20 |
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the |
bull’s testicles. |
- |
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the |
waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?” |
- |
The waiter: “Today, |
sir, the bull won.” |
21 |
Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery. |
The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, |
Lord! |
The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, |
make me win the lottery! |
Suddenly he hears a voice from above: |
Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket. |
22 |
“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door |
opens…” |
“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a |
serious discount on that car!” |
23 |
A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the |
road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding |
the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” |
The husband: “Are |
you mad? I barely know that woman!” |
24 |
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So |
anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we |
will bring you one. |
25 |
Police: “Open the door!” |
- |
Man: “I don’t want any balls!” |
- |
Police: “What? We don’t have any balls!” |
- |
Man: “I know.” |
26 |
In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can |
you tell me how to throw the old one away?" |
27 |
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. |
- |
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too. |
28 |
Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed |
me yesterday?” |
Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?” |
Mr. Smith: |
“I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!” |
29 |
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem? |
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? |
Doctor: Because you came in |
through the window instead of the door. |