職場笑話：1、 Bribery 賄賂

1. Bribery

A man, who had a case for damages impending1 at the Law Courts, inquired of his solicitor2 the name of the judge who would preside3.

I expect it will be So and So, replied the solicitor. "Why do you ask?" "Well, I was thinking that I'd send him a box of good cigars or something like that."

My dear sir, the thing's unheard of. You would lay yourself open to a very serious indictment4, and would certainly lose your case.

Later, after the case had been brought to a successful conclusion, the client remarked, "Well, it looks as though that little donation5 to the judge feller6 did a bit of good, eh?"

You don't mean to say that you carried out that foolish idea in spite of my advice?

Yes, I did. Only I don't think you got my idea quite right. You see, I sent them in the other feller's name!

Notes:

1. impending 即將，迫在眉睫的

2. solicitor 律師

3. preside 主持

4. indictment 起訴書

5. donation 捐贈

6. feller （fellow的口語）家伙

賄　賂

一位男士有一樁賠償損失案就要在法庭上開審了，他向他的律師打聽法庭庭長的姓名。

“我想大概是某某人”，律師回答說?！澳銌栠@個(gè)干什么？”

“噢，我想給他送去一盒上等雪茄或類似東西?！?

“親愛的先生，這種事可沒聽說過。你是明擺著要受到嚴(yán)厲的指控，你肯定要敗訴的?！?

后來，在官司打贏之后，這位委托人說：

“嗨，看來給那個(gè)法官的小小贈禮還起了一點(diǎn)兒作用呢，嗯？”

“你不會說你不聽我的勸告干了那件傻事吧？”

“是的，我干了。只是你沒有完全理解我的意思。你看，我是以對方的名義送去的。”

Useful link:

英國的律師有兩種：一種是出庭律師（Barrister），專門出庭控辯；一種是事務(wù)律師（Solicitor），專門負(fù)責(zé)接待當(dāng)事人，處理非訴訟業(yè)務(wù)，很少出庭，要出庭也大多只是在初級法院?？蛻羰紫日业绞聞?wù)律師，他／她接到案件后，將之交給一個(gè)出庭律師。