【雙語】愛到白發(fā)蒼蒼時

Secrets of Super-Happy Couples

甜蜜戀人的保鮮秘訣

Why do some couples seem so head-over-heels? It's not that their lives are any easier or more perfect than yours-- but they do know how to keep the daily grind from eroding their relationship. Get some of what they have by incorporating these happy-couple strategies into your love life.

為什么有些戀人形影不離?那并不是因為他們的生活比你的容易或者完美，而是因為他們知道如何不讓雞毛蒜皮的事兒破壞他們之間的關系。讓我們一起來學習他們的一些策略。

1. Fall in love all over again. Make a conscious decision to be in love. The more you act as if you are in love, the more you will feel like you are.

重新陷入愛河?？桃獾刈屪约恒逶≡趷酆又?。你表現得更像，你就會感覺得更多。

2. Remember the good times. Treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing together and add any new fantasies to the list. Plan for them and make them happen.

記住那些美好的時刻。像戀愛之初那樣對待你的愛人。將你們過去常常一起樂于做的事情列張清單并添上一些新的想法。計劃并實現這些想法。

3. Help your partner feel more loved and secure in your love so that he or she can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Compliment, praise, give a hug. Small gestures make the grandest statements.

讓你的愛人感受到更多的愛。讓他可以信任你并對你吐露心扉，而不用顧忌被傷害或被評價。不要吝惜你的稱贊，表揚，擁抱。一個小小的舉動勝過千言萬語。

4. Don't make unilateral decisions. You're a team in many ways, so act like one. Check in and make decisions together about things large and small. Be willing to compromise.

不要做單邊決定。你們是一個團隊，所以做事就要像個團隊。無論大事小事，兩個人要一起討論做決定并且都愿意妥協(xié)。

5. Be present. Train your mind to stay in the moment -- not at work, thinking about the new color you want to paint your kitchen, or how it's time to take the dog to the vet.

活在當下。使自己的大腦停留在現在，不要想著工作，想想你要為廚房涂刷的新顏色或者是否是時候去遛狗了。

6. Pay attention to your physical appearance. Take the time to stay in shape and look good for each other. It does matter.

注重自己的儀表?；c時間保持體形，打扮自己，窈窕的身形，姣好的面容誰看著都喜歡。

7. Boost your compatibility. Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different, whereas those who are in love zero in on their similarities and think their differences are cute. Build compatibility by taking turns planning activities to do together. If you don't like your partner's choice, don't complain; it's your turn next.

提升你們的共通性。身處危機的戀人總是聚焦于他們的不同點上，而那些沐浴愛河的戀人總是著眼于他們的相似點上并認為他們的不同點很是可愛。通過輪流計劃兩人共同參與的活動來提升共通性。如果你不喜歡戀人的主意，也不要抱怨，因為下次就是你的機會。

8. Do not place blame. Replace blame and criticism with solutions and tenderness.

Problem-solve together -- sit close, hold hands, touch each other's face or hair. Be playful. When was the last time you laughed together? Rent a comedy movie to tickle your funny bone.

不要責備。 將責備和批評化為解決問題和體貼。一起來解決問題，坐在一起，手握手，撫摸對方的臉或頭發(fā)。開心點。上次你們一起開環(huán)大笑是什么時候?租一部喜劇片來一起傻樂。

9. Plan for sex. Spontaneity is great but smart couples know that good sex doesn't just happen. Like everything else, it takes time and planning.

為性生活做計劃。水到渠成的性愛自然很好，但是聰明的戀人都知道完美的性生活不是憑空出現的。性愛和任何事情一樣，都需要時間和計劃。

10. Fact-find -- don't mind-read. You may think you know but you can't assume. You may believe he should know, but that's not fair, either. Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don't throw you both off course.

一定告訴他。你可能認為你知道，他也應該知道，但是你不能假設，那是不公平的。一定要清除誤解和誤會以確保你們倆不會發(fā)生沖突。

11. Fight fair -- and by appointment only.

Schedule a limited time to discuss a problem and confine your comments to that issue only. It's easier to relax and feel free to enjoy each other when you know you won't be ambushed by a litany of complaints and criticisms.

就事論事。按照約定。安排一個特定的時間討論某問題并只對這一問題發(fā)表意見。當你們知道你們不會被一連串的抱怨和批評傷及時，你們也就更容易放松和自由地嬉鬧。

12. Prepare for checkouts.

Even in the closest marriage, everyone needs time alone. Don't take it personally and don't make each other feel guilty if you need to spiritually and emotionally regroup. Just be sure to tell each other when you are checking out (max, one day) -- and when you're checking back in.

為彼此保留空間。即使是最親密的婚姻關系，每個人也仍然需要時間獨處。不要私人占有，也不要在與親友共度時光時感到內疚。只要確保告訴對方你何時出去(最多一天)與何時回來。