送給20多歲的姑娘們

If there is one thing I know from experience, for most people,their "roaring twenties" are a time of exploration, confusion, andutter bafflement. I was recently asked what I would go back andtell my younger self. Here are a few things that came to mind.

如果說(shuō)我從過(guò)往的經(jīng)歷中明白了某件事，那就是對(duì)多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō)，她們風(fēng)華正茂的二十歲是一段充滿探索、困惑和極度迷茫的歲月。最近，有人問(wèn)起我有什么道理是我希望告訴年輕時(shí)的自己的。以下就是我能想到的一些忠告。

1. "Bad Boys" are best saved for movies.

“壞男孩”還是讓他們留在電影里吧。

Bad boys are not exciting, they are chaotic, unreliable, unfocused and 99% of the time, they willcheat on you and don’t have a proper job. Just because they wear a cute outfit, flip off theestablishment does not mean you should trust your heart or body with them.

壞男孩并沒(méi)有什么讓人興奮的地方，他們混亂不堪，不可信賴，無(wú)法專注，他們會(huì)背叛你，更連個(gè)合適的工作都沒(méi)有。僅僅因?yàn)樗麄円轮怩r、反叛世俗，并不代表你可以把心或者身體放心交給他們。

2. You'll figure this out.

有些道理，你總會(huì)明白。

Life is a series of steps and lessons. You only learn by doing, and sometimes, that means doingthings you don't want to do, don't know how to do, shouldn't do and don't do well. Instead ofworrying about what is not happening, pay attention to your growth and take it one step at atime.

人生需要一步一腳印，慢慢吸取教訓(xùn)。你只有去做了，才能學(xué)到東西。有時(shí)，這意味著做你不愿意做的事、不會(huì)做的事、不該做的事以及不擅長(zhǎng)的事。與其擔(dān)心你沒(méi)有做到哪些，不如專注于你的成長(zhǎng)，循序漸進(jìn)。

3. No one will ever live up to a fantasy.

沒(méi)有人能滿足你的幻想。

We, as humans, are flawed creatures. The point is not to find someone who is your "perfectmatch" but instead someone who shares your values, loves you, respects you, makes you smile,can live with your annoying habits, challenges you to be your best self and appreciates that youdo the same for them.

我們生而為人，難免有所缺陷。關(guān)鍵并不是找到你的完美伴侶，而是找到那個(gè)ta，那個(gè)與你共享價(jià)值觀、愛(ài)你敬你、讓你開(kāi)心、能忍受你煩人的小習(xí)慣、挑戰(zhàn)你去做最好的自己、并能對(duì)你的同等付出心存感激的人。

4. Never chase anyone. Ever.

不要追求別人。絕對(duì)不要。

People who want to be in your life will show up. Those who deserve to be in it will act right whilethere. Pretty simple.

那些想要出現(xiàn)在你人生中的人終會(huì)出現(xiàn)。值得出現(xiàn)在你人生中的人會(huì)在合適的時(shí)候做出正確的行動(dòng)。就是這么簡(jiǎn)單。

5. Save a little money every week.

每周都存點(diǎn)錢。

There will come a time in your life when you have an unexpected situation and need a little extracash. Open a savings account and add to it every week. $100.00 when you can, $10.00 whenyou are really strapped.

人生中總會(huì)有些時(shí)候會(huì)發(fā)生意料之外的情況，需要一些額外的錢來(lái)擺平。開(kāi)一個(gè)儲(chǔ)蓄賬戶，每周都存點(diǎn)錢。力所能及的時(shí)候存100，生活拮據(jù)的時(shí)候存10塊也好。

6. Rude first dates do not get second chances.

不要給粗魯?shù)某醮渭s會(huì)對(duì)象第二次機(jī)會(huì)。

There was a study performed that said that a first date is a good indication of what the relationshipwill be like. Pay attention to how your date speaks about and to others, his or her facialexpressions, and if they cross the line with you, leave.

有研究表明，初次約會(huì)是感情走向的最佳預(yù)示。關(guān)注約會(huì)對(duì)象的談吐、面部表情，要是超越了你的底線，就離開(kāi)吧。

7. Toxic friendships are a waste of time.

不良的友誼就是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。

Define what friendship really means to you and be that kind of friend to others. If you're notgetting the support, love, loyalty and respect back-in any relationship-you need to move on. Nomatter how sticky or painful it might be initially.

衡量一下友誼對(duì)你的意義，自己先成為那樣的朋友。如果你在任何關(guān)系中沒(méi)有得到愛(ài)、忠誠(chéng)、支持和尊重，你就該放手了，無(wú)論這一開(kāi)始有多艱難和痛苦。

8. Unless you really know someone well, do not travel with them.

除非你很了解一個(gè)人，不然不要和他們一起旅行。

Ever.

絕對(duì)不要。

9. Wit is sexier than a push-up bra.

智慧比上托型內(nèi)衣更能讓你性感。

I am not going to sit here and pretend that a man doesn't have to find you attractive in order todate you. What I am saying is that focusing only on taking hot selfies and looking "sexy" is goingto backfire. Yes, you get the initial spark of attention, but if you want to keep it, you'd better havesomething else to ignite a flame.

我不會(huì)假裝男人想跟你約會(huì)時(shí)并不用覺(jué)得你很有魅力。我是想說(shuō)，只在意如何拍好看的自拍、看起來(lái)性感，會(huì)適得其反的。沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你起初能吸引對(duì)方眼球，但你若要保持這樣的火花，最好是要有別的特質(zhì)來(lái)點(diǎn)亮這團(tuán)火才行。

10. Remember, this is your journey.

記住，人生是你自己的旅程。

You are in this life and it is yours. You are the one who has to live with the decisions you make andthe ones you don't. Loss is a very real thing in this life. You will lose people. You will loseopportunities. When this happens, will you regret not saying "I love you" or booking that trip orwill you know you said everything you needed to say and took every chance you wanted to?

你主宰人生，主宰你自己的人生。你是那個(gè)對(duì)自己的決定付出代價(jià)的人。失去是生命中需要面對(duì)的現(xiàn)實(shí)，你會(huì)失去身邊的人，失去機(jī)會(huì)……當(dāng)這些發(fā)生的時(shí)候你會(huì)后悔沒(méi)有說(shuō)出那句“我愛(ài)你”、后悔沒(méi)有預(yù)定那次旅行，還是會(huì)慶幸自己說(shuō)出了每一句要說(shuō)的話、把握了每一次想要的機(jī)會(huì)呢?