從歷史因素談談讓爸爸們多做家務的由來

從歷史因素談談讓爸爸們多做家務的由來

In the past couple of years, our homes have become a key battleground in the fight for gender equality. Who plans the dinners? Folds the laundry? Schedules the doctor's appointments? Probably mom. Who's not particularly happy with this situation? Probably mom.

在過去的幾年里，我們的家庭已經(jīng)成為性別平等斗爭的主要戰(zhàn)場。誰來做晚餐?誰來疊衣服?誰來預約醫(yī)生?可能是媽媽。誰對這種情況不是特別滿意?可能是媽媽。

Even as women have taken on more work outside their home, they're still doing the bulk of household chores and childcare at home. Dads, to be fair, are putting in more time than their dads. They do roughly three times as much childcare, and more than two times as much housework as fathers in 1965.

盡管女性在家庭之外承擔了更多的工作，她們?nèi)匀辉诩依镒龃罅康募覄蘸驼疹櫤⒆?。公平地說，爸爸們比他們的爸爸投入了更多的時間。他們照顧孩子的次數(shù)是1965年的（父親的）三倍，做家務的時間是1965年的（父親的）的兩倍多。

But at the end of a long day — breakfast, drop-off, work, dinner, cleaning, bedtime — few women have much interest in contemplating generational shifts. What they want is a partner who knows that the soccer jersey needs to be washed before tomorrow's game, and they want a partner who knows that now, without being told.

但在漫長的一天結束時——早餐、接送、工作、晚餐、清潔、就寢——很少有女性有興趣思考這種代際轉換。她們想要的是一個知道明天比賽前要洗足球隊服的人，她們想要一個現(xiàn)在就知道這件事的人，而不是被告知（才知道）。

Why don't men help more around the house? In many cases, laziness plays a role. Why worry about soccer jerseys when you know someone else will do it? But to focus only on the lazy factor is to miss the widespread, and deeply entrenched, cultural and structural forces that are behind gender inequality at home.

為什么男人不幫忙多做家務?在很多情況下，是因為懶惰。既然你知道別人會洗球衣，為什么還要擔心這件事呢?但是，如果只關注懶惰的因素，就會忽視造成國內(nèi)性別不平等的廣泛而根深蒂固的文化和結構因素。

Complaining about the unwashed soccer jerseys is a reasonable response to this imbalance, but it's not likely to incite much change. The fix needs to be bigger and strategic. Couples need to understand how they ended up in this situation and then coolly, and collaboratively, find their way out.

抱怨未被洗的球衣是對這種不平衡的一種合理的反應，但它不太可能引發(fā)太多的變化。解決方案需要更大、更有策略。夫妻需要了解他們在這種情況下是如何結束的，然后冷靜地、協(xié)作地找到出路。

Take history into consideration

考慮一下歷史因素

For much of human history, men and women were both heavily involved in the running of the home and family business, explains Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families and author of "The Way We Never Were: American Families And The Nostalgia Trap." Don't confuse this for gender equality: Broadly speaking, men still had authority over women.

當代家庭委員會的研究主管、《我們從未有過的方式:美國家庭與懷舊陷阱》一書的作者斯蒂芬妮•庫恩茨解釋說，在人類歷史的很長一段時間里，男性和女性都積極參與家庭與家族企業(yè)的經(jīng)營。不要把這和性別平等混淆了:一般來說，男性權力仍然高于女性。

It's just that men didn't get this authority because they earned money outside the home, while women tended, wage-free, to the kids and the cleaning. Instead, men got their power from hierarchical social institutions, such as religion.

只是男人沒有得到這個權力，因為他們在外面掙錢，而女人則無償?shù)卣疹櫤⒆雍痛驋咝l(wèi)生。相反，男人的權力來自社會等級制度，例如宗教。

Before the 19th century, fathers tended to be heavily involved with domestic activities like feeding the wood stoves, carrying water, teaching their children to read, and maintaining ties to extended family and neighbors.

在19世紀以前，父親們積極參與家庭活動，如給爐子添柴、挑水、教孩子讀書、與大家庭和鄰居保持聯(lián)系。

In other words, they did a lot of what we today consider "emotional labor." Meanwhile, women were often in charge of the financial and marketing side of their family business, which was often agricultural.

換句話說，他們做了很多我們今天所說的“情感工作”。與此同時，女性通常負責家族企業(yè)的財務和銷售工作，而這種家族企業(yè)通常是農(nóng)業(yè)。

Then waged labor outside the house became the norm and fathers were the ones more likely to take these jobs. Women, the breastfeeders and baby gestators, were seen as better off staying at home and, with time, all things domestic began to be seen as feminine.

之后，家庭之外的勞動成為常態(tài)，父親更有可能承擔這些工作。女性作為母乳喂養(yǎng)者和嬰兒孕育者，被認為最好呆在家里，隨著時間的推移，所有的家務開始被認為是女性的。

Moms took over the job of educating children, maintaining social relations, and making sure the home stayed clean and everyone was fed.

媽媽們接管了教育孩子、維持社會關系、確保家里干凈、確保每個人都有飯吃的工作。

"Around the early 19th century, men took on this special role as providers and protectors, and with that came a whole ideology. Men began to embrace a masculine identity that was based on not doing women's work," Coontz said.

“大約在19世紀早期，男性承擔了作為提供者和保護者的特殊角色，后來變成一種完整的意識形態(tài)。男人開始接受一種男性身份，這種男性身份以不做女性的工作為基礎。

"Women also began to embrace a new identity: We are the family expert. We know how to raise kids. We know how to change diapers.

“女性也開始接受一種新身份:我們是家庭專家。我們知道如何撫養(yǎng)孩子。我們知道怎么換尿布。”