《四季隨筆》節(jié)選 - 冬 04

《四季隨筆》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中對(duì)隱士賴(lài)克羅夫特醉心于書(shū)籍、自然景色與回憶過(guò)去生活的描述，其實(shí)是吉辛的自述，作者以此來(lái)抒發(fā)自己的情感，因而本書(shū)是一部富有自傳色彩的小品文集。

吉辛窮困的一生，對(duì)文學(xué)名著的愛(ài)好與追求，以及對(duì)大自然恬靜生活的向往，在書(shū)中均有充分的反映。本書(shū)分為春、夏、秋、冬四個(gè)部分，文筆優(yōu)美，行文流暢，是英國(guó)文學(xué)中小品文的珍品之一。

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After two or three days of unseasonable and depressing warmth, with lowering but not rainy sky, I woke this morning to find the land covered with a dense mist. There was no daybreak, and, till long after the due hour, no light save a pale, sad glimmer at the window; now, at mid-day, I begin dimly to descry gaunt shapes of trees, whilst a haunting drip, drip on the garden soil tells me that the vapour has begun to condense, and will pass in rain. But for my fire, I should be in indifferent spirits on such a day as this; the flame sings and leaps, and its red beauty is reflected in the window-glass. I cannot give my thoughts to reading; if I sat unoccupied, they would brood with melancholy fixedness on I know not what. Better to betake myself to the old mechanic exercise of the pen, which cheats my sense of time wasted.

接連兩三天，天氣都是不合季節(jié)的悶熱，天空低沉但沒(méi)有雨意。我今天早晨醒來(lái)，發(fā)現(xiàn)地上覆蓋著濃霧。黎明始終沒(méi)有到來(lái)，過(guò)了日出時(shí)分好久，窗外才透進(jìn)一絲昏暗悲傷的光亮；現(xiàn)在已是正午，我開(kāi)始能模糊分辨出樹(shù)木憔悴的輪廓，我聽(tīng)到水珠不斷滴在花園地上的聲音，我知道，水蒸氣已經(jīng)開(kāi)始凝結(jié)，要聚集成雨了。如果沒(méi)有爐火，在今天這樣的日子，我的情緒該是冷淡的；火焰歌唱著，跳躍著，它紅火的美麗模樣映在窗戶(hù)玻璃上。我沒(méi)有讀書(shū)的心情，要是無(wú)所事事地坐下來(lái)，我的思緒會(huì)哀傷地固定在某個(gè)自己也不知道的東西上。不如拿起筆桿子，重復(fù)以前的機(jī)械筆耕，哄哄自己而不感到浪費(fèi)了時(shí)間。

I think of fogs in London, fogs of murky yellow or of sheer black, such as have often made all work impossible to me, and held me, a sort of dyspeptic owl, in moping and blinking idleness. On such a day, I remember, I once found myself at an end both of coal and of lampoil, with no money to purchase either; all I could do was to go to bed, meaning to lie there till the sky once more became visible. But a second day found the fog dense as ever. I rose in darkness; I stood at the window of my garret, and saw that the street was illumined as at night, lamps and shop-fronts perfectly visible, with folk going about their business. The fog, in fact, had risen, but still hung above the house-tops, impermeable by any heavenly beam. My solitude being no longer endurable, I went out, and walked the town for hours. When I returned, it was with a few coins which permitted me to buy warmth and light. I had sold to a second-hand bookseller a volume which I prized, and was so much the poorer for the money in my pocket.

我想起倫敦的霧，要么是昏黃的，要么是完全黑暗的，讓我不可能做任何工作，讓我像消化不良的貓頭鷹似的，陷入一種無(wú)精打采百無(wú)聊賴(lài)狀態(tài)中。我記得，曾經(jīng)在這樣一天，我發(fā)現(xiàn)煤和燈油都燃盡了，而我又沒(méi)錢(qián)買(mǎi)；我只能爬上床，想一直躺到再次看見(jiàn)天亮。但是第二天，霧氣還像昨天那樣濃。我在黑暗中起身，站在閣樓的窗前，看見(jiàn)街道像在晚上一樣被燈光照亮，路燈和商鋪都清晰可見(jiàn)，人們都在忙著自己的事情。霧氣其實(shí)已經(jīng)升起，但是還盤(pán)踞在屋頂上，任何天光都無(wú)法穿透。我無(wú)法再忍受孤獨(dú)，便出門(mén)在城中走了幾個(gè)小時(shí)?；貋?lái)時(shí)，兜里多了幾個(gè)硬幣，可以供我購(gòu)買(mǎi)一些溫暖和光明。我把自己珍視的一本書(shū)賣(mài)給了一個(gè)二手書(shū)販，而兜里的錢(qián)讓我變得更加貧窮了。

Years after that, I recall another black morning. As usual at such times, I was suffering from a bad cold. After a sleepless night, I fell into a torpor, which held me unconscious for an hour or two. Hideous cries aroused me; sitting up in the dark, I heard men going along the street, roaring news of a hanging that had just taken place. "Execution of Mrs."—I forget the name of the murderess. "Scene on the scaffold!" It was a little after nine o'clock; the enterprising paper had promptly got out its gibbet edition. A morning of midwinter, roofs and ways covered with soot-grimed snow under the ghastly fog-pall; and, whilst I lay there in my bed, that woman had been led out and hanged—hanged. I thought with horror of the possibility that I might sicken and die in that wilderness of houses, nothing above me but "a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours." Overcome with dread, I rose and bestirred myself. Blinds drawn, lamp lit, and by a blazing fire, I tried to make believe that it was kindly night.

我又記起多年之后一個(gè)黑暗的早晨。這種時(shí)候，我通常會(huì)患重感冒，那年也不例外。在一夜無(wú)眠之后，我陷入了麻痹狀態(tài)，不省人事有一兩個(gè)小時(shí)。一陣討厭的叫喊聲將我驚醒，我在黑暗中坐起身，聽(tīng)到人們走在街上大聲叫賣(mài)剛剛發(fā)生的一起絞刑的新聞。“處決某某夫人”——我已經(jīng)忘記那個(gè)被絞死的兇手的名字?！敖g刑架上的一幕！”當(dāng)時(shí)是九點(diǎn)剛過(guò)，盡職的報(bào)紙已經(jīng)立刻為這次絞刑發(fā)表了一則消息。冬天此時(shí)剛過(guò)一半，這個(gè)早晨，房頂和道路上都覆蓋著被煤灰弄臟的雪，上面覆蓋著可怖的霧做成的棺材；在我躺在床上的時(shí)候，那個(gè)女人被拉出去絞死了——絞死了。我想到自己可能會(huì)在這個(gè)城市的荒原里病死，身上只蓋有“骯臟的致命的水蒸氣”，嚇得夠嗆。在極度恐懼之下，我起身活動(dòng)了一下。我拉上百葉窗，點(diǎn)上油燈，在熊熊燃燒的爐火旁，我努力欺騙自己這是一個(gè)溫暖的夜晚。