自戀者隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)會(huì)逐漸失去對(duì)自己的愛

自戀者隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)會(huì)逐漸失去對(duì)自己的愛

According to researchers at the University of Illinois, most narcissists figure out by their early 40s that they're not entitled to all the success and attention in the world. They may even start leaving some for the rest of us.

據(jù)伊利諾伊大學(xué)的研究人員稱，大多數(shù)自戀者在40歲出頭時(shí)就意識(shí)到，他們沒有資格獲得世界上所有的成功和關(guān)注。他們甚至可能開始為我們剩下的人留下一些。

Only a handful of people in the study remained as narcissistic at 41 as they were at 18. (Photo: marienalien/Shutterstock)

And how do you spot a narcissist? It's not as hard as you might think. For starters, do you know anyone who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance? Or maybe someone who craves constant attention and admiration? In fact, there are nine symptoms psychologists use to diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A classic narcissist checks all the boxes, while someone with varying degrees of it will typically hit five.

你如何發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)自戀者?這并不像你想象的那么難。首先，你知道有誰夸大了自己的重要性嗎?或者是渴望得到持續(xù)關(guān)注和贊賞的人?事實(shí)上，心理學(xué)家用來診斷自戀型人格障礙的癥狀有9種。一個(gè)典型的自戀者會(huì)檢查所有的選項(xiàng)，而有不同程度自戀的人通常會(huì)有5項(xiàng)表現(xiàn)。

For their study, researchers interviewed participants when they were freshman at the University of California, specifically noting levels of vanity, belief in their leadership skills and sense of entitlement.

在他們的研究中，研究人員在參與者剛進(jìn)入加州大學(xué)(University of California)的時(shí)候?qū)λ麄冞M(jìn)行了采訪，特別指出了他們的虛榮心、對(duì)自己領(lǐng)導(dǎo)能力的信心以及優(yōu)越感的程度。

In other words, they recorded their insufferability score. As time wore on and participants got more acquainted with life's realities, they reported lower scores for narcissism.

換句話說，他們記錄了自己的難耐程度。隨著時(shí)間的推移，參與者對(duì)生活現(xiàn)實(shí)的了解越來越多，他們的自戀分?jǐn)?shù)也越來越低。

By the time they reached 41, most of them were cured. Or, at least, a lot easier to be around.

到他們41歲時(shí)，大多數(shù)人都被治愈了?；蛘撸辽?，更容易相處。

When you finally learn it's not all about you

當(dāng)你終于明白并不是所有事都圍著你的時(shí)候

Narcissistic people are usually focused more on themselves than the people around them. (Photo: Peter Bernik/Shutterstock)

Those in the study who ranked high in a sense of entitlement in their youth also reported more negative life events. Narcissism, it seems, takes a lifelong toll, as the experience wears down even the most devoted self-worshippers.

在這項(xiàng)研究中，那些在年輕時(shí)認(rèn)為自己有權(quán)利的人也報(bào)告了更多的負(fù)面生活事件。自戀似乎會(huì)讓人付出終生的代價(jià)，因?yàn)檫@種經(jīng)歷甚至?xí)屪铗\(chéng)的自戀者感到疲憊。

Surprisingly one facet of narcissism — the belief in one's own leadership qualities — also flagged as people got older. It's considered the least pathological element of narcissism and a quality researchers expected to increase over time.

令人驚訝的是，自戀的一個(gè)方面——相信自己的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)能力——也會(huì)隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)而減弱。它被認(rèn)為是自戀中最不病態(tài)的因素，研究人員預(yù)計(jì)隨著時(shí)間的推移，這一特質(zhì)會(huì)逐漸增強(qiáng)。

"We know from past research that another component of personality — assertiveness — tends to increase during this time of life," Roberts explains.

羅伯茨解釋說:“我們從過去的研究中知道，性格的另一個(gè)組成部分——自信——在人生的這段時(shí)間里往往會(huì)增強(qiáng)。”

"So, I thought it was reasonable to hypothesize a similar increase in the leadership facet. This either means the past research is wrong, or our read of the leadership component of narcissism is wrong — it may actually be more negative than we thought. We have to figure this out in future research."

“所以，我認(rèn)為假設(shè)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力方面也有類似的增長(zhǎng)是合理的。這要么意味著過去的研究是錯(cuò)誤的，要么我們對(duì)自戀的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)成分的解讀是錯(cuò)誤的——它實(shí)際上可能比我們想象的更消極。我們必須在未來的研究中解決這個(gè)問題。”

We may also have to figure out what to do with the people 3% of participants who remained unshakably in love with themselves. A few people even doubled down and got more narcissistic over time.

我們可能還必須弄清楚如何處理3%的參與者，他們?nèi)匀粓?jiān)定地愛著自己。有些人甚至?xí)颖杜?，隨著時(shí)間的推移變得越來越自戀。

"Some remained just as narcissistic at age 41 as they had been when they were 18 years old," notes study co-author Eunike Wetzel of Germany's Otto-von-Guericke University.

研究報(bào)告的撰寫者之一、德國(guó)奧托-馮-格里克大學(xué)的尤尼克•韋策爾說:“有些人在41歲時(shí)仍然像18歲時(shí)一樣自戀。”

Then again, maybe it's not a question of what to do with them so much as how to avoid them.

然而，也許問題不在于如何處理它們，而在于如何避免它們。