老友記第六季The One With The Routinue
- 聽力原文
- 參考譯文
有個(gè)問題，為什么現(xiàn)在每個(gè)人都喜歡用這么小的燈？記得過去人們都用大些的燈俄 這個(gè)故事不錯(cuò)哦，爺爺 嘿/嘿 歐，monica竟然讓別人裝飾他的圣誕樹！是不是誰把他灌醉了，要不....? 一個(gè)完美裝點(diǎn)的圣誕樹并不是圣誕的真正意義 真正意義能和你所愛的人在一起 不錯(cuò)哦我們搞定了 tata ! 我不知道這是什么玩意，對我來說感覺不像圣誕 哦，瞧這邊 哦現(xiàn)在有些圣誕的感覺了 這就是dreidel的故事，現(xiàn)在人們把圣誕樹（的起源）追述到埃及人 他們過去常常在每年最短的一天把綠色的小樹枝帶回他們的家，以此來象征生命對于死亡的勝利。這似乎是4000年前的事了 好像和你開始講這故事的時(shí)間差不多 嘿，大家好啊 嘿，joe怎么了 我不得不從家里逃出來，janine在整個(gè)屋子里折騰。你知道，隨便在哪里她怎么看都.... 我知道為什么難以抵抗了 我非常喜歡她 哦，我很遺憾甜心她沒有這么感覺 我知道，他這么迷人，我只是想...喂喂她點(diǎn)葡萄給他梳梳頭發(fā) 你應(yīng)該意識到她可不是一只猴子吧 我對janine沒什么感覺了。我的意思是，起先我覺她爆性感，但現(xiàn)在沒這回事了 嘿 伙計(jì)們/hi janine ! 剛才我接到個(gè)電話，讓我在新年前夕的電視特別節(jié)目演一個(gè)跳舞的，那節(jié)目好像叫什么Dick'n Rock'n Dickie Eve 慢！你是指Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve？ 也,我說的就是這個(gè) 哦天哪，我喜歡這個(gè)節(jié)目！我和ross從很小的時(shí)候就開始看這個(gè)了 我知道你骨子里還一直是那個(gè)肥婆（雖然現(xiàn)在外表看上去不是了）不是嗎？ 今年我要上這節(jié)目，我會成為這派隊(duì)的一員 你也要上這節(jié)目？他們可酷斃了 他們說要我?guī)┤巳?，你愿意做我的舞伴嗎?絕對！我太愿意和你一起度過新年 事實(shí)上明天他們就要拍了，我不知道為什么 哦，讓我告訴你怎么回事，Dick Clark在時(shí)代廣場的部分事實(shí)上是現(xiàn)場直播的，但是他們把派隊(duì)的部分事先拍好了 yeah，不是很多人都知道 那么，你們打算一起來嗎？ 你沒開玩笑吧 我們當(dāng)然去 什么，你在笑什么? well,我過去常常和他約會，但你還在和他交往哦 謝謝，太棒了我們都一起去。我得先走了，回頭見 Bye! / Bye Janine! 他是不是剛剛約我出去？ 我不這么認(rèn)為 你在說什么啊？她剛剛不是約他去千禧年最大的派隊(duì) 也，但她也約了你和ross，也，甜心，我很遺憾，我不認(rèn)為那會是件很浪漫的事 哦，可能吧。我知道該怎么辦，我們要參加新年派隊(duì)。對吧? 然后在午夜，我可以吻她，然后要是她吻回我....太棒了 你知道？但是要是她說“伙計(jì)你到底在干什么?。?？”我可以說“不是我，是新年” well,這可比ross在高中時(shí)要吻我的理由好多了，他那時(shí)候吻了我后說他只是想要抹點(diǎn)唇膏（用于防止嘴唇干裂） 那天很干燥 我們要去Dick Clark's的新年派隊(duì)！/ Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! ok,聽著我過去參加過這個(gè)。所以讓我給你點(diǎn)小建議，怎樣？這是個(gè)秀，但是我們只不過跳舞，沒什么大不了的 最重要的....冷靜點(diǎn) 知道了 Oh my God 這就像我夢見的一樣 大家集中一下 讓一讓 我們接下來要做這些。音樂會響起來，你們跳起舞來，我們就開拍，別看著攝影機(jī) 有什么問題嗎？ 也，我有個(gè)問題，什么時(shí)候播這個(gè)？ 俄，也?，F(xiàn)在你們在那里跳，你們在那里，我要你們倆人就在這里，大家分散行動(dòng)了 ross!到底什么時(shí)候播啊？ okay，你們到廚房里找，我到廁所里找 我在這里啊，女士們，我可以幫你們節(jié)省時(shí)間 也，chandler 為什么不去散散步呢？這和你無關(guān) 我們在找monica給我們準(zhǔn)備的圣誕禮物 什么？這可不好！ 不-不，我們每年都這么干 哦，呢看起來不會太糟 不，也。我們從沒找到過！她藏的真的很....這個(gè)濺人 別擔(dān)憂，我們現(xiàn)在這里找1個(gè)小時(shí)，然后么我們?nèi)oey那里找找，ok? 不，不好，你不能找monica的禮物 但我們一定要 不，你不能，不能因?yàn)槲以谶@里（雖然monica不在） 那么.....你幫我們一起找 為什么 chandler，你難道不想知道m(xù)onica給你準(zhǔn)備了什么圣誕禮物？ 不，我給她準(zhǔn)備的很不錯(cuò) 哦，就因?yàn)檫@個(gè)？很不錯(cuò) chandler,這不夠。我的意思是要是她給了一個(gè)爆酷的...2個(gè)一般的...一對很垃圾的禮物？ 然后你給了她一個(gè)酷斃了的，那會使她感覺很糟的，你怎么能這樣對她？為什么？為什么？ 要是我?guī)兔?，我們能快點(diǎn)找到！/沒錯(cuò)！ 哦！我找到一個(gè)！ 哦，這是macy的包包 哦，這會是給誰的呢？ 親愛的失敗者，你真的認(rèn)為我會把禮物藏在沙發(fā)下面？附注，chandler我知道他們會把你一起拖下水 哦！她一定在監(jiān)視我們 我們今年一定要找到！ 你知道當(dāng)你們說你們要穿過大廳（到那里）去找，你沒有，你們沒有每年都干過這個(gè)吧？ Yeah.(我們找過啊) 你沒有，到我的洗手間后面，到我的運(yùn)動(dòng)包里找過吧... 不，我們沒找過呢里 因?yàn)閖oey要給我東西前會先藏的地方可我這輩子都沒找過那里 okay,這是不可能的! okay,有過來一個(gè)攝影機(jī) 沒錯(cuò)，沒什么大不了的，放松點(diǎn) 為什么他們老是這樣 如果我們想上鏡頭，我想們應(yīng)該上那個(gè)梯臺，他們一直在拍那上面的人 沒錯(cuò) 嘿，你們干了什么他們讓你上梯臺的啊？ 我學(xué)過怎么跳舞 哦，也？當(dāng)你學(xué)會怎么跳舞的時(shí)候你是不是忘記了怎么穿褲子？/也 嘿！你跳的真不錯(cuò) 真的嗎？ 也，你要是把你的臀部放松點(diǎn)會好些 你什么意思 像這樣 就這樣，感覺一下旋律，好些了 Uh-huh. okay,你和那邊那個(gè)女孩去跳舞 不=不=不=不 我們是一起的 我不這么認(rèn)為.你和那個(gè)高個(gè)的跳舞.高個(gè)，舉一下你的手 不=不 嘿，朋友，讓我和那個(gè)女孩跳舞吧，我真的喜歡她我覺得我有機(jī)會... 真的，你真得這么認(rèn)為？我不.... joey那邊我什么都找不到，嘿嘿 哦黑 這是我們找到的.在廁所里衣服下面的 也，你沒什么可以擔(dān)憂的因?yàn)槎际切├?這是我的禮物，為你們準(zhǔn)備的 哦，謝謝chandler 真得很棒 well chandler，這是什么很奇怪，金屬A Z? 這是書夾，很棒的東東 哦，okay，我很抱歉，謝謝你為我的屁股準(zhǔn)備的 Ha! 你們把這些東西放回洗手間，okay !? yes,okay,oh,順便我有些話要說，我想你真得很不錯(cuò)，甚至在你搬走之后，你仍保存著joey的東西 嘿嘿 跳舞的女孩，我可以去一下洗手間嗎？我有點(diǎn)...讓我們走 geller 家的看上去真cool 我們知道 嘿，看到那邊那個(gè)脾氣急躁的家伙嗎？ 他就是決定誰上梯臺的家伙，我們應(yīng)該到他旁邊去跳 Okay. okay,大家停一下 接下來上梯臺的是你們兩個(gè) 還有你們倆 對不起，先生，要是我不穿褲子是不是有用？/monica! 怎樣？ 嘿！高個(gè)！嘿，聽著，我想和你談?wù)勀莻€(gè)和你一起跳舞女孩的事 她很不錯(cuò)，huh?我覺得我老婆差不多就是她 * Yeah, yeah, okay. 朋友，我是和她一起來的，我還有個(gè)新年到來時(shí)吻她的計(jì)劃,我正在試圖贏取她的芳心 所以我在想...../不，我不這么認(rèn)為 哦 朋友，你可以和我的舞伴跳舞，她真的...很“西瓜“ 你有沒有和你帶來的那個(gè)女孩約會？ well,我正希望今夜之后可能...你知道 不，不 對誰來說都是公平的 對不起 朋友 好的，好的，嘿！你知道公平....你是對的...我該說些什么呢，但是嘿 不 天哪！你在干什么？你兩年級嗎？ 嘿，現(xiàn)在是你把他的褲子弄濕了 糟透了！你知道要是我們弄得老爸老媽如此嫉妒而我們最后我們卻沒上電視，我的意思是,誰會變成失敗者？ 嘿，我知道我們該怎么把自己弄上那梯臺了 什么？/ The routine! Ross, 我們中學(xué)之后再也沒跳過The routine! 嘿,當(dāng)那個(gè)壞脾氣的家伙看到我們The routine他會給我們再搭一個(gè)梯臺的 真有那么好嗎? 在兄妹舞蹈的單子里我們可是被榮譽(yù)提名的哦 看,這反正是個(gè)假的午夜,我們真的還有別的選擇么? okay，讓我們干這個(gè)吧，老爸老媽一定會很有面子 （guess） 5 6 7 8! 這么，我們真的一定要問接下來誰上梯臺嗎？ 哦，不！你們快上梯臺就把剛剛跳得再來一遍 Yes! 一定要把這個(gè)拍下來，傻瓜秀的時(shí)候他們一定會要這個(gè) cut!大家聽好了，我們再次開機(jī)的時(shí)候?qū)⑹邱R上要新年的時(shí)候，所以我想看到大家興奮點(diǎn) 嘿，朋友，你有3秒鐘時(shí)間離開我的舞伴 發(fā)生什么事情了 uh，快看這個(gè)人的褲子阿，我知道，你叫大家興奮點(diǎn)，但你不覺得他有點(diǎn)過頭了 你是不是有病啊！滾遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn) 也，換一條遠(yuǎn)足防水褲吧 你能相信這個(gè)嗎？我們將在梯臺上迎接千禧年！ 我知道，黑，你沒有一直在練routine吧？ 不...(yes) 我也是 嘿，音樂再響起的時(shí)候，我想我們可以試試機(jī)器人舞 ross，我想我們還是應(yīng)該跳routine，我不想我們看起來像個(gè)傻瓜 好的，我們繼續(xù)，還差10秒了。10，9，8，7 okay, 這即將發(fā)生了.不管發(fā)生什么，那是命運(yùn) 3，2，1 Cut! / No! Year! Happy No Year! okay, 這里我們將切到時(shí)代廣場的現(xiàn)場直播，大家干得不錯(cuò) 就到這了 嘿！看我找到誰了 哦，好啊，伙計(jì)們 你知道，birds 對于方向又非常好的感覺，我覺得他們說不定能幫我們找到禮物到底藏在哪里 是啊，要是禮物為了過冬藏在南邊的話 要不我們可以跟隨你聰明的笑話？no！我不這么認(rèn)為，okay加油伙計(jì)們，告訴我們禮物到底在哪里 哦，鴨子似乎認(rèn)為monica會給我一堆垃圾!hmm,我想我能給monica些像垃圾一樣的東西呢？ hmm，我的屁屁怎么樣 嘿，這邊是空心的 什么？/這個(gè)長凳，是空心的！我簡直不相信我從來不知道這個(gè)，哦，禮物也 不，不要直接看著他們 什么 好的，不，我可以看 哦，這個(gè)是我的 哦，這個(gè)是chandler的.這呢/哦！太棒了 這個(gè)大玩意是我的 哦，讓我們打開吧！okay ! okay ! okay ! hee hee! / 等等，我們不能這樣 為什么 我不想知道m(xù)onica給我什么 你知道?我的意思是，我確信她為了給你個(gè)禮物費(fèi)了很多神，并且他想給我們個(gè)驚喜，但你們正要把這一切都?xì)Я?。我，看著，我們得把它放回?這不是monica所關(guān)心的 不管怎樣，我要開我的 沒人開任何東西 好不？看著 我不知道你們怎么想的，但是當(dāng)我monica我的禮物時(shí)我期待著看到她的表情，并且我想當(dāng)monica給我她的禮物時(shí)她同樣期待著看到我的表情 所以求求你們，我們是不是能把它放回去 除非你給我更好的禮物 好吧 hey 伙計(jì)們！你們找到了我的禮物？chandler你讓他們找到禮物的？ 太棒了！你知道我花了多長時(shí)間幫你買到凈水器嗎？ 這就是你給我的？ 哦,我知道你什么意思了，這表情看上去毫無價(jià)值 多甜美的家啊，歡迎回到現(xiàn)實(shí)中來，我們知道新年將怎么度過 我猜也沒什么理由搞什么y2k的野餐了。管它呢，晚安 Joey. / Yeah? 3, 2, 1. 新年快樂 這是為了什么？ well，我不知道今晚當(dāng)他們叫cut的時(shí)候我們沒有接吻，我真的真得很失望 我真的很想吻你 真的？此刻，我也真得很想吻你，此刻 那個(gè)時(shí)候也/那個(gè)時(shí)候 那么，你還想kiss嗎？ 當(dāng)然，新年夜只有2周了，你能等嗎？ 不 我當(dāng)然等不了了 3, 2, joey你沒必要我們每次接吻時(shí)都倒數(shù) uh,yeah,okay 除非我可能感覺我需要幾秒鐘做一下準(zhǔn)備 我們那時(shí)候正在梯臺上，準(zhǔn)備跳舞迎接y2k，那家伙竟然喊cut 等等，你們似乎在告訴我你們真的8年級以后還在跳 the routine 也.但當(dāng)然我們不得不更新一點(diǎn)東東.嘿，順便說一下你要抱我的想法真不錯(cuò) 因?yàn)槲业谜f你們不可能以過去的方法完成(the routine)最后一步 什么？我們可以做到的 我不知道，我的意思是你那個(gè)時(shí)候有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)大，我的意思是，強(qiáng)壯那個(gè)時(shí)候 我可以做到的，okay？讓我們做給你們看 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 我做不到 你現(xiàn)在要是辦得到，那你就能上電視
The One With The Routinue
[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Rachel: That’s a good story, Grandpa.
(Ross enters)
Ross: Hey
All: Hey
Ross: Wow, Monica’s letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It’s about being with the people that you love.
Phoebe: That is nice and we’re done. TADA!
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesn’t quite feel like Christmas to me.
Monica: Oh, here.
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Ross: … and that’s the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life’s triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
(Joey enters)
Joey: Hey you guys.
Chandler: Hey Joe what’s up?
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Y’know, everywhere I look she’s like… (He imitates her stretching)
Chandler: I can see why that’s hard to resist.
Joey: I like her so much!
Monica: Aw, I’m sorry sweetie that she doesn’t feel the same way.
Joey: I know. And she’s so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair.
Chandler: You are aware that she’s not a m, right?
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she’s like OLD NEWS!
(Janine enters)
Janine: Hey guys!
Ross: Hi Janine!
Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Year’s Eve. It’s called some sort of Dick’n Rock’n Dickie Eve.
Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rocking Eve?
Janine: Yeah, that’s what I said.
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Chandler: Ah, you’re still just a little fat girl inside aren’t you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Janine: Well I’m gonna be on it this year. I’m gonna be one of the party people.
Ross: You’re gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Year’s with you.
Janine: Well actually they’re taping tomorrow. I don’t really understand why.
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Janine: Yeah well, do you guys wanna come too?
Ross: Are you serious?
Monica: We are there!
(Rachel laughs)
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but you’re still going out with her!
(Gunther brings Janine a coffee)
Janine: Thanks. (To Monica and Ross) Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later!
(Janine leaves)
All: Bye!
Ross: Bye Janine!
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
Chandler: I don’t think so.
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that was a romantic thing.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Y’know? But if she says ‘Dude, what the hell are you doing?’ I can say ‘It wasn’t me, it was New Years!’
Rachel: Well, that’s a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Ross: It was a dry day.
Monica: We are going to Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rocking Eve!
Ross: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Joey: OK, listen I’ve been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? It’s a show, but we’re just dancing, OK? It’s no big deal. The important thing to remember – stay cool.
Ross: Got it!
(They get to the main stage)
Ross: Oh my God it’s just like I dreamed it!
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Monica and Ross: ‘Scuse us
Director: Here’s what’s gonna happen. The music’s gonna start, you’re gonna dance, we’re gonna tape, you don’t look at the camera. Any questions?
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
(He and Monica laugh)
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I’m right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don’t you take a walk? This doesn’t concern you.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Chandler: What? That’s terrible!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She’s always best at us that wily minx.
Rachel: Don’t worry, we’re just gonna search here for an hour, them we’re gonna go over to Joey’s and search, OK?
Chandler: No not okay, you can’t look for Monica’s presents!
Phoebe: But we have to!
Chandler: No, you don’t have to, and you can’t because I live here too.
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Chandler: Why?
Rachel: Chandler, aren’t you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, that’s it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Rachel: Chandler, that’s not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you’ve just gotten her one great present? I mean that’s just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find ‘em faster!
Rachel: That’s right!
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Rachel: Oh, it’s a Macy’s bag!
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
Phoebe: Ooh, who’s it for?
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think I’d hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they’d break you.
Phoebe: Uh-oh. She may be onto us.
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: Y’know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don’t, you don’t do that every year do you?
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: You don’t, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
(They turn away.)
Chandler: Because that’s where Joey gave me some stuff to store that I’ve never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
Monica: Okay, here comes another camera.
Ross: Right. No biggie. Stay loose.
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. They’ve been taping those people up there all day.
Ross: Right.
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
Ross: Hey, what’d you guys do to get up on there?
Girl: We learned how to dance.
Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?
Ross: Yeah!
(Camera pans to Joey and Janine)
Janine: Hey! You’re a good dancer!
Joey: Really?
Janine: Yeah, well you’d be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Joey: What do you mean?
Janine: Like this.
(She pulls Joey towards her and dances really close to him.)
Janine: That’s it, feel the rhythm. That’s better.
Joey: Uh-huh.
Director: (To Joey) Okay, you’re dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no we came together!
Director: I don’t see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Director: Really, y’think so? I don’t..
(He leaves, and this girl grabs Joey and starts dancing really wild.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got them for you.
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Rachel: Ha!
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Ross: We know!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? He’s the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Ross: Okay.
(They dance over to him.)
Director: Okay, everybody hold!
(Ross and Monica high-five)
Director: Next on the platforms are… (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where he’s pointing to. He points away from them) …you two! And… (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) …You two!
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I weren’t wearing underpants?
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
(The director shakes his head.)
[Scene: The Men’s Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that you’re dancing with.
Tall Guy: She’s nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown – I’m trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Tall Guy: No I don’t think so.
Joey: Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, she’s real, uh, mellow!
Tall Guy: Look, are you dating this girl you came with?
Joey: Well, I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could you know…
Tall Guy: No, no. She’s fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Joey: Alright, alright, hey y’know fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if you’re right, you’re right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guy’s pants)
Tall Guy: God! What are you, in second grade?
Joey: Hey, now you’re the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: Man, this sucks! Y’know if Mom and Dad don’t see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, who’s gonna be the losers then?
Ross: Hey, I know what’ll get us up on a platform!
Monica: What?
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we haven’t done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, he’ll wanna build us our own platform!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, it’s almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Monica: Okay, let’s do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Monica: 5 6 7 8!
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. I’m sorry.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Ross: So, do we really have to ask who’s going up on the platform next?
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, they’re gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again it’s gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybody’s excitement.
[Cut to Joey and Janine]
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Director: What’s going on over here?
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guy’s pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but don’t you think he went a little overboard?
Director: What’s the matter with you? Get out of here!
Joey: Yeah, take a hike wetpants!
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Ross: Can you believe this? We’re gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Monica: I know! Hey, you haven’t been practising the routine, have you?
Ross: No!
Monica: Me too!
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, y’know? (He mimics a robot)
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we don’t wanna look stupid!
Director: Alright we’re back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Joey’s Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
All: Three, Two, One!
Director: Cut!
Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!
Director: Okay, here’s where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone that’s a wrap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!
Chandler: Oh, hey guys!
Phoebe: Y’know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes – any ideas? No! Didn’t think so! Okay, c’mon guys, show us where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica that’s as good as garbage?
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.
Phoebe: What?
Rachel: This bench, it’s hollow! I can’t believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: No, don’t look directly at them!
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
Rachel: Oh, this one’s for me!
Phoebe: Oh, this one’s for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: Oh great!
Phoebe: And the big one’s for me!
Rachel: Ooh, let’s open them!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Phoebe: Hee hee!
Chandler: Wait, we can’t do this.
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Chandler: I don’t wanna know what Monica got me. Y’know? I mean, look, I’m sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Rachel: Whatever Linus, I’m opening mine.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica’s face when I give her my present, and I’m sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?
Chandler: Fine!
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: That’s what you got me?
Phoebe: Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless.
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
[Scene: Joey and Janine’s apartment, they both enter.]
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Year’s gonna go off. I guess there’s no reason for all that Y2K panic, y’know? Anyway, g’night!
Janine: Joey.
Joey: Yeah?
Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.
Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?
Janine: Well, I don’t know tonight when they yelled cut and we didn’t get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Janine: In the moment, yeah.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
Janine: Sure, New Year’s Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait?
Joey: No.
Janine: Me neither.
Joey: 3, 2,
Janine: Joey, you don’t have to count down every time we kiss.
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled ‘CUT!’
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Rachel: ‘Cos I was gonna say there’s no way you could’ve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Monica: What? We could do it!
Ross: I don’t know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, let’s go. (She and Ross get up)
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Monica: I can’t do it! (Ross falls into Monica’s room)
Chandler: Now you do that, you’re on TV.
End
