讓孩子乖乖去上學(xué)的十個(gè)方法

Not attending school for longer periods can have negative effects on the child's psychological, social and academic development. Post-doctoral researcher Trude Havik at the Norwegian Centre for Learning Environment and Behavioural Research in Education at the University of Stavanger has been studying the phenomenon of school refusal. She gives us ten ways to prevent it and help pupils back to school.

長(zhǎng)期不上學(xué)會(huì)對(duì)孩子的心理、社交和學(xué)業(yè)發(fā)展造成不良影響。來(lái)自挪威斯塔萬(wàn)格大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)環(huán)境和行為研究中心的博士后研究員Trude Havik研究了“不想上學(xué)”現(xiàn)象，也稱“學(xué)校恐懼癥”。她給出了十個(gè)方法和建議來(lái)預(yù)防和補(bǔ)救。

1. Talk with your child

1.和孩子聊聊

Try to find out why he or she refuses to go to school. Has something happened? Ask if your child has any friends at school. Take your time and be specific when asking questions.

試著找出孩子不愿意去學(xué)校的原因。是不是發(fā)生了什么?問(wèn)問(wèn)你的孩子在學(xué)校有沒(méi)有朋友。聊的時(shí)候要有耐心，問(wèn)得具體一點(diǎn)，多給孩子一些時(shí)間。

2. Contact the school as soon as possible

2.盡快和學(xué)校聯(lián)系

"Ask if they have noticed any change of behaviour in your child, both regarding school work and in social interchange," says Havik.

“問(wèn)學(xué)校是否注意到孩子的行為有什么變化，不只是課業(yè)表現(xiàn)，還有社交互動(dòng)方面，”Havik說(shuō)。家長(zhǎng)應(yīng)該和學(xué)校聯(lián)系，共同確定孩子不愿意或者不能去上學(xué)的原因。

Parents should contact the school, and they should together find out why the child does not want to or is unable to attend school.

父母應(yīng)該聯(lián)系學(xué)校，他們應(yīng)該一起找出孩子為什么不想上學(xué)或不能上學(xué)的原因。

3. Make an agreement

3.作出約定

Complaints about stomach pain or headache are often among the first indications of school refusal. In case of such complaints, you should make an agreement that your child will attend school, but can return home if the pain gets worse during the day. The teacher must also be informed about the agreement.

孩子不想上學(xué)時(shí)經(jīng)常會(huì)抱怨肚子疼或者頭疼。你可以跟孩子約定，先去上學(xué)，如果之后還是肚子疼或者頭疼再回家。老師也得知道這個(gè)約定。

"Going to school rarely worsens the child's condition. Making sure that children go to school is important because non-attendance leads to more of the same," says Havik.

“孩子上學(xué)后疼痛加劇的情況基本沒(méi)有。讓孩子去到學(xué)校是很重要的，因?yàn)橛幸痪陀卸?，一次不去，以后就?huì)經(jīng)常不去，”Havik說(shuō)

"The longer a pupil is absent, the harder it is to come back."

“孩子缺勤時(shí)間越長(zhǎng)，就越難重回校園。”

4. Exert mild pressure

4.溫和地施加壓力

Stay firm.

態(tài)度要堅(jiān)定。

"However, parents can't be expected to force their children if the school does not follow up. This might apply if a child is subjected to bullying, feels unhappy or does not get the follow-up he or she needs.

“不過(guò)，如果學(xué)校不跟進(jìn)的話，也很難期待家長(zhǎng)催著孩子上學(xué)。”比如說(shuō)孩子在學(xué)校受到霸凌、感到不開心或者沒(méi)有獲得需要的關(guān)心時(shí)。

If the teacher does not respond to your concerns, you should ask for a meeting with the headmaster," says Havik.

“如果老師對(duì)你的擔(dān)心置之不理的話，你可以和校長(zhǎng)約見(jiàn)一下。”Havik說(shuō)。

5. Don't make staying at home an attractive option

5.別讓孩子在家待得太開心

"If children are allowed to sleep in and, for example, bake together with their mothers, staying at home during school time might be too enjoyable," says Havik.

“要是孩子可以在家睡大覺(jué)，或者和媽媽一起烤蛋糕的話，不上學(xué)就有點(diǎn)太開心了。”Havik說(shuō)。

"Make staying at home resemble a normal school day to make it less tempting. When the school day is over, you can enjoy yourselves.

“要讓在家的時(shí)候跟在學(xué)校差不多，不要那么悠閑。到了放學(xué)時(shí)間，再讓孩子放松玩。”

6. Take your child to the doctor

6.帶孩子去醫(yī)院

A child that complains about stomach pain or headache should undergo a medical examination. However, he or she should still try to attend school during the examination period," Havik believes.

“要是孩子說(shuō)肚子疼或者頭疼，就帶他去醫(yī)院做個(gè)體檢。不過(guò)，體檢結(jié)果出來(lái)之前，還是得去學(xué)校。”Havik認(rèn)為。

7. Business as usual

7.照常學(xué)習(xí)

If your child stays at home, it is important to get up at the usual time and prepare for a new day in the same way as when she or he goes to school. Get your child to do his or her school work, and try to follow the class' curriculum.

要是孩子不上學(xué)留在家里，和去學(xué)校的日子一樣按時(shí)起床并為一天做準(zhǔn)備是很重要的。讓孩子做做回家作業(yè)，試著跟上學(xué)習(xí)進(jìn)度。

8. Be positive about school

8.想想上學(xué)好的方面

When at home, focus on the positive aspects and what your child likes about school, teachers and classmates.

在家的時(shí)候，多談?wù)剬W(xué)校里好的方面，包括孩子喜歡學(xué)校里的什么，哪些老師，哪些同學(xué)等等。

9. Good routines

9.維持良好日程

It is important that the same thing happens every night at bedtime and in the morning. Your child should go to bed at a regular time and get enough sleep. Children should not be allowed to spend a lot of time on their mobile phones or digital tablets before bedtime.

很重要的一件事是，保證每天的睡覺(jué)和起床時(shí)間一致。應(yīng)該定時(shí)上床，保證睡眠時(shí)間。睡前不應(yīng)該玩很久手機(jī)或者電腦。

10. Don't feel guilty

10。不要感到內(nèi)疚

"When a child refuses to go to school, this is never down to one person or one simple reason. It is often a complex matter. Feelings of guilt will not make things better, neither for the adults nor the child," says Havik.

“當(dāng)孩子不想上學(xué)時(shí)，一般都不只因?yàn)橐粋€(gè)人或一件事。大多時(shí)候，原因都很復(fù)雜。不管是孩子還是家長(zhǎng)，感到愧疚都沒(méi)什么好處。”Havik說(shuō)。

Parents of children who refuse to go to school need to know that they are not the only ones in this situation.

這些孩子和家長(zhǎng)都應(yīng)該知道，很多人都面臨著同樣的問(wèn)題。

"They also need to know that early help, working together with the school and being open about difficult issues, including conditions at home, is important for getting the child back to school as soon as possible."

“他們還應(yīng)該知道，早期干預(yù)、和學(xué)校合作、坦誠(chéng)討論嚴(yán)肅話題，還有保證在家時(shí)的狀態(tài)，都是讓孩子盡早返校的好辦法。”