| 51 |
| A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men |
| are so polite they only look at the covered parts. |
| 52 |
| What goes up and down but never moves? |
| - |
| The stairs! |
| 53 |
| Doctor says to his patient: "You have cancer and Alzheimer." |
| - |
| Patient: "At least I don't have cancer." |
| 54 |
| A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the |
| road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding |
| the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” |
| The husband: “Are you |
| mad? I barely know the woman!” |
| 55 |
| Little Johnny asks his father: |
| "Where does the wind come from?" |
| - |
| "I don't know." |
| - |
| "Why do dogs bark?" |
| - |
| "I don't know." |
| - |
| "Why is the earth |
| round?" |
| - |
| "I don't know." |
| - |
| "Does it disturb you that I ask so |
| much?" |
| - |
| "No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn |
| anything." |
| 56 |
| Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a |
| magic genie lamp. |
| The genie grants each of them one wish. |
| The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted. |
| The second |
| guy wishes the same. Wish granted. |
| The third guy says, "It feels |
| very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted. |
| 57 |
| They threw me out of the cinema today for bringing my own food. But come |
| on – the prices are way too high, plus I haven’t had a barbecue in months. |
| 58 |
| Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t |
| appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out |
| his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is |
| dead! What can I do?" |
| The operator says "Please stay calm. I will |
| help you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead." |
| There’s a |
| silence, then a gun shot. The guy gets back on the phone and says "OK, now |
| what?" |
| 59 |
| I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at |
| first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a |
| good chance of winning. |
