新視野大學英語讀寫教程第三冊unit4-c Life in Low-Grade Terror

Section (C)

Life in Low-Grade Terror

The phone rang, and I grabbed it as fast as I could. "Thank you for calling the Psychic Network (通靈熱線)," I said as I started my presentation. "I read tarot cards(塔羅特紙牌). I'm mixing the cards now; tell me when it feels right to stop." As usual, I made noises with the cards without bothering to mix them, much less read them.

The first time I saw a psychic television commercial (通靈大師電視商業(yè)廣告), I wasn't as interested in the famous people advertising the service as I was in ordinary people talking about the life-transforming psychic help they had received. As I recall, an office manager said her psychic (通靈大師) told her that the first man she talked to at a Christmas (圣誕) party would become her husband — now they're married and expecting a child.

A housewife who lost her cat found it in the exact place predicted. But the satisfied customers — mostly women — didn't look like they could afford $3.99 a minute to talk to a psychic on the phone. At the time, I was a struggling writer. I decided to get a job as a psychic and then write about it.

To start my career, I took a nine-hour class with a fast-talking woman who made a living reading tarot cards at psychic fairs and for private customers. At the end of the course, I still felt like a beginner, so I studied the scientific reasons why tarot cards work. Israeli researchers suggest that there is a similarity between tarot readings and the plots of popular folk tales. By laying out a few cards, you create a story as appealing as a fairy tale, with your client as the hero. People are amazed at your "insight" because most are so vain (愛虛榮的) they can't imagine how much they have in common with the rest of the population.

To further prepare myself, I offered readings to friends, including a scientist who makes a career of proving popular beliefs to be false. My friend laughed as I laid out his cards and gave my introduction. But soon his laughter faded, and later he told me he was astonished that my reading was so " accurate" .

I figured I was ready. I called the Psychic Readers Network, which immediately mailed me an application. Soon someone from their personnel department called, and I gave a reading. "Great," she said. "You can start immediately." First I had to learn a long list of instructions: Always pick up the phone by the second ring. Never answer specific questions before doing a "general reading". This would take up a lot of time and keep the client on the line past the first two minutes that Psychic Readers offered free.

The call could last as long as 55 minutes, which (after taking away the two free minutes) translated into a telephone bill of $211.47. I kept the conversation going by asking for a full name and address "so we can send you tickets for reduced price readings." At the end I was required to say, "For adults and entertainment only." All this was strengthened by the message I listened to each time I phoned in to work. "Come on, guys," it said. "Make sure you write down the full mailing address. We have six people testing every psychic every month. We will see if you're doing everything properly."

With this pace, I lived in low-grade terror — and I was only a part-time worker. Imagine people trying to make a living at this job. Most were women working 20 to 40 hours a week on the phone. For the $3.99 they earned each minute for the company, they kept only 25 cents in base pay — with no other benefits. Each week a computer totals the average length of your calls; if it is under 14 minutes, you're in trouble.

You learn to cultivate the callers who increase your average as they take you through long stories of crisis and loneliness. One woman lived eight miles from town, had a drinking problem and thought she was pregnant. She couldn't figure out what to do. I asked if she'd been to the doctor to see if she really was pregnant. No. She'd rather have the cards tell her. "Well," I said, "the cards show you'll be going to a store and buying a pregnancy (懷孕) test."

Then I got my first call from Teneecia — suicidal(有自殺傾向的) with a recently dead boyfriend. Hers was the most extreme crisis I'd ever confronted, and at first I was terribly afraid. Then, without thinking rationally, I leapt into action. "Teneecia," I said. "Your boyfriend knows how much you love him. But he wants you to stay where you are, alive, and be a mother to his baby. And I want you to call me any time. Here's my home phone. Forget the psychic network — it's way too expensive." "Really?" Teneecia responded. "Oh, thank you. You're my psychic friend." I hung up and wept.

Before long, I dialed Psychic Readers Network to discuss their business and people like Teneecia. But nobody got back to me. I sent a note informing them I was leaving. Since then, I've heard that the psychic-talk business is doing poorly and that phone psychics have been considering another form of telephone work: phone sex. Same money, slightly different dialog.

And the work, it's said, is much easier.