結(jié)婚前每個(gè)人該明白的七件事

結(jié)婚前每個(gè)人該明白的七件事

Contrary to what fairy tales may tell you, relationships take work.

和童話故事描繪的截然相反，感情是需要經(jīng)營(yíng)的。

So we collected some of the best social science findings about what makes them last.

我們收集了一些有關(guān)經(jīng)營(yíng)感情的最佳社科研究發(fā)現(xiàn)。

1. If you wait until you're 23 to commit, you're less likely to get divorced.

如果等到23歲再考慮結(jié)婚，離婚幾率更小。

A 2014 University of Pennsylvania study found that Americans who cohabitate or get married at age 18 have a 60% divorce rate, whereas people who waited until the more mature age of 23 have a divorce rate of about 30%.

2014年賓夕法尼亞大學(xué)的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，18歲就同居或結(jié)婚的美國(guó)人離婚率為60%，然而那些等到23歲更成熟的時(shí)候才選擇結(jié)婚的離婚率約為30%。

2. The “in love” phase lasts about a year.

“熱戀”階段通常持續(xù)一年左右。

The honeymoon phase with its “high levels of passionate love” and “intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy, as well as an idealization of one's partner”, doesn't last forever, according to Monmouth University psychologist Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

蒙莫斯大學(xué)心理學(xué)家蓋里•W•勒萬多維斯基表示，充滿“高度激情的愛”、“強(qiáng)烈的吸引力和狂喜的感覺，同時(shí)對(duì)配偶理想化”的蜜月期并不會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)持續(xù)下去。

3. Eventually you realize that you're not one person.

最終你會(huì)意識(shí)到你不是一個(gè)人。

Once you start living together, you realize that you have different priorities and tolerances-like, for instance, what does or doesn't constitute a mess.

一旦你們開始生活在一起，你會(huì)意識(shí)到，你們有不同的優(yōu)先級(jí)和容忍度，比如說對(duì)于臟亂的定義會(huì)有所不同。

4. If you get excited for your partner's good news, you'll have a better relationship.

如果你為伴侶的好消息感到振奮，你會(huì)擁有更好的婚姻。

In multiple studies, couples that actively celebrated good news (rather than actively or passively dismissed it) have had a higher rate of relationship well-being.

多項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，相對(duì)主動(dòng)或被動(dòng)地不予理會(huì)彼此好消息的夫妻而言，積極地慶祝好消息的夫妻婚姻幸福感更高。

5. The happiest marriages are between best friends.

最幸福的婚姻發(fā)生在最好的朋友之間。

A 2014 National Bureau of Economic research study concluded that friendship could help explain the causal relationship between marriage and life satisfaction.

美國(guó)國(guó)家經(jīng)濟(jì)研究局2014年的一項(xiàng)研究顯示，友誼能夠解釋婚姻和生活滿足感之間的因果關(guān)系。

6. The closer a couple is in age, the less likely they are to get divorced.

夫妻年齡越相近，離婚的可能性越小。

An Emory University study found that couples with a five-year age difference were 18% more likely to divorce, and ones with a 10-year difference were 39% more likely.

埃默里大學(xué)的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，年齡相差5歲的夫妻離婚幾率比一般的高出18%，年齡相差10歲的夫妻離婚率則要高出39%。

7. Resentment builds quickly in couples that don't tackle chores together.

沒有共同承擔(dān)家務(wù)的夫妻，心中怨恨積累迅速。

Over 60% of Americans say that taking care of chores plays a crucial role in having a successful marriage. You'll save a lot of collective time if each person specializes in the chores they're best at.

超過60%的美國(guó)人表示，在一段成功的婚姻中，照料家務(wù)起著關(guān)鍵性的作用。如果雙方都專門負(fù)責(zé)各自拿手的家務(wù)，那么夫妻雙方可以節(jié)省出大量的共同時(shí)間。

Vocabulary:

cohabitate: 同居

ecstasy:入迷