飲食笑話：5、 Baked beans 烘焙豆

5. Baked beans

A man had a passion for baked beans One day, he ate a lot of baked beans in a cafe. All the way home he had gas.

His wife seemed excited to see him, told him she would give him the most wonderful surprise. She blindfolded1 him and led him to his chair at the dining room table. Just as she was to remove the blindfold, the phone rang.

Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg and let the gas go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin2 from his lap and fanned the air about him. When he felt another urge coming on, he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again, then he made a third fart3. Yet somehow his wife didn't hear him. While keeping his ear on the phone conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked4. He assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise—Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!

Notes:

1. blindfold 蒙眼

2. napkin 餐巾

3. fart 放屁

4. peek 窺視

烘焙豆

有個(gè)男子很喜歡吃烘焙豆，一天，他在咖啡廳里吃了很多烘焙豆。于是，在回家的路上，他就一直在放屁。

他的妻子見(jiàn)到他時(shí)似乎很興奮，并且告訴他有最美妙的驚喜給他。她用東西蒙住他的眼睛并把他領(lǐng)著坐到了餐廳他的座位上，正要把遮擋物拿開(kāi)時(shí)，電話響了。

抓住她去接電話的機(jī)會(huì)，他把重心移到一只腳偷偷放了個(gè)屁。聲音不大，但是很臭。他摸索著從腿上拿起餐布在身體四周扇著。腸胃又一陣不舒服，他把重心移到另一只腳又放了一個(gè)，接著的第三個(gè)聲音很響，然而他妻子并沒(méi)有聽(tīng)見(jiàn)。側(cè)耳聽(tīng)著客廳里的電話，他用力地扇著餐布直到聽(tīng)見(jiàn)那邊電話說(shuō)再見(jiàn)，這意味著他不能再肆無(wú)忌憚了。

在為自己去了這么久表示道歉后，妻子問(wèn)他有沒(méi)有偷看。他向她保證自己沒(méi)有。然后，妻子把他眼睛上的遮擋物拿開(kāi)了，他目瞪口呆地發(fā)現(xiàn)，桌子周圍坐著12位客人等著給他以驚喜來(lái)慶祝他的生日！

Useful link:

英、美等國(guó)有這樣的習(xí)慣，朋友們約好一起在過(guò)生日的那個(gè)人回家之前悄悄藏起來(lái)，等他／她一開(kāi)門(mén)突然一起出現(xiàn)并大叫“Surprise！”給過(guò)生日的人以驚喜。