情人節(jié)特別記憶：論正確的求婚方式

論正確的求婚方式

Two Takes on a Marriage Proposal

我們常說(shuō)，說(shuō)話的方式比說(shuō)話的內(nèi)容更重要，這篇文章就很能體現(xiàn)這一點(diǎn)。作者以調(diào)侃的口吻談求婚一事，句式、用詞簡(jiǎn)單，但作者半發(fā)牢騷、半開(kāi)玩笑的語(yǔ)氣卻是讓人忍俊不禁。建議聽(tīng)、讀時(shí)認(rèn)真體會(huì)作者如何將語(yǔ)速、語(yǔ)調(diào)與內(nèi)容很好地結(jié)合起來(lái)。

Around Valentine's Day, I decided to ask my wife what she remembered about my marriage proposal. Now I expected her to blush and then smile; maybe she'd sidle up next to me, give me a little kiss. Well she hesitated, then told me it was distinguished only by how forgettable it was. And, after taking an honest look at my effort, I am forced to agree with her.
在情人節(jié)前后，我決定問(wèn)一下妻子對(duì)我當(dāng)初求婚時(shí)的記憶。噯，我原來(lái)以為她會(huì)羞紅了臉，然后笑笑，說(shuō)不定她還會(huì)靜靜地靠過(guò)來(lái)，輕輕親我一下。嗯，事實(shí)是她猶豫了一下，然后告訴我那件事的最大特點(diǎn)是讓人過(guò)后即忘。而我在努力回想自己當(dāng)時(shí)的表現(xiàn)之后，也不得不同意她的說(shuō)法。

It was April, 1993. I picked my wife, then girlfriend, up from her Brooklyn apartment and we walked around the corner to have dinner at a new Italian restaurant. During appetizers I asked her what she was doing the following May.
那是1993年4月，我把我妻子（當(dāng)時(shí)的女朋友）從她住的紐約布魯克林公寓接出來(lái)，然后我們拐過(guò)街角，在一家新開(kāi)的意大利餐廳吃晚飯。在用開(kāi)胃菜的時(shí)候，我問(wèn)她五月份有什么計(jì)劃。

“I have no idea.” she said. “Why?”
“我什么也沒(méi)有計(jì)劃，”她說(shuō)道。“怎么了？”

“Well I thought we could get married,” I responded.
“嗯，我想我們可以那個(gè)時(shí)候結(jié)婚，”我說(shuō)道。

Thinking I was joking, she kicked me under the table. “Don't do that.”
她以為我在開(kāi)玩笑，就在飯桌下踢了我一下，說(shuō)：“別亂說(shuō)。”

“I'm serious.” I protested. “I am asking you to marry me.”
“我當(dāng)真的，”我對(duì)她的話表示抗議。“我在向你求婚呢。”

Well she smiled, said yes, and the rest is history. No drama, no romance, no professions of love and longing, and no ring. There was not one bit of thought put into the entire event. It was an absolute disaster from beginning to end, and my wife is right to be disappointed.
她笑了笑，說(shuō)好吧，結(jié)果就不必贅述了。沒(méi)有戲劇性，也不浪漫，沒(méi)有愛(ài)的表白與渴望，沒(méi)有戒指。我之前對(duì)此事不加考慮，從頭到尾絕對(duì)是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難，我妻子對(duì)此很失望也是對(duì)的。

Now it wasn't that I took the moment lightly; on the contrary, I'd been anxious about the prospect of marrying her for weeks. I just blurted out the proposal lest my nerves get the best of me.
不過(guò)，這并不代表我對(duì)此事掉以輕心，恰好相反，我對(duì)跟她結(jié)婚這事已經(jīng)焦慮了好幾個(gè)星期了。當(dāng)時(shí)我只不過(guò)是脫口而出，生怕自己太緊張而不敢說(shuō)出來(lái)。

Now I have friends who did things the right way. My best buddy proposed to his girlfriend on New Year's Eve. He took her on a trip to Lake Tahoe, and as the clock struck midnight, he gave her a huge diamond and asked her to be his wife. I have another friend who took his future wife to their favorite Thai food restaurant and arranged for the waiter to present the ring on top of her dinner plate. I should have called one of these guys and asked for advice. Instead, when it was my turn at the line, I threw up a brick.
我有些朋友做事的方式是對(duì)頭的。我最好的朋友是在除夕夜向女朋友求婚的。他把她帶到塔霍湖，在午夜鐘聲敲響時(shí)拿出一顆碩大鉆石向她求婚。我的另一位朋友把他未來(lái)的妻子帶到他們最愛(ài)的泰國(guó)餐廳，安排侍者把求婚戒指放在餐廳托盤(pán)上捧出。我當(dāng)時(shí)真該向這些家伙征求意見(jiàn)，但我沒(méi)有這么做。結(jié)果，輪到我的時(shí)候，我搞砸了。

Now it's not that the proper proposal will guarantee a successful marriage: I know too many men who had great proposals and rotten marriages. There are, however, certain elements in a proposal that are important and whose significance is not lost on today's women.
當(dāng)然，這并不是說(shuō)正確的求婚方式是成功婚姻的保證，我認(rèn)識(shí)有許多男人的求婚方式都很棒，但婚姻卻很糟。然而，在求婚方式中包含的一些元素很重要，這些元素的意義在現(xiàn)代女性眼中也是很有分量的。

I have not met a woman yet who did not dream of a man on bended knee placing a band of gold on her finger. I have also never heard tell of a woman who didn't feel just a bit cheated when her intended neglected to offer his knee and this token. And my wife is no exception. As we reminisced, she made sure to let me know that any other woman would have rejected my weak proposal based purely on “GP”—that's “general principle”—and I count myself lucky.
我還不曾認(rèn)識(shí)一位女性不幻想一個(gè)男人在她面前單膝跪下，把一杖戒指套在她的手指上；我也從來(lái)沒(méi)聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)有哪一位女性如果自己的未婚夫忽視了下跪并呈上求婚的象征這一環(huán)節(jié)而不感到上當(dāng)?shù)?。我妻子也不例外。我們?cè)诨貞浲碌臅r(shí)候，她總會(huì)讓我記住，換成另外任何一位女性，她都會(huì)僅以“常規(guī)”為由拒絕我那個(gè)沒(méi)有誠(chéng)意的求婚——我應(yīng)該明白我是很幸運(yùn)的。

I am serious when I say that this failure on my part, more than any other moment, is my greatest regret. As Cher would sing, “If I could turn back time…,” I would give the moment the respect it deserves and give my wife a proposal to remember. Maybe I would take her to the top of a mountain and let my proclamation of love echo across the valleys below. Or, one night, when we strolling down a quiet street, I would take her hand, get down on my knee, tell her how deeply I love her, what a terrific mother she would be, and ask her if she would please allow me the honor of spending the rest of my life with her.
我說(shuō)我的這個(gè)過(guò)失是我一生中最大的遺憾，我是很認(rèn)真的。就像雪兒在歌中唱道：“如果我能讓時(shí)光倒流……”，那我會(huì)珍惜這個(gè)本該被珍惜的時(shí)刻，留給妻子一個(gè)能讓她銘記的求婚方式。也許我會(huì)把她帶到山頂，讓我愛(ài)的宣言在腳下的山谷里回響；也許我會(huì)在某一個(gè)晚上，我們?cè)陟o靜的街上漫步的時(shí)候，牽過(guò)她的手，單膝跪下，對(duì)她說(shuō)我是多么地愛(ài)她，她一定會(huì)是一位好母親，然后求她讓我有幸與她共度余生。