家有熊孩子的，請看
沒人想要寵壞自己的孩子，但有些父母卻會為了安撫孩子而滿足他們的一切要求。
However according to a family therapist, threatening to punish your child for their bad behaviour, and then failing to follow through by taking action, is exactly what creates a spoiled brat.
一位家庭關系專家認為，孩子出現(xiàn)不良行為的時候加以威脅卻沒能兌現(xiàn)，恰恰會制造出熊孩子。
Hal Runkel, author of new book Scream Free Parenting, explains that not insisting your child face the consequences of their actions is the single biggest mistake a parent can make when it comes to raising offspring.
《無尖叫式育兒》一書的作者Hal Runkel解釋說，父母在育兒時，沒能堅持讓孩子面對其行為帶來的后果，是父母的最大錯誤。
Hal also believes that not letting your children figure out how the world works for themselves is a mistake.
他還認為不讓孩子找出世界磨練他們的方式，也是一個錯誤。
'What spoils kids is not letting them taste the natural consequences of their mistakes,' he told Business Insider.'When we give them the impression that their choices don't have natural, logical consequences and we rescue them from those - when we say, "Hey, you do that one more time, I'm going to take that thing away," and then we don't take that thing away - that's actually what spoils kids.'
他表示：“寵壞孩子的一種方式，就是不讓他們品嘗其失誤帶來的自然后果。當我們給他們留下他們的選擇不會帶來自然后果的印象時，比如說‘嘿，你再這樣做我就把這東西拿走了’，但之后你卻并沒有拿走他的東西，這就是一種溺愛。”
As an example, he explains that words of warning are just empty threats.
作為例子，他還列舉了以下虛張聲勢的威脅：
Do not tell a child 'if you do that one more time', and threaten them with punishment for repeating a wrongdoing
不要跟孩子說“如果你再這樣做”，并以重復某個錯誤舉動來威脅要懲罰他們。
Instead, immediately take action to send a clear message that will deter your child from behaving this way
相反，你應該立即行動起來，給你的孩子傳遞出清晰的訊息，這樣才能讓他不再做出類似舉動。
Hal says: 'If you're not in control, you cannot be in charge'
Hal表示，如果你不控制自己的脾氣，那么你就不能管住他。
According to Hal, if your child hits their sibling with a toy and you threaten to take it away if they hit them 'one more time', your words will go over their head.
如果你們的孩子用某個玩具來打他的兄弟姐妹，而你威脅說如果他們再這樣做，他們就會把玩具拿走，那么他們的腦海里就會一直思考你的話。
By doing this, he explains, you're sending a message that they can get away with whatever behaviour they want.
你這樣做無疑是在告訴他們，他們能夠逃避任何懲罰。
Instead, he argues that you should immediately take the toy they are using to hit their sibling with away from them, which will send a clear message and put them off doing it again.
Hal認為遇到這種情況你們應該立即拿走孩子用來打人的玩具，清楚明白地讓他們不要再這樣做。
He also believes that it's essential to prepare your children for life without parents.One of the main ways parents can do this, he says, is to leave them to set their own alarm to wake up for school rather than waking them up yourself.
讓你的孩子準備好過著沒有父母的生活，這一點在Hal看來也很重要。父母們能夠做的最主要的一點，就是讓孩子自己定鬧鐘起床上學，而不是由你來叫醒他。
Summarising his views in his book, he concludes: 'Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents.'If you’re not in control, then you cannot be in charge.'By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionising your relationships in the process.'
Hal在他的書中表示：“育兒與小兒無關，而與父母有關。冷靜下來與孩子溝通，這樣你才能夠稍微擺脫內心深處的恐懼，而更多地從你的原則出發(fā)。在這一過程中你們的關系會發(fā)生變化。”
