10個(gè)超逗的英語(yǔ)笑話(中英對(duì)照)

1. Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

杰克騎車(chē)摔傷,得住院治療.一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填.仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護(hù)士問(wèn). "有!"杰克想了想說(shuō),"我是個(gè)單身漢."

2. Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.

妻子:你看這張報(bào)紙,據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì),死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.

丈夫:那有什么?據(jù)我調(diào)查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃飯的.

3. "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."

"Yours?Can you prove it?"

"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

"請(qǐng)?jiān)?你占了我的位置."

"你的位置?你能征明這點(diǎn)嗎?"

"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."

4. One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"

Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

一天,夏娃問(wèn)亞當(dāng):"你當(dāng)真愛(ài)我嗎?"

亞當(dāng)無(wú)可奈何地回答:"我還有的選擇嗎?"

5. Always Thirsty 總感到口渴

"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

"No, but I am always thirsty!"

一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說(shuō)：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”

“真是太糟糕了!”朋友說(shuō)道：“你覺(jué)得疼嗎?”

“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。”

6. A Useful Way 一個(gè)有效的方法

Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

Father: What"s that got to do with it?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝這么多水呀?

杰克：我剛才吃了個(gè)蘋(píng)果，爸爸。

爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什么關(guān)系呢?

杰克：我忘了洗蘋(píng)果呀。

7. A Present 凱特的禮物

Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

Mom: No, Honey, what?

Kate: A nice teapot.

Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.

Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.

凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?

媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀?

凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。

媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。

凱特：不，你沒(méi)有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。

8. The Doctor Knows Better 醫(yī)生懂得多

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."

"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車(chē)撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“我想他傷得很厲害。”

醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”

聽(tīng)到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說(shuō)：“我沒(méi)死，我還活著。”

妻子說(shuō)：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多。”

9. Waste or Save? 浪費(fèi)還是節(jié)約

Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?

Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?

父親：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?

杰克：我知道，爸爸?？晌疫€給您節(jié)省了一頓飯呢，是不是?

10. Why Is He Howling 他為什么喊

Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.

Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!

牙醫(yī)：請(qǐng)你不要再喊了!我還沒(méi)碰你的牙呢。

病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀!