讓自己變更好：那些需要停止的期待

Life is full of experiences and trials that you never saw coming. Sometimes what we expect to happen and the reality of the situation are 2 very different things. Expectations are nice to have. They give you goals, purpose, joy and even something to look forward to, but you have to understand that life happens: you’re not always in control.

生活充滿不期而遇的經(jīng)歷。有時(shí)現(xiàn)實(shí)跟我們的期待完全是兩碼事。期待很美好，給人以目標(biāo)和快樂(lè)，使人有所憧憬，但你得明白：生活并不盡在你的掌控之中。

Some expectations are good to have and some are unhealthy. Here’s a list of expectations that if you have, you need to change. By changing certain expectations in your life, you are opening yourself up to new experiences, new ways of thinking and even a greater sense of accomplishment that you otherwise could not have received.

有些期待很美好，而有些則無(wú)益。下面列出應(yīng)該改變的期待。調(diào)整對(duì)生活的某些期待，你會(huì)迎來(lái)新體驗(yàn)和新思維，甚至還能獲得前所未有的成就感。

1. Stop Expecting People to be Perfect:

停止期待別人盡善盡美

If you have this mindset, you will always be disappointed. People will never live up to your expectations. There’s nothing wrong with having high expectations for people, but understand that when they fail, and they will, they still tried. Be understanding and don’t expect perfection.

如果你總要求別人做到完美，那你必然一直失望，因?yàn)槿藗冇肋h(yuǎn)也不可能達(dá)到你的期望。對(duì)人有很高的期望其實(shí)也無(wú)可厚非，但請(qǐng)記?。壕退銓?duì)方?jīng)]能做到，他們也盡力了。所以請(qǐng)多加體諒，不要苛求完美。

2. Stop Expecting the Worst from People:

停止預(yù)料別人糟糕透頂

On the flip side, if you’re always expecting people to fail, you’re not giving them the chance to succeed. Encourage those around you. Help them, teach them. That’s how they will grow and be able to accomplish hard things.

反之，如果你總覺(jué)得別人會(huì)栽跟頭，那等于是在扼殺他們成功的機(jī)會(huì)。你應(yīng)該多鼓勵(lì)他們、幫助他們、指導(dǎo)他們。這樣他們才能成長(zhǎng)并征服困難。

3. Stop Expecting People to Pay for You:

停止期望別人為你買單

Your finances are your responsibility. You shouldn’t expect people to pay for your entertainment, your bills or even your groceries. Get in control of your money. Once you have a budget, stick to it. Just because all your friends go out to lunch doesn’t mean you have to. There are differences between needs and wants—if you want something, save up for it; don’t expect your friends or family to pitch in and get it for you.

你應(yīng)該為自己的經(jīng)濟(jì)狀況負(fù)責(zé)，不要期望別人請(qǐng)你出去玩、給你買單或付菜錢。管好自己的錢袋，制定預(yù)算并堅(jiān)持執(zhí)行。朋友全都在外吃飯并不表示你必須跟著去。“需要”和“渴望”是有區(qū)別的：如果你渴望什么，那就自己存錢，不要妄想親友買了送給你。

4. Stop Expecting Things to Always Go Wrong:

停止擔(dān)憂萬(wàn)事不順

Whatever streak of bad luck you may think you’ve been having, you shouldn’t come to expect that out of everything. Learn to stay positive. If you look for the good in things you will find them, and it’s the same with bad things. If your whole focus is on situations never turning out how you want them to, they never will.

不管你覺(jué)得自己現(xiàn)在有多倒霉，也不要因此意象出無(wú)數(shù)噩運(yùn)。學(xué)會(huì)保持積極樂(lè)觀。如果你心懷美好，就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)美好;反之亦然。要是你一心以為一切都不會(huì)變成期望的那樣，結(jié)果還真會(huì)事與愿違。

5. Stop Expecting Fairness in Everything:

停止期望一切公平

Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes you don’t get the recognition or reward for your hard work; that’s just how it is. Learn to be ok with giving something your all and not expecting anything in return.

生活并非一直公平。有時(shí)你辛勤工作卻得不到認(rèn)可或獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，事實(shí)就是如此。所以要放寬心胸：付出所有，但不要期待任何回報(bào)。

6. Stop Expecting Things to be Easy:

停止期望凡事簡(jiǎn)單容易

If you only ever do the simplest things, you’ll never do anything great. Life is hard. Trials will come your way that you don’t feel prepared for. But know that you can stay strong and do hard things. Anything worth achieving in life requires hard work, diligence and self-discipline. If you only strive for mediocrity, that’s all you’ll ever be.

如果總是挑簡(jiǎn)單的事做，那你永遠(yuǎn)成不了大器。生活會(huì)在始料不及時(shí)考驗(yàn)?zāi)?，所以你必須挑?zhàn)困難、保持堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。世上任何值得擁有的東西都需要付諸努力、勤奮和自律。倘若自甘平庸，那你就會(huì)變得庸碌無(wú)為。

7. Stop Expecting Something for Nothing:

停止期望不勞而獲

If you don’t put any effort into accomplishing something you want, you’re not going to get the results you desire. If you want to lose weight, you have to make changes by eating healthy and exercising. You can’t eat what you want, when you want and still expect to look amazing. If you want something, then work your hardest to achieve it.

若是渴望得到卻又不付諸努力，那你絕不會(huì)取得期望的成就。想要減肥?那就開(kāi)始健康飲食、規(guī)律運(yùn)動(dòng)吧。若還是任著性子亂吃，你永遠(yuǎn)也不可能變得苗條美麗!若有所渴望，那就全力以赴去爭(zhēng)取!

8. Stop Expecting People to Change:

停止期望別人有所改變

People are habitual. We like things to be constant. It’s comfortable. We can change, but it takes time. If you desire someone else to change, you need to start with yourself. You don’t have the power to change anyone other than yourself, and once you realize that, your life will be a lot happier.

人都依戀習(xí)慣，喜歡萬(wàn)事固定不變、舒服穩(wěn)妥。雖然改變也行，但卻耗費(fèi)時(shí)間。要是你期望別人有所改變，那就先從改變自己開(kāi)始吧。你的力量只在于改變自己，而非其他任何人;一旦意識(shí)到這點(diǎn)，生活會(huì)變得舒心很多。

9. Stop Expecting People to Drop Everything for You:

停止期望別人為你放棄一切

You’re not the only one who has bad days. Friends and family members should be someone you can count on to help you when life gets hard, but don’t abuse these relationships. Learn to take care of yourself. Being independent is healthy. You shouldn’t have to insist that you do everything on your own, but you don’t want to keep putting your friends and family members in a position that causes them to miss out on important events in their lives because they are helping you.

世上不幸的人何止你一個(gè)。遭遇坎坷時(shí)，固然可以向親朋好友尋求撫慰，但請(qǐng)不要濫求無(wú)度。學(xué)會(huì)照顧好自己，能夠獨(dú)立才是健康。你當(dāng)然可以自力更生，而且不要使你的親友因?yàn)閹椭愣e(cuò)失他們自己生活中的重要事情。

Having expectations is about finding balance in life. You have to know when you’re asking too much and when you can ask for more. It can be hard but we all need to let go of our unrealistic expectations and learn to live a healthier, happier life.

有所期待是為了找到生活平衡。你必須清楚自己何時(shí)索求太多、何時(shí)又可再多點(diǎn)期盼。當(dāng)然，這點(diǎn)做起來(lái)不容易，但我們總得拋開(kāi)不切實(shí)際的期望，努力過(guò)上健康快樂(lè)的生活吧?