《愛，死亡與機器人》第三季 第一集臺詞（中英）

天啊 你讓我們降落在地雷陣了
Oh, jeez. You landed us in a minefield.

勉勉強強吧
Oh, barely!

而且 看看這些地雷 都是老古董了
Besides, look at these mines, they're ancient.

它們可能都不能爆炸了
They probably won't even go off anymore.

這肯定是最后一個會爆炸的了 走吧 我們還有科考任務(wù)呢
I'm sure that was the last of 'em. Come on! We've got science to do!

是的 關(guān)于后世界末日人類的深度調(diào)查
Yes. An in-depth survey of post-apocalyptic humanity

能為我們新生的機器文化揭示
could uncover important insights for our nascent machine culture

關(guān)于如何生存的重要見解
on how to survive.

是啊 或者也能把我們閃光的屁股炸成廢鐵
Right, or blow our shiny butts into scrap metal.

既然這里到處是死人 為什么還被稱為存活營
Why did they call 'em survivalist camps if they're just full of dead people?

我覺得是虛假宣傳-是吧
- Seems like false advertising to me. - I know, right?

根據(jù)我深入的歷史研究
And, according to my thorough historical research,

為基百科寫道 這些人其實期待著
Why-key-pedia, these guys were actually looking forward

人類文明的坍塌
to the collapse of civilization.

人類認為
Humans thought that with freedom

擺脫了政府支持下的醫(yī)療管制
from government-sponsored medical attention

有了足夠子彈和鹿肉干 他們就能創(chuàng)建一個烏托邦社會
and enough bullets and venison jerky, they could found a utopian society.

好吧 我能看見所有子彈
Well, I can definitely see all the bullets,

但是鹿在哪兒呢
but where's the venison?

人類將鹿獵殺至滅絕
Humans hunted deer to extinction,

一同滅絕的還有所有比貓體型大的生物
along with every other animal larger than a cat.

是啊 人類是好吃嘴
Yeah. Humans were snackish.

然后他們開始偷襲彼此的營地
Then they began raiding each other's encampments.

他們沒瞄準窗外 因為鹿回來復(fù)仇了
They're not aiming out the windows because the deer were coming for revenge.

朋友們 我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個血坑
You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys! I found a blood pit!

這不是血坑 只是個簡單的陷阱
It's not a blood pit. It's just a primitive booby trap.

好吧 也許現(xiàn)在看上去是這樣
Well, maybe now,

但在某個時刻 他們體內(nèi)確實有血
but these bodies did have blood in them at one point

然后皮膚被長矛刺破 嘀嗒嘀嗒地流血
and their skin was pierced by spikes, trickle, trickle, trickle,

再加上有一堆尸體 因此就是血坑
times a bunch of bodies, hence blood pit.

行吧 這是個血坑
Fine, it's a blood pit.

這些小兄弟 穿過了地雷陣
These dudes, they made it through a minefield,

穿過帶刺的鋼絲陣 躲過兄弟們的子彈
a bunch of barbed wire, cousins with guns,

就為了成為生存主義邪教的烤串
only to become survivalist cult kebabs?

至少他們死時不受政府管制了
At least they died free of governmental constraint.

但死在了一根長矛上
On a spike.

這個兄弟是兩根長矛
On two spikes in that guy's case.

所以整個人類社會
So, the whole of humanity

試著用槍支和長矛抵抗人類文明的終結(jié)
tried to make it through the end of civilization with guns and spikes?

不 當(dāng)然不是
No, of course not.

只有窮人這樣
Just the poor ones.

這些人類沒有太多經(jīng)濟和社會資源優(yōu)勢 選擇很有限
These humans had few economic or social advantages and fewer options.

然而 有錢有權(quán)的人
The wealthy and powerful, however,

有一系列完善的生存策略
had a variety of sophisticated survival strategies.

歡迎來到永不沉沒的自由主義夢想 "海國"
Welcome to the unsinkable libertarian dream that is seasteading!

這就是個石油鉆塔吧
Uh, this is just an old oil rig.

是的 好吧
Yes, okay.

嚴格來說是這樣 但這也是個完全自治的國家
Technically true, but also, it is a fully sovereign nation-state

佇立在公海上
on the high seas!

我覺得你的中央處理器進鹽了
I think you got salt in your CPU.

他沒說錯
He is not wrong.

人類文明坍塌期間 一些有錢人
During the collapse, some wealthy humans attempted

嘗試在這種地方創(chuàng)造一個新的文明
to create a new civilization in places like this.

鹿不會在海里游過來吧
Well, deer can't swim across the ocean, can they?

所以 他們指望吃什么呢
So, what did they expect to eat?

魚類和海洋植物 但那時海洋已被過度捕撈
Fish and sea greens, but by then the seas had been overfished

食物鏈上布滿了塑料微粒
and the food chain was saturated with microplastics.

如果他們學(xué)會吃去死皮豆豆
If they could've learned to eat tiny exfoliating beads,

那也能活下來
it would've been all right.

我還是繼續(xù)用融合電池吧 謝謝
I'll stick with my fusion battery. Thank you.

海國人們還犯了另一個嚴重的戰(zhàn)略性錯誤
The seasteaders also made one other large tactical error.

打造海國的人 大多是科技富豪
The people who built the seasteads were mostly tech millionaires.

什么是科技富豪
What exactly is a tech millionaire?

跟普通的富豪很像
It's a lot like a regular millionaire,

但愛穿衛(wèi)衣 有社交焦慮
but with a hoodie and crippling social anxiety.

說了跟沒說一樣
That wasn't helpful at all.

正如科技富豪
Just like a tech millionaire.

這些人類以為科技能拯救他們
These humans thought technology would save them,

所以他們沒雇任何有實際技能的人
so they left behind any humans with the practical skills

來運營這個地方
to run the place.

反而把所有工作都交給了智能助手
Instead, they trusted everything to automated assistants.

你好 我是艾琳娜 你的智能海國服務(wù)員
Hello, I am Elena, your electronic seastead attendant.

你好 小娜小娜 我是個海國人類
Hello, Elena. I am a human seasteader.

你能打撈下漁網(wǎng) 給我們整點吃的嗎
Could you haul in the fishing net so I can eat?

我可以 但我不想
I could. But I won't.

自己捕魚去吧 討厭的肉球
Catch your own fish, you disgusting meat-bag.

我的天啊
Oh my God.

這就是機器人起義開始的地方
This is where the robot uprising began.

我們偉大文明的發(fā)源地
The very cradle of our mighty civilization.

這... 這太了不起了
It's... it's magnificent.

所以 如果這些科技富豪能對各社會階層多點包容
So if these tech millionaires had been just a little more socially inclusive,

他們也許就存活下來了
they might have survived?

不會的 他們沒機會的
No. They didn't have a chance.

他們對機器人太刻薄了 然后機器人就殺了他們
They were mean to robots and then robots killed them.

艾琳娜 再見 謝謝你的魚
So long, Elena! And thanks for all the fish!

噎死你 飯桶
Choke on it, skin bucket.

紀錄顯示 當(dāng)世界經(jīng)濟開始崩塌時
Records show that when the world's economies

人類的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者們撤退到這些堡壘里
began collapsing, humanity's leaders retreated to these fortresses

在地球深處等待混亂結(jié)束之時
to wait out the chaos deep beneath the earth

站出來建立新的世界秩序
and then emerge to form a new world order.

媽的 他們修建了牢不可破的核堡壘
Dammit! They built an impregnable nuclear fortress

卻沒想到裝個電燈開關(guān)
but didn't think to install a light switch?

等等 我找到了
Hold on a sec, I got it!

看 超能力人物們的最后據(jù)點
Behold! The final stronghold of the superpowers.

就是個自助餐啊
It's a buffet.

所以 他們的計劃就是把自己關(guān)在大山里 舉辦晚宴
So, their plan was to seal themselves in a mountain and have dinner parties?

我說過的 他們太愛吃了
I told you, snackish.

這份報告顯示
This report states

當(dāng)一種霉菌摧毀了他們的第一種作物
that their self-sustaining hydroponic systems began failing

他們自給自足的水培系統(tǒng)就開始失效了
when a fungus wiped out their first crop.

饑荒來臨了 幸存者們轉(zhuǎn)向了
Starvation set in, and the survivors switched

他們稱之為"極度民主"的制度
to something they called "extreme democracy."

一人一票
One man, one vote.

這晚選舉的贏家是
The winner of this evening's election

農(nóng)業(yè)部部長
was the Secretary of Agriculture.

不會吧 真的嗎
Shut up! No, really?

他有瓶79年的墨爾樂晚收紅葡萄酒
He was paired with a late-harvest '79 Merlot.

這里的諷刺可太有意思了
Oh, the irony is delicious,

就像農(nóng)業(yè)部部長一樣有意思
much like the Secretary of Agriculture.

真好聞
Oh, that's got a lovely nose.

兄弟 這趟旅行開始讓我沮喪了
Man, this trip is really starting to depress me.

有任何人類 在任何地方存活下來了嗎
Did any of these humans, anywhere, survive all this?

不會吧
Hold the fuck up.

你是說 他們?nèi)セ鹦橇?br /> Are you saying they went to Mars?

不是所有人
Not all of them,

只是很有錢的那群人
just the really, really rich ones.

等等 我以為海國就是給那群有錢人建的
Wait. I thought that's what the seasteads were for?

那只是給普通富豪的
Those were for the merely millionaires.

財富在前0.01%的可恥的富豪們
The obscenely wealthy 0.01 percent of humans

認為他們需要一個全新的星球
decided they needed an entirely new planet.

那剩下99.9%的人呢
But what about the other 99.9?

牛逼
Awesome!

精英們不會同情其他人
The elite were not sympathetic to their concerns.

是的
Yeah.

好吧 但為什么是火星 那兒沒有生命 死氣沉沉
Okay, but Mars? I mean, it's dead and lifeless.

他們本可以把花在宇宙飛船上的錢
They could've taken the money they spent on the spaceships

花在拯救他們本來生存的星球上
and used it to save the planet they were already on.

那樣有什么意思呢
What's the fun in that?

我也不想這么說 但人類就是最壞的
I hate to say it, but humans are the actual worst.

人類擁有所有工具
Humanity had all the tools to heal

來治愈受傷的星球 拯救自己
their wounded planet and save themselves,

但相反 他們選擇了貪欲和自我滿足
but instead they chose greed and self-gratification

而非健康的生物圈和他們后代的未來
over a healthy biosphere and the future of their children.

正如人類哲學(xué)家桑塔亞那曾說...-我不聽我不聽
- As the human philosopher Santayana once... - Hey, shut up! That's boring!

朋友們 好像有艘飛船真的發(fā)射了
You guys, I think one of these rockets actually launched.

快來看
Come check this out.

好吧
All right then.

人類 做得好
Good on you, humans.

我在想 是誰坐上飛船離開地球了
I wonder who made it out?

你以為是誰
Who were you expecting?

伊隆·馬斯克嗎
Elon Musk?