為什么人們很難保守秘密？

“Don’t tell anyone”. We hear these words when someone tells a secret to us. But it can be hard to keep a secret. We’re often tempted to“spill the beans”, even if we regret it later.

“別告訴別人噢”。當(dāng)別人告訴我們一個(gè)秘密之前，我們總會(huì)聽到這句話。但保守秘密并非易事。就算事后會(huì)后悔，我們還是常常會(huì)忍不住說漏嘴。

According to Asim Shah, professor in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine, US, keeping a secret may well “become a burden”. This is because people often have an “obsessive and anxious urge to share it with someone”.

美國貝勒醫(yī)學(xué)院梅寧格精神病學(xué)與行為科學(xué)系教授阿西姆·沙哈認(rèn)為，保守秘密很可能“成為一大負(fù)擔(dān)”。因?yàn)槿藗儠r(shí)常有“急于與他人分享的過分沖動(dòng)”。

An earlier study, led by Anita E. Kelly, a scientist at the University of Notre Dame, US, suggested that keeping a secret could cause stress. People entrusted with secrets can suffer from depression, anxiety, and body aches, reported the Daily Mail.

此前，美國圣母大學(xué)科學(xué)家安妮塔·E·凱莉主導(dǎo)的一項(xiàng)研究認(rèn)為，保守秘密會(huì)帶來壓力。據(jù)《每日郵報(bào)》報(bào)道，被要求保密的人會(huì)感到抑郁、焦慮以及身體疼痛。

But with secrets so often getting out, why do people share them at all? Shah explained that people often feel that it will help them keep a person as a friend. Another reason people share secrets is guilt over keeping it from someone close to them. A sense of distrust can develop when people who are close do not share it with each other. “Keeping or sharing secrets often puts people in a position of either gaining or losing the trust of someone,” according to Shah.

既然秘密這么容易被說出去，那么人們?yōu)槭裁催€會(huì)分享秘密呢?沙哈解釋稱，人們常常會(huì)覺得分享秘密能夠幫助他們維系友誼。人們分享秘密的另一原因是對(duì)親近之人保密所產(chǎn)生的愧疚感。親朋密友之間存在秘密會(huì)產(chǎn)生一種不信任感。“保守或者分享秘密常常將人們置于獲得或者失去他人信任的處境，”沙哈表示。

He added that talkative people could let secrets slip out. But this doesn’t mean that it is a good idea only to share secrets with quiet people. A quiet person may be someone who keeps everything inside. To tell such a person a secret may cause them stress, and make them talk about the secret.

他補(bǔ)充道，健談的人會(huì)泄露秘密。但這不意味著只和安靜的人分享秘密就是個(gè)好主意。一個(gè)安靜內(nèi)向的人或許會(huì)將一切都藏在心里。和這樣的人分享秘密或許會(huì)讓他們感到壓力，從而令他們說出秘密。

Shah said that to judge whether to tell someone a secret, you’d better put yourself in their position. Think about how you would feel to be told that you mustn’t give the information away. Shah also recommended that if you accidentally give up someone’s secret you should come clean about it. Let the person know that their secret isn’t so secret anymore.

沙哈表示，判斷是否應(yīng)該與一個(gè)人分享秘密，需要換位思考。想想你被告知要保守秘密會(huì)是什么樣的感覺。沙哈還建議，如果你不小心將別人的秘密說漏嘴了，你應(yīng)該坦白承認(rèn)。讓那個(gè)人知道，自己的秘密已經(jīng)不再那么隱秘了。