跨國夫婦：晚餐上的囧事

 

We recently went to a friend’s house for dinner. They were celebrating their 10 year wedding anniversary, although they lived together for a further 5 years.
我和我的中國老婆最近去一位朋友家吃晚餐，我的這兩位朋友在慶祝他們的十周年結(jié)婚紀念日，盡管他們已經(jīng)在一起十五年了。

Invited that evening were another 3 couples, all being doctors and doctors wives (2 of those wives were also doctors).
這對幸福的夫妻一共邀請了3對夫婦，三個家庭的男主人都是醫(yī)生（其中的兩位妻子也是醫(yī)生）

The couple celebrating their anniversary are a very loving couple, he being a surgeon and she being a stay at home mother. They are very compatible, although quite different in many respects. Their ongoing adoration of each other is quite palpable, and quite refreshing to experience.
這對慶祝結(jié)婚紀念日的夫妻可是相當(dāng)?shù)亩鲪郏煞蚴莻€外科醫(yī)生妻子則是個全職太太。盡管在不少地方差別很大，但他們可十分和諧。他們對對方的愛戀十分明顯，他們的愛情也得以保鮮。

During dinner, the conversation naturally turned to the other relationships in the room, and eventually to mine.
在晚餐時，我們的話題很自然的轉(zhuǎn)向了其他幾對夫婦之間的關(guān)系上，最后說到了我。

I was asked what it was that attracted me to my wife originally, and I responded in what is probably a typical male fashion, stuck for words but then falling back on the typical qualities such as sense of humour, looks, emotional connection and a sense of compatibility.
他們問我最初我老婆身上的什么東西吸引了我，我說這可能男性都會這樣，在第一次見到她時我會突然無所適從，但又馬上又會被她的某些普遍的特征所吸引，比如說幽默，眼神，感情交流和契合的感覺。

Well, then it was my wife’s turn, and I could hear the whole room quiten down as she was asked what she found most appealing about me when we first met, and what it was that made her consider marriage with me.
談后他們便調(diào)轉(zhuǎn)槍口問我老婆了，當(dāng)他們問在我們第一次見面的時候是什么吸引了她，又是什么促使她嫁給了我時，我能感到滿屋子的人都安靜了下來。

Naive me, I thought she would say that she thought we were compatible, that I was caring and loving to her needs, that I was a good provider and responsible, and maybe, just maybe that she felt that she loved me.
我真天真，我滿以為她會說因為我們很般配，因為我給了她他想要的愛情，因為我總是付出，因為我有責(zé)任感之類。也許，只是也許她會說她只是愛我。

Instead, my wife responded by saying:
但是，我老婆是這么說的：

“I liked the fact that he was left-handed, and that he had blue eyes and blonde hair. We Chinese admire those physical traits”
“因為他是左撇子，他長著藍眼睛和金色頭發(fā)，這些可是我們中國人喜歡的特征哦。”

When further prompted about the qualities in me that she liked, she continued:
當(dāng)我老婆被問及我身上的什么特質(zhì)讓他喜歡時，她繼續(xù)說：

“I liked the fact that he was a doctor. I knew that all my friends and extended family would be jealous of me if I married a doctor.”
”因為他是個醫(yī)生啊，如果我嫁了個醫(yī)生，我所有的朋友和親戚都會對我羨慕嫉妒恨的。“

Everyone at the dinner table smiled, out of politeness I think, but I think my poor wife simply didn’t realise that she she was being asked for human qualities, not pragmatic ones.
晚餐上的每個人都笑而不語，我想這不過是出于禮貌。但我看我那個倒霉老婆還并沒有明白別人問他的是我的個人品性，可不是什么功利目的。

I tried to interrupt and hopefully change the topic, but I was gently brushed aside, in a helpful and supportive way, by one of the wives sitting beside me, who said to my wife:
我盡力想打斷他們并換個新話題，但是被撂在一邊。一個坐在我旁邊的女士想幫我老婆明白他們的問題，便繼續(xù)問道：

“Love, what we mean is did you marry him because you thought he would support you through thick or thin, or did you maybe think he would make a great father to your child?”
”我們想問的是你是不是因為愛情才嫁給他，或者說他能對你不離不棄，支撐你度過所有坎坷，抑或他將會是你孩子最好的爸爸？“

My wife seemed like she understood, she took a deep breath, smiled and then said:
我老婆好像明白了，她做了次深呼吸，微笑著說：

“I thought about what my child would look like if I had a child with him. I wanted my child to have light coloured hair and eyes, and to be a doctor too. I liked him for, how do you say, for his DNA?”
“我想過如果我和他有個孩子的話我的孩子將會長成什么樣。我希望我的孩子有個淺色的頭發(fā)和眼睛，并且也當(dāng)個醫(yī)生。我喜歡他的原因，你是怎么說的來著，因為他的DNA？”

Everyone laughed, I guess because no other response was appropriate, and we simply moved on to other topics.
大家哄堂大笑，我猜是客人們做出其他的反應(yīng)恐怕都不合適。于是我們轉(zhuǎn)移到另一個話題去了。

I felt somewhat embarrassed by my wife’s response, truth be told, but there was a huge language and cultural barrier that made it difficult for her to talk in those terms, so I simply put it aside and tried to forget it.
我覺得被我老婆的回答囧到了，盡管她說的是事實，但那個橫亙在我和她之間巨大的語言和文化溝壑讓她很難去和別人談?wù)撃承┰掝}，所以我就把這件事放在一邊并盡力忘掉它。

At work however, I still get a jibe from my colleagues, who while diagnosing a condition for the ocassional chinese female patient, ask me whether I think they have? DNA envy, and then they smile and wink.
在工作中，我依然因為此事被同事們開玩笑。當(dāng)他們偶爾給中國女士看病時，總會問我她們會不會羨慕我們的DNA，然后邊向我微笑著擠擠眼。

Yes, its funny, and simply part and parcel of a cross-cultural relationship.
是的，這很搞笑是吧？但這便是跨文化婚姻生活的一部分。