談話時一定不要有這些壞習慣

Conversations are a big part of our everyday lives. And whetheryou think of yourself as a world-class communicator or assomeone who would rather just send an email than deal withface-to-face chatter, chances are you have at least a few badcommunication habits that are driving people crazy.

談話是我們日常生活中的一大部分，無論你認為自己是一位世界級的溝通大師，還是寧愿發(fā)郵件也不愿面對面地交談。不過很有可能，談話時你的一些壞習慣會讓人抓狂。

1.Constantly interrupting.

總是打斷別人。

We all have one thing in common when talking: We want to be listened to. So if you're one ofthose people who tend to jump in and interrupt or -- even worse -- try to complete people'ssentences for them, you need to keep yourself in check.

在談話的時候，我們所有人都有一個共同點：我們都想要被傾聽。所以，如果你常常去插話、打斷別人或是更糟----比如想要說完他們的話，你就需要控制好你自己。

You might think your constant interjections are a way to show your level of engagement. But theyreally just make you a conversational bulldozer.

或許你覺得不斷的插話可以展示你的互動程度，但是這只會讓你成為談話中的欺凌者。

2.Multitasking.

同時處理多項任務。

Conversations deserve your full attention -- and not just the halfhearted glances you're willing togive them when you manage to rip your focus away from your iPhone screen.

談話時你需要全神貫注----不要只是當你從手機屏幕上轉移注意力時，你才愿意半心半意的瞥他們一眼。

Multitasking is a habit we're likely all guilty of. But you need to be present for your conversations,no matter how menial or futile they may seem. That means no scrolling through your email orsubconsciously thinking about your grocery list. Give your conversational partners the attentionthey deserve.

同時執(zhí)行多重任務，是我們都很容易養(yǎng)成的壞習慣。然而你要參與到對話中，不管談話是多么的乏味或無用。那樣意味著，你不能從頭到尾滾動讀一遍你的電子郵件，亦或不知不覺就思考你的購物清單。請給予談話對象他們應得的注意力。

3.Using qualifiers.

使用修飾性詞匯。

"Don't take this personally, but..."; "This might be a bad idea, but..."; or "I know what you'rethinking, but..."

“不要以為我是在針對你，但是……”，“這可能是個壞主意，但是……”，或者“我知道你在想什么，但是……”。

Qualifiers exist for nearly every situation. But if you have the tendency to overuse them, you maybe driving people up a wall. Why? Well, while these prefacing statements might seem like a greatway to sugarcoat your sentences, they often just come off as condescending and unnecessary.

幾乎每個地方都會用到修飾性詞匯，但如果你過度使用修飾性詞匯，就會使別人非常生氣。為什么呢?用這些開場白修飾你的話，看起來是一個很好的辦法，但其往往只會給別人帶來一種居高臨下和沒有必要的感覺。

4.Equating your experiences.

將你的經歷等同于別人。

Tell me if this situation sounds familiar: Someone is explaining a difficult problem he's currentlyfacing. You immediately retort with "I know exactly how you feel!" and then launch into your ownlong-winded tale of a time you experienced something that's not even the least bit similar.

請告訴我下面這種情況聽起來是不是很熟悉：某個人正在說他面臨的一個難題，你馬上就回嘴“我知道你的感受!”，然后就開始你自己的長篇大論，哪怕你說的經歷與他那個沒有一丁點兒相似。

It's important to remember that human experiences are all different. Your attempts to showempathy are admirable. But in most cases, you're better off just listening and lending support.

重要的是你要記住，每個人的經歷都是不同的。你試圖表現出感同身受是一件好事。但在大多數情況下，你最好只是傾聽和給予支持。

5.Floundering.

言語錯亂。

We've all had to deal with those people who seem to just ramble on endlessly without a point --those people who appear to be talking simply because they like the sound of their own voices.

我們都遇見過，有些人說話似乎沒有中心，東拉西扯地說個沒完----那些人好像一直在淺顯地談論，因為他們喜歡聽他們自己的聲音。

Needless to say, you don't want to garner this reputation for yourself by constantly chiming inwithout a clear purpose. When you do decide to speak up, make sure that you're prepared to beclear and concise. That's the mark of a skilled communicator.

不用說，你肯定不想自己因為無目的地不斷插嘴而得到這樣的名聲。所以在你決定發(fā)言時，請確保自己準備說的話是清晰簡潔的。這才表現你談話很有技巧。

6.Avoiding direct contact.

避免直接接觸。

I'm a big fan of the convenience of email and text messages. However, if you've ever dealt withsomeone who took the time to write out a lengthy message for something he or she could haveeasily explained to you in person in as few as two sentences, you know how frustrating that canbe.

我特別喜愛電子郵件和手機短信的便利性。然而即便如此，如果你曾經遇到某個人花時間寫了一條很長的消息給你，而這個消息其實他(她)本可以當面用兩句話就能容易地向你解釋清楚，你就會知道這令人多么的沮喪。

The never-ending assortment of communication tools available today has made us all a little lesswilling to actually talk to one another. So before hitting send on a message, ask yourself if this issomething that could be done more efficiently in person or over the phone. You'll save yourself(and the person on the receiving end!) a lot of headaches.

如今不斷推陳出新的通訊工具隨處可得，使得我們已不大愿意和別人真誠的交談。因此，在發(fā)送一條短信之前，問問你自己是當面說更有效，還是在手機上發(fā)短信好些。這樣就給你自己(和接收端的那個人)免了許多頭疼的事情。

7.Waiting instead of listening.

等待而不是傾聽。

As my mom always loves to tell me, "There's a big difference between hearing and listening!" Andwhen you're having a conversation with someone, you should be actively listening.

正如我的媽媽總是喜歡告訴我，“聽到和傾聽之間是有很大的區(qū)別的!” 當你和某人談話時，你應該積極地傾聽。

That means you're not just staying silent while thinking of your next point and waiting for yourchance to talk again. Instead, you're engaged in what that person is explaining. Trust me -- peoplecan tell when you're tuning them out.

這意味著你在思考下一個觀點并等待機會再次交談時，不能只是保持沉默。相反，你要開始投入到對話中。相信我----別人會告訴你什么時候可以說出來。

8.Using filler words.

使用贅詞。

"Hey, Jason. Umm ... I'm just checking in on that, uhhh ... report to see if you think you'll, like,have that done by the end of the day."

“嗨，詹森。嗯……我正在檢查那個，額……報告……看看你是否喜歡，能在今天結束前做好。”

You knew this one had to make it onto the list somewhere. This is perhaps one of the toughestbad habits to break. We're all so used to littering our sentences with these unnecessary words --it's like a nervous tic for most of us. But make your best efforts to cut them out. Yourconversations will be much cleaner and more polished.

要知道，這一點是必須被記在失禮行為的清單上的。這或許是其中一個最難改掉的壞習慣了。我們都習慣說話時加上這些沒用的詞----對于我們大多數來說，這就像許多人緊張時不斷重復的口頭禪。我們要盡量避免使用他們，這樣你們之間的談話就會更精煉、簡潔。

Breaking a bad habit isn't always easy. But channel your energy into removing these faux pas fromyour conversations and you're sure to be a better communicator.

改掉壞習慣并不是件容易的事情，但是當你投入精力從你的談話中去除這些失禮行為后，你就一定能成為一個更好的溝通者。