《四季隨筆》節(jié)選 - 冬 19

《四季隨筆》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中對隱士賴克羅夫特醉心于書籍、自然景色與回憶過去生活的描述，其實是吉辛的自述，作者以此來抒發(fā)自己的情感，因而本書是一部富有自傳色彩的小品文集。

吉辛窮困的一生，對文學名著的愛好與追求，以及對大自然恬靜生活的向往，在書中均有充分的反映。本書分為春、夏、秋、冬四個部分，文筆優(yōu)美，行文流暢，是英國文學中小品文的珍品之一。

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The Christmas bells drew me forth this morning. With but half-formed purpose, I walked through soft, hazy sunshine towards the city, and came into the Cathedral Close, and, after lingering awhile, heard the first notes of the organ, and so entered. I believe it is more than thirty years since I was in an English church on Christmas Day. The old time and the old faces lived again for me; I saw myself on the far side of the abyss of years—that self which is not myself at all, though I mark points of kindred between the beings of then and now. He who in that other world sat to hear the Christmas gospel, either heeded it not at all—rapt in his own visions—or listened only as one in whose blood was heresy. He loved the notes of the organ, but, even in his childish mind, distinguished clearly between the music and its local motive. More than that, he could separate the melody of word and of thought from their dogmatic significance, enjoying the one whilst wholly rejecting the other. "On earth peace, goodwill to men"—already that line was among the treasures of his intellect, but only, no doubt, because of its rhythm, its sonority. Life, to him, was a half-conscious striving for the harmonic in thought and speech—and through what a tumult of unmelodious circumstance was he beginning to fight his way!

今天早晨，圣誕鐘聲引我前行。我穿過柔和朦朧的陽光，走向市區(qū)，心里并沒有明確的目的，到了教堂的院子，稍作停留，聽到管風琴響起來，我便走了進去。我相信自己已經(jīng)三十多年沒有在圣誕節(jié)來過英國教堂了。昔日時光和舊時面孔重新在心頭復活，我看到自己在歲月鴻溝的另一邊——那個我根本不是我，盡管我注意到昔日和今時的我之間有很多相似之處。他坐在另一個世界，聆聽著圣誕福音，也許根本沒聽進去——沉浸在自己的思緒中——或者在聆聽時滿懷異端邪說。他喜歡管風琴的樂聲，然而在他幼稚的頭腦中，他便將音樂與它的狹隘動機區(qū)分得很清楚。不僅如此，他能夠將話語及思想的音樂性與它們的教條意義分開，享受前者，而完全摒棄后者?！笆郎嫌泻推剑埔庠谌碎g”——這句話已經(jīng)成為他智慧的珍寶之一，但無疑只是因為它的節(jié)奏、它的響亮。生活對他而言，是一種半自覺的對思想和言語和諧的追求——而在怎樣刺耳的喧囂境況中，他開始為自己辟出一條路來！

To-day, I listen with no heretical promptings. The music, whether of organ or of word, is more to me than ever; the literal meaning causes me no restiveness. I felt only glad that I had yielded to the summons of the Christmas bells. I sat among a congregation of shadows, not in the great cathedral, but in a little parish church far from here. When I came forth, it astonished me to see the softly radiant sky, and to tread on the moist earth; my dream expected a wind-swept canopy of cold grey, and all beneath it the gleam of new-fallen snow. It is a piety to turn awhile and live with the dead, and who can so well indulge it as he whose Christmas is passed in no unhappy solitude? I would not now, if I might, be one of a joyous company; it is better to hear the long-silent voices, and to smile at happy things which I alone can remember. When I was scarce old enough to understand, I heard read by the fireside the Christmas stanzas of "In Memoriam."12 To-night I have taken down the volume, and the voice of so long ago has read to me once again—read as no other ever did, that voice which taught me to know poetry, the voice which never spoke to me but of good and noble things. Would I have those accents overborne by a living tongue, however welcome its sound at another time? Jealously I guard my Christmas solitude.

今天，我在聆聽教堂音樂時沒有任何異端想法。無論是管風琴的樂聲，還是語言的韻律，對我都有比以往更大的意義，歌詞的意義也沒有讓我不耐煩。這樣接受了圣誕鐘聲的召喚，我感到的只是愉快。我在教眾的影子里坐著，不是在大教堂，而是在離這里很遠的一個小教區(qū)的教堂。我走出來時，看見柔和燦爛的天空，踩在濕潤的泥土上，感覺很驚訝，因為我本來夢想看到的會是冷風席卷灰色寒冷的天空，大地上閃耀著新降的白雪。離開人世和死者相處一會兒是一種虔誠，有誰能像那個在愉快的孤獨中度過圣誕節(jié)的人一樣，充分地放縱這種心情？就算可以，我也不愿成為歡樂人群中的一員。聽聽那久已沉默的聲音，微笑面對那些只有我自己能記住的快樂事物，我覺得更好。在年紀尚輕還無法理解的時候，我聽到有人在壁爐旁念《紀念詩》中關于圣誕節(jié)的章節(jié)。今晚，我取下了這本書，很久以前的那個聲音又響在我的耳畔——這閱讀的聲音是獨一無二的，這聲音教我理解詩歌，這聲音跟我談起的只是美好高尚的事物。不管在世的人發(fā)出的聲音在其他時候聽來多么地悅耳，我能愿意它壓過這種詩音嗎？我小心翼翼地守護著自己圣誕節(jié)的孤獨。