婚姻并不是通往更健康的門(mén)票

畢竟，婚姻并不是通往更健康的門(mén)票

Times change — and people change with them. Which is why it's important that we revisit conventional wisdom, the stuff we think we know. For example, being single now is a different experience today than it was in the past.

時(shí)代在變，人也在變。這就是為什么我們需要重新審視傳統(tǒng)智慧，那些我們自以為知道的東西。例如，現(xiàn)在單身和過(guò)去相比是一種不同的體驗(yàn)。

Having a wedding ring doesn't mean a life of good health. (Photo: Leon Rafael/Shutterstock)

Today, a much greater percentage of the population is single, and even those people who do eventually cohabit and/or marry will spend a greater part of their lives on their own. At the same time, the nature of work has changed for many, and the concept of community has also shifted. My community includes childhood friends located 3,000 miles away who I text several times a week; people I see weekly at yoga class; and editors and fellow writers who I chat with daily on Facebook or via email. Only one of the things on my list is similar to what someone would have qualified as community 40 years ago.

如今，單身人口的比例要大得多，即使是那些最終同居或結(jié)婚的人，也會(huì)花更多的時(shí)間獨(dú)自生活。與此同時(shí)，許多人的工作性質(zhì)發(fā)生了變化，社區(qū)的概念也發(fā)生了變化。我的社區(qū)里有遠(yuǎn)在3000英里之外的兒時(shí)好友，我每周都會(huì)給他們發(fā)幾次短信;我每周在瑜伽課上見(jiàn)到的人;還有我每天在Facebook或通過(guò)電子郵件與之聊天的編輯和其他作家。在我的清單上，只有一件事是類似于40年前的社區(qū)。

When how we live changes this much, that impacts other parts of our lives. For example, while research from the 1960s and 1970s showed correlations between better health (especially for men) and marriage, more recent studies show something different. That doesn't mean those older studies were necessarily wrong, it might just mean that singlehood and marriage have changed alongside other cultural mores, so it would make sense that their effects on health did, too.

當(dāng)我們的生活方式發(fā)生如此大的變化時(shí)，就會(huì)影響到我們生活的其他方面。例如，雖然20世紀(jì)60年代和70年代的研究表明，更健康(尤其是男性)和婚姻之間存在相關(guān)性，但最近的研究顯示出一些不同的東西。這并不意味著那些老的研究一定是錯(cuò)誤的，它可能只是意味著單身和婚姻隨著其他文化習(xí)俗的改變而改變，所以它們對(duì)健康的影響也是有道理的。

In a 2019 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers looked at seven different benchmarks of well-being. They found that people in relationships were better off than single people in only one way. People who were in relationships were better off only when they reported that those relationships were exceptional. Being single, they found, was better than being in a "neutral" relationship.

在2019年發(fā)表在《個(gè)性與社會(huì)心理學(xué)通報(bào)》上的一項(xiàng)研究中，研究人員考察了七個(gè)不同的幸福感基準(zhǔn)。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，有伴侶的人在某一方面比單身的人過(guò)得更好。處于戀愛(ài)關(guān)系中的人只有在報(bào)告戀愛(ài)關(guān)系是例外的情況下才會(huì)過(guò)得更好。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，單身比“中性”關(guān)系要好。

A Swiss study found that marriage might even have negative health effects: In analyzing the effects of 16 years of data, they found a "very small" uptick in health protection among married people, but that was obliterated by the three times stronger negative health impact of divorce. Overall, the scientists wrote that their findings about marriage and its relationship to health, "...cast doubts about the theory of health protection."

瑞士的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，婚姻甚至可能對(duì)健康產(chǎn)生負(fù)面影響:在分析16年數(shù)據(jù)的影響時(shí)，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，已婚人士在健康保護(hù)方面出現(xiàn)了“非常小”的上升，但這被離婚對(duì)健康產(chǎn)生的3倍于前者的負(fù)面影響所抵消?？偟膩?lái)說(shuō)，科學(xué)家們寫(xiě)道，他們關(guān)于婚姻及其與健康關(guān)系的發(fā)現(xiàn)，“……對(duì)健康保護(hù)的理論提出質(zhì)疑。”

Positive effects of being single

單身的積極影響

Single people are typically more active and spend more time in the community volunteering. (Photo: Syda Productions/Shutterstock)

Marriage is still highly rewarded in our culture (not just during and following a wedding, but by the government via tax breaks and other perks like free or low-cost health care for wives or husbands). Most people still see marriage as a goal that's part of being an adult. This leads to a sometimes-subtle effect: Unmarried people are looked down on, and they may question their happiness. Conversely, married people might assume they must be happy because they're filling a socially prescribed role. That cultural bias could explain some of the modest effects found between marriage and personal happiness. Most people feel good about themselves when they fulfill others' ideas of how they should live. Or it could be that happier people tend to marry, not that marriage causes happiness.

在我們的文化中，婚姻仍然是高回報(bào)的(不僅是在婚禮期間和之后，而且通過(guò)稅收減免和其他津貼，如為妻子或丈夫提供免費(fèi)或低成本的醫(yī)療保健等，來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn))。大多數(shù)人仍然認(rèn)為婚姻是成年人的目標(biāo)。這就導(dǎo)致了一種有時(shí)很微妙的影響:未婚的人被瞧不起，他們可能會(huì)質(zhì)疑自己的幸福。相反，已婚人士可能會(huì)認(rèn)為他們一定很幸福，因?yàn)樗麄儼缪葜鐣?huì)規(guī)定的角色。這種文化偏見(jiàn)可以解釋婚姻和個(gè)人幸福之間的一些適度影響。大多數(shù)人在實(shí)現(xiàn)了別人對(duì)他們應(yīng)該如何生活的想法后，會(huì)自我感覺(jué)良好。也可能是更幸福的人傾向于結(jié)婚，而不是婚姻帶來(lái)幸福。

In my mind, this data all points to at least one solid conclusion: That one relationship style isn't right for everyone — some people will probably be happier and healthier being married, while others are better off on their own. There's no good reason for all of us to follow the same life script anymore; we live in a wonderful time that allows us to make the choices that are truly the best for us, which sounds like a healthy way to live.

在我看來(lái)，這些數(shù)據(jù)都指向了至少一個(gè)可靠的結(jié)論:一種戀愛(ài)方式并不適合所有人——有些人結(jié)婚后可能會(huì)更快樂(lè)、更健康，而有些人則不會(huì)過(guò)得更好。我們沒(méi)有理由再遵循同樣的人生劇本;我們生活在一個(gè)美好的時(shí)代，我們可以做出對(duì)自己最好的選擇，這聽(tīng)起來(lái)是一種健康的生活方式。