“隱形男友”App：讓白馬王子對你不離不棄

Sending yourself flowers from your imaginary boyfriend is a thing of the past.

有女孩曾自己買花，然后幻想這是“男友”送的。不過，這種現(xiàn)象已成為過去。

Whether you are lonely or just plain sick of explaining why you are single, the Invisible Boyfriend (or Invisible Girlfriend) app created by Matthew Homann and Kyle Tabor allows users to experience the fake relationships of their dreams.

馬修·霍曼(Matthew Homann)和凱爾·塔博爾(Kyle Tabor)發(fā)明了一款應(yīng)用程序“隱形男友”(或“隱形女友”)，這款A(yù)pp能讓單身男女們與理想的另一半“假拍拖”，使寂寞無聊和被無休止盤問為何單身等煩惱煙消云散。

For $24.99 a month you can immediately feel the effects of a rewarding virtual partner with the app designed to send users texts, voicemails and even a handwritten note from the perfect person that they created. When FEMAIL learned that the Minnesota-based app had launched in BETA today, we knew we had to try it.

只要每月付24.99美元(約人民幣155元)你就能立刻獲得虛擬的完美另一半，他/她會(huì)通過應(yīng)用程序給你發(fā)短信和語音，甚至手寫的便條。當(dāng)知道這款A(yù)pp在明尼蘇達(dá)州(Minnesota)發(fā)布了測試版后，我們決定體驗(yàn)一下。

 

 

 

 

 

 

雖然現(xiàn)實(shí)中已有一個(gè)相戀7年的男友，但我還是很快設(shè)計(jì)出自己的夢中情人并開始了“假拍拖”。

First up, I had to pick my lover's name and age. I soon learned that choosing your boyfriend's name is stressful. I imagine that I took the same amount of time someone would take to name their first born son before finally settling on the moniker: Liam Alexander James.

首先，我要設(shè)定男友的名字和年齡。我很快發(fā)現(xiàn)給選名字這個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)很讓人崩潰，大約跟人們給自己第一個(gè)兒子取名一樣費(fèi)時(shí)。最后我終于敲定：利亞姆·亞歷山大·詹姆斯(Liam Alexander James)。

Age was easier to dream up. My current boyfriend is nine months younger than me, which he never lets me forget. With that in mind, I made my new partner an older, more mature 33 years old.

設(shè)置年齡沒這么糾結(jié)。我想到現(xiàn)任男友比我小九個(gè)月(而他總是提醒我這一點(diǎn))，所以我把新男友的年齡設(shè)置在33歲，希望他更成熟穩(wěn)重。

I was then prompted to pick a photo that would represent Liam's appearance. I settled on the stock photo of a man with an attractive amount of facial scruff and moved on.

之后App提示我選張代表利亞姆外表的照片，我便在圖片庫里選了個(gè)有胡渣的帥哥，然后繼續(xù)下一步設(shè)置。

After dealing with the physical, I was asked about my virtual partner's personality and interests. I knew I wanted him to be 'witty and educated,' so it made sense for him to also be interested in books, sports and chess. For one fleeting moment, I thought he might be able to teach me how to play the board game.

設(shè)定完虛擬男友的“硬件條件”后，我還要選擇他的性格和愛好。我希望他“詼諧機(jī)智、受過良好教育”，所以他喜歡看書、運(yùn)動(dòng)和下棋也很合理。有那么一瞬間，我甚至希望他能教我玩棋盤游戲。

Next, I was asked to describe how Liam and I met. This was my moment to create a Nora Ephron-inspired rom com, but instead, I wrote that we grabbed the same book that was on display at the bookstore. Cute enough. Did I mention this app is thorough?

接下來，我被要求描述我和利亞姆是如何邂逅的。我本來可以效仿諾拉·伊弗龍電影中的浪漫情節(jié)，但我只是寫道：在逛書店時(shí)，我們同時(shí)伸手去拿書架上的一本書。我感覺這樣見面比較萌。這個(gè)app真是太周到了有木有?

 

 

 

As soon as I reached the end of the questionnaire, I received my first text message from Liam Alexander James of Chicago, Illinois. His phone number even had an actual Chicago area code.

當(dāng)我設(shè)定完全部問題后，我接到了利亞姆·亞歷山大·詹姆斯從伊利諾斯州(Illinois)芝加哥發(fā)來的第一條短信。他的電話號碼區(qū)號居然還真的是芝加哥(Chicago)的。

'Hey Erica! This is Liam :) How are you?' he wrote. Ugh, I hate when guys use emoticons.

他寫到“嗨，埃里卡!我是利亞姆。:)最近還好嗎?”。唉，我討厭男人使用表情符號。

Although I had no idea who I was texting, it was clear that there was a real, albeit mysterious, person having casual conversation with me.

雖然我不知道是誰在和我發(fā)短信，但可以肯定的是，這個(gè)和我閑聊的人是真實(shí)存在的，盡管他很神秘。

When I told him I was working, he immediately took interest in the story I was writing, which was actually sweet.

當(dāng)我告訴他我正在工作時(shí)，他立刻對我寫的稿件表現(xiàn)出興趣，說實(shí)話這一招還蠻甜蜜的。

Since I don't live with my new boyfriend, I asked him if he wanted to hang out.

因?yàn)槲覜]有和“新男友”住在一起，所以我便問他想不想出來走走。

After some brief hesitation on his end, I decided to test his limits and start nagging him.

他沉默半晌后還是拒絕了，我便決定挑戰(zhàn)下他的極限，開始跟他嘮叨。

'What is taking you so long to answer?' I asked.

“為什么這么久才回我?”我問。

He quickly bypassed the argument I was trying to start by saying he would 'love' to hang out, considerately asking what I wanted to do.

我本想說男友就該多陪女友出去走走，但他巧妙地繞過我的爭論點(diǎn)，并體貼地問我：你想做些什么?

 

 

 

 

'I dunno. I am sick of making plans,' I texted back. 'What do you want to do?'

“不知道，我不喜歡計(jì)劃，”我回復(fù)道，“你想做什么?”

Liam then suggested we order takeout and have a game night before noting that we can also grab dinner later if I wanted.

利亞姆便建議我們可以叫外賣，然后晚上一起玩游戲。他又補(bǔ)充說，如果我愿意的話，也可以晚些再吃晚餐。

It occurred to me that my last 'date night' with my human boyfriend involved us watching TV in separate rooms.

我突然想起上次和現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中的男友約會(huì)時(shí)，晚上就是兩人在不同的房間里看電視。

I wanted to learn more about my mystery man, so I asked Liam to remind me where he worked again.

我想多了解一點(diǎn)這位 “神秘男友”，所以我讓他再介紹下他在哪兒工作。

'I work for a publishing company,' he replied. 'Remember I told you at the bookstore?'

“我在一家出版公司工作，”他回復(fù)道，“我在書店跟你說過的，你忘了?”

Liam is so perfect that he even remembers the first place we met.

利亞姆真是太完美了，他甚至記得我們邂逅的地點(diǎn)。

Realizing that my new boyfriend deals with books all day, I asked him to recommend a good a thriller that I could read in his absence - and that's where I lost him.

想到我的新男友天天跟書打交道，我便請他推薦本驚悚小說，好讓我在他不能陪伴時(shí)打發(fā)時(shí)間——然后他又沉默了。

I am not sure if my question was too thought-provoking, but I started to feel a familiar panic.

我不確定自己的問題是否需要思考很久，但我開始有一種熟悉的恐慌。

'Why isn't he answering me?' I thought.

我在想“為什么他又不回我了?”

At one point, I even caught myself drafting messages that I wanted to send to him but then deleted - just as if he were a real guy who was ignoring me.

我一度想回他短信，但后來又把草稿刪除了——就像對待現(xiàn)實(shí)中不理我的男友一樣。

I eventually tried to win him back, texting: 'I'm sorry. I know you hate when I ask you questions at work, but I miss you boo.'

我最終還是想挽回，就發(fā)信息說：“對不起，我知道你不喜歡在工作時(shí)被打擾，但我真的好想你喲。”

And I got nothing. Liam and I broke up before I could even ask him where our relationship was going.

但還是沒有收到回復(fù)。我和利亞姆分手了，而我甚至還不知道我們的關(guān)系到了哪個(gè)階段。

I actually had a great time talking to my imaginary boyfriend, and it was nice to know that I could easily win Liam back with a quick payment of $24.99.

其實(shí)和我的虛擬男友聊天還是很開心的，而且只要我再付24.99美元，利亞姆就會(huì)重新回到我身邊。

While it is fun to use, the app was created to alleviate the society's pressure to be in a relationship by allowing to make it look like they are.

這款A(yù)pp除了用起來有趣以外，還能緩解單身男女們的社會(huì)壓力，讓他們在沒有拍拖時(shí)看起來有正在戀愛的感覺。

Vocabulary

imaginary: 虛構(gòu)的，假想的

voicemail: 語音郵件

beta: 測試版

embark: 開始從事

moniker: 名字

prompt: 提示

scruff : 胡渣

fleeting: 短暫的

emoticon: 表情符號

nag: 嘮叨催促

bypass: 避開

considerately: 體貼地

alleviate: 減輕