新年新挑戰(zhàn)：征服消極情緒
這里有一項(xiàng)新年的心態(tài)挑戰(zhàn)：讓這一年成為你平息心頭種種消極思想的一年。
All humans have a tendency to be a bit more like Eeyore than Tigger, to ruminate more on bad experiences than positive ones. It’s an evolutionary adaptation that helps us avoid danger and react quickly in a crisis.
所有人都有一種傾向，即更接近小驢屹耳(Eeyore)，而非跳跳虎(Tigger，二者都是動(dòng)畫片《小熊維尼》中的人物。——譯注)，相比積極的經(jīng)歷，人們會(huì)花更多時(shí)間對(duì)壞的經(jīng)歷進(jìn)行反芻。這是一種進(jìn)化適應(yīng)，有助于我們避開危險(xiǎn)，在危機(jī)中做出快速反應(yīng)。
But constant negativity can also get in the way of happiness, add to our stress and worry level and ultimately damage our health. And some people are more prone to negative thinking than others. Thinking styles can be genetic or the result of childhood experiences, said Judith Beck, a psychologist and the president of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Bala Cynwyd, Pa. Children may develop negative thinking habits if they have been teased or bullied, or experienced blatant trauma or abuse. Women, overall, are also more likely to ruminate than men, according to a 2013 study.
但持續(xù)的負(fù)面情緒也會(huì)妨礙我們獲得幸福，增大壓力和焦慮的程度，最終損害我們的健康。有些人格外容易有消極思想。賓夕法尼亞州巴拉辛維德的貝克認(rèn)知行為治療研究協(xié)會(huì)(Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy)會(huì)長、心理學(xué)家朱迪斯·貝克(Judith Beck)表示，思維方式可以是天生的，也可能是童年經(jīng)歷造就的。如果遭到嘲弄、欺侮，或經(jīng)歷過明顯的創(chuàng)傷或虐待，兒童有可能養(yǎng)成消極思維的習(xí)慣。2013年的一項(xiàng)研究顯示，女人整體上也比男人更容易糾結(jié)。
“We were built to overlearn from negative experiences, but under learn from positive ones,” said Rick Hanson, a psychologist and senior fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.
“基因結(jié)構(gòu)決定了我們會(huì)過多地沉溺于負(fù)面的經(jīng)歷，而沒有從積極的經(jīng)歷中學(xué)到足夠的東西，”加州大學(xué)伯克利分校至善科學(xué)中心(Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley)的心理學(xué)家和高級(jí)研究員里克·漢森(Rick Hanson)說。
But with practice you can learn to disrupt and tame negative cycles.
但通過練習(xí)，你可以打破和控制這些惡性循環(huán)。
The first step to stopping negative thoughts is a surprising one. Don’t try to stop them. If you are obsessing about a lost promotion at work or the results of the presidential election, whatever you do, don’t tell yourself, “I have to stop thinking about this.”
停止消極思維的第一步讓人意想不到，那就是不要試圖阻止它們。如果你為工作中沒實(shí)現(xiàn)的升遷或總統(tǒng)選舉的結(jié)果感到困擾，不管做什么，都不要對(duì)自己講，“我必須停止考慮這個(gè)問題。”
“Worry and obsession get worse when you try to control your thoughts,” Dr. Beck said.
“當(dāng)你試圖控制自己的思想時(shí)，擔(dān)憂和執(zhí)念會(huì)加重，”貝克說道。
Instead, notice that you are in a negative cycle and own it. Tell yourself, “I’m obsessing about my bad review.” Or “I’m obsessing about the election.”
相反，你應(yīng)該注意到自己處在一個(gè)惡性循環(huán)里，承認(rèn)這一點(diǎn)。告訴自己，“我因?yàn)楂@得差評(píng)而心里過不去”，或者“我在這次選舉上寄托了太多”。
By acknowledging your negative cycle and accepting it, you are on your way to taming your negative thoughts. Acceptance is the basic premise of mindfulness meditation, a practice that helps reduce stress and reactivity. You don’t necessarily have to close your eyes and meditate every day to reap the benefits of mindfulness. You can remind yourself to notice your thoughts in a nonjudgmental manner, without trying to change or alter them right away.
通過承認(rèn)自己處在惡性循環(huán)之中，并接受這一點(diǎn)，你便走向了控制自身消極思維的正規(guī)。接受是正念冥想的基本前提，這種做法有助于減輕壓力和反應(yīng)性。你不一定非得閉上眼睛每日冥想才能享受正念的益處。你可以提醒自己以一種不加評(píng)判的方式關(guān)注自己的思想，不試圖馬上改變它們。
Accepting negative thoughts can also help lessen their weight. Getting mad at yourself for worrying or telling yourself to stop worrying only adds fuel to the negativity fire.
接受消極的想法也有助于減輕它們的份量。因擔(dān)憂或?yàn)榱俗屪约和Ｖ箵?dān)憂而跟自己發(fā)火，對(duì)消極情緒只會(huì)火上澆油。
After you’ve accepted a negative thought, force yourself to challenge it.
在接受一種消極的想法后，迫使自己挑戰(zhàn)它。
Let’s go back to the setback at work. Perhaps not getting the promotion made you worry about your overall competence and you were berating yourself about your skills. Ask yourself, “Why would one setback mean that I am incompetent?” Or you might ask, “What have I done in the past that shows I am actually a very competent worker?”
讓我們回到工作中的反饋這個(gè)問題。或許沒有得到晉升讓你對(duì)自己整體的能力感到擔(dān)憂，你正在斥責(zé)自己缺乏技能。那就問自己，“為什么一次挫敗就意味著我沒有能力?”或者問自己，“以前我做過什么，能證明我實(shí)際上是個(gè)非常有能力的員工?”
If you’re having trouble challenging your negative thoughts, try this approach. Imagine that your friend is the one who received the bad news. What advice would you give him or her? Now think of how that advice might apply to you.
如果你難以質(zhì)疑自己的消極思想，可以試試這種方式。想象一下你的朋友才是接到這個(gè)壞消息的人。你會(huì)給他或她什么樣的建議?現(xiàn)在想想，那個(gè)建議如何應(yīng)用在你的身上。
A study conducted at Ohio State University found that this method — known as Socratic questioning — was a simple way to reduce depressive symptoms in adults. In the study, 55 adults were enrolled in a 16-week course of cognitive therapy sessions. Researchers studied videotapes of the sessions and found that the more frequently therapists used Socratic questioning, the more the patients’ depressive symptoms lessened. The study’s authors theorized that Socratic questioning helped patients examine the validity of their negative thoughts and gain a broader, more realistic perspective on them.
俄亥俄州立大學(xué)(Ohio State University)進(jìn)行的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，這個(gè)方法——被稱為蘇格拉底質(zhì)疑法——是一種減輕成年人抑郁癥狀的簡單辦法。在這項(xiàng)研究中，有55名成年人參加了一項(xiàng)為期16周的認(rèn)知治療課程。研究人員研究了這些課程的錄像，發(fā)現(xiàn)心理治療師越頻繁地使用蘇格拉底質(zhì)疑法，病人的抑郁癥狀就減輕得越多。這項(xiàng)研究的作者們從理論上說明，蘇格拉底質(zhì)疑法能幫助患者檢驗(yàn)他們的消極思維的正確性，讓他們以更廣闊、更現(xiàn)實(shí)的視角看待它們。
There will be times when your bleak thoughts are actually valid, but your projections about what’s next are not. Consider this scenario: Your partner has left you for someone else. “My partner doesn’t love me anymore,” might be accurate, said Dr. Beck, but “No one else will ever love me,” is probably not.
有時(shí)候你的悲觀想法實(shí)際上是對(duì)，但你對(duì)接下來會(huì)發(fā)生什么的預(yù)測并不合理。比如這樣的情境：你的伴侶離開了你，和另一個(gè)人在一起了。認(rèn)為“我的伴侶不再愛我了”，這點(diǎn)可能是正確的，但貝克博士說，認(rèn)為“再也不會(huì)有人愛我了”，卻不一定對(duì)。
Now move from a place of inaction to action to counteract the negative thought. If you are worried about feeling unloved, check in with friends and family members. If you are feeling insecure at work, make a list of your accomplishments. Perhaps ask your best friend to write you a letter telling you all the ways in which you are a good, kind person. Reread the letter daily.
然后再從不作為的狀況轉(zhuǎn)向抵制消極思想的行動(dòng)。如果為感覺沒人愛而擔(dān)憂，就與朋友和家人確認(rèn)一下。如果你在工作中感覺缺乏信心，就列一個(gè)自己的成就單。或許可以讓你最好的朋友給你寫一封信，從頭到尾都在講你是一個(gè)善良的好人。每天讀這封信。
Dr. Hanson, author of “Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence,” said it may be helpful to ask yourself if you are accomplishing anything by dwelling on your negative thoughts. If you’re ruminating on your financial problems during a run around the track in hopes of finding a solution, then that is useful. But fretting for lap after lap about the president-elect or a foreign crisis is not going to accomplish anything.
《永葆幸福：獲得滿足、平靜和信心的新大腦科學(xué)》(Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence)的作者漢森表示，問問自己是否通過耽于消極思想成就過什么事，這或許能有幫助。如果你在繞著圈跑步時(shí)思考自己的財(cái)務(wù)問題，以期找到解決辦法，那可能是有用的。但為候任總統(tǒng)或一場外交危機(jī)苦惱地一圈一圈跑，也不會(huì)有什么結(jié)果。
When your negative thoughts are making you feel agitated and overwhelmed, take a deep breath, and then another. Practicing controlled breathing can help lower the stress response and calm anxious thoughts.
當(dāng)你的消極思想讓你感到焦慮不安或難以承受時(shí)，深吸一口氣，然后再吸一口氣。練習(xí)控制呼吸有助于減輕應(yīng)激反應(yīng)，穩(wěn)定焦慮的思想。
Finally, if your thoughts are making you feel seriously distressed and interfering with your ability to work and relax, consider seeing a mental health professional. Therapists who specialize in cognitive therapy, a type of therapy that teaches practical ways to cope with persistent and unwanted thoughts, may be particularly helpful. If the underlying source of your thoughts is clinical depression or intense anxiety, you might want to talk with a professional about the root cause of your negative thinking patterns and discuss medications that can be helpful.
最后，如果你的想法讓你感到極為痛苦，妨礙你工作和放松的能力，那就得考慮去看下心理醫(yī)生。找專門研究認(rèn)知療法的心理治療師，或許尤其有幫助。這種療法會(huì)教你一些實(shí)用方法去應(yīng)對(duì)持續(xù)存在的、不必要的想法。如果你產(chǎn)生這些想法的潛在根源是臨床抑郁癥或嚴(yán)重的焦慮癥，你或許應(yīng)該和一位專業(yè)人士聊聊你的消極思維模式的根源，討論一下有助于這個(gè)問題的藥物治療。
While you are sorting out what approach works best for you, give yourself a break and have compassion for your overwrought thoughts.
在理清什么方式對(duì)你最有用的同時(shí)，給自己一個(gè)喘息的機(jī)會(huì)，體恤一下你過分勞累的神經(jīng)。
“The more you dwell on the negative, the more accustomed your brain becomes to dwelling on the negative,” said Dr. Hanson, who suggests asking yourself, “Are my thoughts helping to build me up, or tear me down?”
“越多地沉溺于負(fù)面的東西，你的大腦就越習(xí)慣于長時(shí)間思索負(fù)面的東西，”漢森說。他建議人們問問自己，“我的想法是有助于鼓舞自己，還是將我摧毀?”
