經(jīng)典英文詩(shī)歌散文：什么叫朋友

A Faraway Friend is someone you grew up with or went to school with or lived in the same town as until one of you moved away. Without a Faraway Friend, you would never get any mail addressed in handwriting. A Faraway Friend calls late at night, invites you to her wedding, always says she is coming to visit but rarely shows up. An actual visit from a Faraway Friend is a cause for celebration and binges of all kinds.

遠(yuǎn)方的朋友是這樣的一個(gè)人：和你從小一同長(zhǎng)大的，或者是同學(xué)，或者和你原本住在同一個(gè)鎮(zhèn)上，后來(lái)你們中的一人搬到了別處。沒有一位遠(yuǎn)方的朋友，你連一封手寫的信都收不到。遠(yuǎn)方的朋友會(huì)半夜打來(lái)電話，邀請(qǐng)你去參加她的婚禮，她總是說(shuō)要來(lái)看你，卻很少露面。要是真的來(lái)訪，那才叫“不亦樂(lè)乎”，各種名目的狂歡可就有了理由。

Faraway friends go through phases of intense communication, then maybe out of touch for many months. Either way, the connection is always there. A conversation with your Faraway Friend always helps to put your life in perspective: When you feel you’ve hit a dead end, come to a confusing fork in the road, or gotten lost in some cracker-box subdivision of your life, the advice of the Faraway Friend — who has the big picture, who is so well acquainted with the route that brought you to this place — is indispensable.

兩個(gè)遠(yuǎn)方的朋友會(huì)經(jīng)歷密切交流的階段，接下來(lái)或許幾個(gè)月都不聯(lián)系。但無(wú)論聯(lián)系與否，友誼永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)改變。與遠(yuǎn)方的朋友一席長(zhǎng)談，總是有助于你更好地認(rèn)識(shí)生活;當(dāng)你覺得自己走入了死胡同時(shí)，當(dāng)你面對(duì)岔路而不知所措時(shí)，來(lái)自遠(yuǎn)方朋友的忠告就越發(fā)不可或缺，她看得清大局，完全了解你是怎么走到這一步的。

Another useful function of the Faraway Friend is to help you remember things from a long time ago, like the name of your seventh-grade history teacher, what was in that really good stir-fry, or exactly what happened that night on the boat with the guys from Florida.

遠(yuǎn)方的朋友還有一個(gè)益處，就是能讓你記起很久以前的事情，比如七年級(jí)歷史老師的名字，那盤炒菜里究竟什么東西那么好吃，或者那天晚上在船里和佛羅里達(dá)來(lái)的男孩子們都干了些什么。

Ah, the former friend. A sad thing. At best a wistful memory, at worst a dangerous enemy who is in possession of many of your deepest secrets. But what was it that drove you apart? A misunderstanding, a betrayed confidence, an underpaid loan, an ill-conceived flirtation. A poor choice of spouse can do in a friendship just like that. Going into business together can be a serious mistake. Time, money, distance, cult religions: all noted friendship killers. You quit doing drugs, you’re not such good friends with your dealer anymore.

啊，從前的朋友。讓人憂傷的事情。好了的話是一段傷感的記憶，不好的話你有一個(gè)危險(xiǎn)的敵人，而且對(duì)你許多最隱秘的事情都了如指掌。可究竟是什么把你們分開的呢?一個(gè)誤解，一個(gè)被泄露的秘密，一筆沒有償還的借款，一次有欠考慮的輕俏之舉。擇偶不慎也會(huì)使友誼分崩離析;一起做生意會(huì)成為一個(gè)嚴(yán)重的錯(cuò)誤;時(shí)間、金錢、距離、宗教狂熱，這都是耳熟能詳?shù)挠颜x殺手。如同一旦你戒了毒，你就不再是你供貨商的好朋友了。

And lest we forget, there are the Friends You Love to Hate. They call at inopportune times. They say stupid things. They butt in, they boss you around, they embarrass you in public. They invite themselves over. They take advantage. You’ve done the best you can, but they need professional help. On top of all this, they love you to death and are convinced they’re your best friends on the planet.

而且我們別忘了：還有些朋友，你喜歡恨他們。他們?cè)诓贿m當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)候打電話，他們蠢話連篇，他們胡亂插手你的事情，他們把你指使得團(tuán)團(tuán)亂轉(zhuǎn)，他們總是占盡了你的便宜。你已經(jīng)盡了最大的努力，可他們需要的其實(shí)是專業(yè)人員的幫助。這一切之外，他們還愛你愛得要死要活，深信他們是你在這個(gè)世界上最好的朋友。

So why do you continue to be involved with these people? Why do you tolerate them? On the contrary, the real question is what would you do without them. Without Friends You Love to Hate, there would be nothing to talk about with your other friends. Their problems and their irritating stunts provide a reliable source of conversation for everyone they know.

那么你又為什么繼續(xù)和他們打交道呢?為什么要容忍他們呢?反過(guò)來(lái)說(shuō)，真正的問(wèn)題是：沒有他們你行嗎?沒有這些你寧可去憎恨的朋友，你和你別的朋友也就無(wú)話可說(shuō)了。他們的缺陷和他們惱人的噱頭，為他們認(rèn)識(shí)的每一個(gè)人都提供了源源不斷的談資。

What’s more, Friends You Love to Hate make you feel good about yourself, since you are obviously in so much better shape than they are. No matter what these people do, you will never get rid of them. As much as they need you, you need them, too.

此外，他們還能使你對(duì)自己感覺良好，因?yàn)槟愕臓顩r顯然比他們好得太多。不管他們做出什么事情來(lái)，你絕對(duì)不愿擺脫他們。你對(duì)他們的需要，和他們對(duì)你的需要可謂不相上下呢。

At the other end of the spectrum are Hero Friends. These people are better than the rest of us, that’s all there is to it. Their career is something you wanted to be when you grew up — painter, forest ranger, tireless doer of good.

與此相反的另一個(gè)極端則是那些令人艷羨的朋友。他們比我們這些人都更出色，有這一點(diǎn)就夠了。他們的事業(yè)就是你長(zhǎng)大后的追求——畫家、護(hù)林人，不知疲倦的行善者。

They have beautiful homes filled with special handmade things presented to them by villagers in the remote areas they have visited in their extensive travels. Yet they are modest. They never gossip. They are always helping others, especially those who have suffered a death in the family or an illness. You would think people like this would just make you sick, but somehow they don’t.

他們擁有漂亮的房子，里面滿是手工做的奇特玩意兒，都是他們周游世界時(shí)到過(guò)的邊遠(yuǎn)地區(qū)的村民總送給他們的?？伤麄円琅f待人謙和。他們從不饒舌。他們總是去幫助別人，特別是那些遭受喪失親人之痛或疾病折磨的人。你會(huì)認(rèn)為這種人只能讓你厭倦，可他們偏偏不是那樣。

A new friend is a tonic unlike any other. Say you meet her at a party. In your bowling league. At a Japanese conversation class, perhaps. Wherever, whenever, there’s that spark of recognition. The first time you talk, you can’t believe how much you have in common. Suddenly, your life story is interesting again, your insights fresh, your opinion valued. Your various shortcomings are as yet completely invisible.

新的朋友是一劑無(wú)可比擬的良藥。也許你是在一次聚會(huì)上結(jié)識(shí)她的，也許是在保齡球俱樂(lè)部里，也許是日語(yǔ)會(huì)話課上。無(wú)論何處，無(wú)論何時(shí)，只因?yàn)椴脸隽四晴娦市氏嘞У幕鸹?。你?jiǎn)直無(wú)法相信你們有這么多共同點(diǎn)，而且只是第一次交談。突然間，你的經(jīng)歷又變得有趣了，你的見識(shí)不同凡響，你的意見也倍受重視。你各式各樣的缺點(diǎn)一時(shí)間也完全消失不見了。