)婚以后就離開(kāi)朋友，離開(kāi)事業(yè)。……
朋友是暫時(shí)的，家庭是永久的。在好些人的行為里我發(fā)見(jiàn)了這個(gè)信條。這個(gè)信條在我實(shí)在是不可理解的。對(duì)于我，要是沒(méi)有朋友，我現(xiàn)在會(huì)變成怎樣可憐的東西，我自己也不知道。
然而朋友們把我救了。他們給了我家庭所不能給的東西。他們的友愛(ài)，他們的幫助，他們的鼓勵(lì)，幾次把我從深淵的邊沿救回來(lái)。他們對(duì)我表示了無(wú)限的慷慨。
我的生活曾經(jīng)是悲苦的，黑暗的。然而朋友們把多量的同情，多量的愛(ài)，多量的歡樂(lè)，多量的眼淚分了給我，這些東西都是生存所必需的。這些不要報(bào)答的慷慨的施舍，使我的生活里也有了溫暖，有了幸福。我默默地接受了它們。我并不曾說(shuō)過(guò)一句感激的話，我也沒(méi)有做過(guò)一件報(bào)答的行為。但是朋友們卻不把自私的形容詞加到我的身上。對(duì)于我，他們太慷慨了。
這一次我走了許多新地方，看見(jiàn)了許多新朋友。我的生活是忙碌的：忙著看，忙著聽(tīng)，忙著說(shuō)，忙著走。但是我不曾遇到一點(diǎn)困難，朋友們給我準(zhǔn)備好了一切，使我不會(huì)缺少什么。我每走到一個(gè)新地方，我就像回到我那個(gè)在上海被日本兵毀掉的舊居一樣。
每一個(gè)朋友，不管他自己的生活是怎樣苦，怎樣簡(jiǎn)單，也要慷慨地分一些東西給我，雖然明知道我不能夠報(bào)答他。有些朋友，連他們的名字我以前也不知道，他們卻關(guān)心我的健康，處處打聽(tīng)我的“病況”，直到他們看見(jiàn)了我那被日光曬黑了的臉和膀子，他們才放心地微笑了。這種情形的確值得人掉眼淚。
有人相信我不寫文章就不能夠生活。兩個(gè)月以前，一個(gè)同情我的上海朋友寄稿到《廣州民國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)》的副刊，說(shuō)了許多關(guān)于我的生活的話。他也說(shuō)我一天不寫文章第二天就沒(méi)有飯吃。這是不確實(shí)的。這次旅行就給我證明：即使我不再寫一個(gè)字，朋友們也不肯讓我凍餒。世間還有許多慷慨的人，他們并不把自己個(gè)人和家庭看得異常重要，超過(guò)一切?？苛怂麄兾也拍軌蚧畹浆F(xiàn)在，而且靠了他們我還要活下去。
朋友們給我的東西是太多、太多了。我將怎樣報(bào)答他們呢？但是我知道他們是不需要報(bào)答的。
最近我在一個(gè)法國(guó)哲學(xué)家的書里讀到了這樣的話：“生命的一個(gè)條件就是消費(fèi)……世間有一種不能跟生存分開(kāi)的慷慨，要是沒(méi)有了它，我們就會(huì)死，就會(huì)從內(nèi)部干枯。我們必須開(kāi)花。道德，無(wú)私心就是人生的花。”
在我的眼前開(kāi)放著這么多的人生的花朵了。我的生命要到什么時(shí)候才會(huì)開(kāi)花？難道我已經(jīng)是“內(nèi)部干枯”了么？
一個(gè)朋友說(shuō)過(guò)：“我若是燈，我就要用我的光明來(lái)照徹黑暗。”
我不配做一盞明燈。那么就讓我做一塊木柴罷。我愿意把我從太陽(yáng)那里受到的熱放散出來(lái)，我愿意把自己燒得粉身碎骨給人間添一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)溫暖。
Friends
On my recent travels, I came to realize still more fully the significance of the word "friend".Seven or eight days ago, I said to a friend whom I had just come to know, "I can't help feeling embarrassed before my friends. You're all so nice to me. I simply don't know how to repay your kindness." I did not make this remark out of mere modesty and courtesy. I truly meant what I said. The next day, I said goodbye to this friend, not knowing if I could ever see him again. But the little warmth that he gave me has been keeping my heart throbbing with gratitude.
The length of my days will not be unlimited. However, whenever I look back on my brief past life, I find a beacon illuminating my soul and thereby lending a little brightness to my being. That beacon is friendship. I should be grateful to it because it has helped me keep alive up to now and clear away the shadow left on me by my old family.
Many people forsake their friends in favour of their own families, or at least draw a line of demarcation between families and friends, considering the former to be many times more important than the latter. That seems to be a matter of course. I have also seen with my own eyes how some people abandon their friends as well as their own careers soon after they get married ...
Friends are transient whereas families are lasting — that is the tenet, as I know, guiding the behaviour of many people. To me, that is utterly inconceivable. Without friends, I would have been reduced to I don't know what a miserable creature.
Friends are my saviours. They give me things which it is beyond my family to give. Thanks to their fraternal love, assistance and encouragement, I have time and again been saved from falling into an abyss while on its verge. They have been enormously generous towards me.
There was a time when my life was miserable and gloomy. My friends then gave me in large quantities sympathy, love, joy and tears — things essential for existence. It is due to their bountiful free gifts that I also have my share of warmth and happiness in my life. I accepted their kindnesses quietly without ever saying a word of thanks and without ever doing anything in return. In spite of that, my friends never used the epithet "self-centered" when referring to me. They are only too generous towards me.
I visited many new places and met many new friends on my recent trip. My time was mostly taken up by looking around, listening, talking and walking. But I never ran into any trouble because my friends had done their utmost to make sure that I would be short of nothing. Whatever new places I called at, I always felt at home as if I were back in my old residence in Shanghai which had already been raged to the ground by Japanese troops.
No matter how hard up and frugal my friends themselves were, they would unstintingly share with me whatever they had, although they knew I would not be able to repay them for their kindness. Some, whom I did not even know by name, showed concern over my health and went about inquiring after me. It was not until they saw my suntanned face and arms that they began to smile a smile of relief. All that was enough to move one to tears.
Some people believe that, without writing, I would lose my livelihood. One of my sympathizers, in an article published two months ago in the Guangzhou Republic Daily supplement, gives a full account of the conditions of my life. He also says that I would have nothing to live on once I should lay down my pen. That is not true at all. It has already been proved by my recent travels that my friends would never let me suffer from cold and hunger even if I should go without writing a single word. There are a great many kind-hearted people in the world who never attach undue importance to themselves and their own families and who never place themselves and their families above anything else. It is owing to them that I still survive and shall continue to survive for a long time to come.
I owe my friends many, many kindnesses. How can I repay them? But, I understand, they don't need me to do that.
Recently I came across the following words in a book by a French philosopher:
One condition of life is consumption ... Survival in this world is inseparable from generosity, without which we would perish and become dried-up from within. We must put forth flowers. Moral integrity and unselfishness are the flowers of life.
Now so many flowers of life are in full bloom before my eyes. When can my life put forth flowers? Am I already dried-up from within?
A friend of mine says, "If I were a lamp, I would illuminate darkness with my light."
I, however, don't qualify for a bright lamp. Let me be a piece of firewood instead. I'll radiate the heat that I have absorbed from the sun. I'll burn myself to ashes to provide this human world with a little warmth.
《朋友》是巴金1933年6月寫于廣州的一篇旅途隨筆。作者通過(guò)自己的經(jīng)歷，用樸素流暢的語(yǔ)言贊頌人間友情之可貴，字里行間處處洋溢著他的真摯、熱情。
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