職場笑話：8、 You vs your boss 你和你的上司

8. You vs your boss

When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot1. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority2. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative3.

When you take a stand4, you're being bull-headed5.When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping6. When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Notes:

1. idiot 蠢貨

2. overstep one's authority 超越權(quán)限

3. initiative 創(chuàng)造性

4. take a stand 表態(tài)，表明立場

5. bull-headed 固執(zhí)

6. arse-creeping 拍馬屁

你和你的上司

當你做事花費很長時間時，你是效率低；當你的上司做事花費很長時間時，他是精益求精、盡善盡美。

當你不做這件事時，你是懶惰；當你的上司不做這件事時，他是太忙了。

當你犯錯誤時，你是傻瓜；當你的上司犯錯誤時，他終究是人啊（人總會犯錯誤的）。

當你不經(jīng)同意就做某事時，你是越權(quán)；而你的上司做同樣的事情時，那叫有創(chuàng)造性。

當你堅持己見時，你是固執(zhí)；當你的上司這樣做時，他是堅定不移。

當你取悅你的上司時，你是在拍馬屁；而你的上司取悅他的老板時，那叫團結(jié)協(xié)作。

當你在辦公室外被人看到時，你是四處閑逛；當你的上司在辦公室外被人看到時，他是在出差忙業(yè)務(wù)。

當你請了一天病假時，你這個人怎么老請病假；當你的上司請了一天病假時，他的病一定很重。

當你申請離職時，你一定是去別處應(yīng)聘求職了；當你的上司申請離職時，那是因為他工作過量了。

Useful link:

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